Personal Sexual Taste as Relates to Your View of QS

[Duncan Edwards]

I've been wanting to ask this for years now but for some reason I've avoided it. Not sure why.

Discussion in another topic made me decide to proceed. Since I'm going to ask it of others I should begin with myself. Follow along for a bit...

I'm a 50 year old heterosexual white male that I've always supposed might be at least mildly "over sexed" if there really is such a thing. Over the years I've come to believe that my sexual tastes, habits, desires, and the partner I've spent the most time having sex with for the last 24 years, are related deeply to how my fetish relates to quicksand. I don't really take an interest in passively receiving sexual gratification from a woman. She's wasting her time trying to get on top or expecting me to just lie there and let her do things like the guys in porn movies do. That hits me as absolutely uninteresting. It's almost as if I believe that sex has to be "inflicted" on my partner. I decide when and where and how and I'm on top and in charge of the entire thing. Foreplay is generally the time it takes to turn the lights off or get the buttons undone. Back in earlier years before offspring were constantly underfoot there was often water involved either in the pool, tub, shower, lake, etc. Breath holding comes into play with underwater activity. My wife is a lanky, leggy, brunette, fitness instructor who resembles the center of most of my fantasies. (Cross Ellie Mae Clampett with Xena?) She is not at all what I would call submissive and it's not unusual for sex to resemble a wrestling match and cause property damage on occasion. For a long time our favorite practice involved both of us coming in sweaty and I throw her over my shoulder and run off to the shower.

I realize this might be getting into too much information but I think it says a lot about the way I look at quicksand. Quicksand has always for some reason meant sex to me. The first time I ever willingly put a girl in my fantasies was in third grade and she was also a tall brunette. (As was my mother but let's not go there) I don't care for lingering stuck scenes I just like to get to the point. (Lack of foreplay) I like erotic scenes most of the time and nudity is my favorite wardrobe. (I've preferred all my sex partners to wear nothing over the years as well. ) I like sex to be warm and wet and extremely physical and exhausting. (Sounds like quicksand to me) I like to completely envelop my partner and to be in control of her. (Get the metaphor here?) Dave has correctly pointed out to me in the past that my interest in a scene really doesn't begin until a lady is at least waist deep and the interest increases from there. Once the victim is up to her chin and in the control of the quicksand I don't mind if it takes a long time after that for her to go under. But she better go under and that burst of bubbles or screaming has to stand for orgasm. (More sexual metaphor)

So now we get to the questions that remain unanswered.

Is it like this for others? Can anyone else connect their sex life to their qs fetish interest?

Does my sexual behavior inform my fetish or the other way around? Understanding this might be important.

[nachtjaeger]

Interesting topic, thanks for sharing!

Not sure how or if my interest in quicksand affects my sexuality. I am a 46 year old hetero male, happily married to a skilled and generous lover who is also my best friend. Neither of us is either dom or sub; we can enjoy "lying back and enjoying it" or servicing our partner equally well. Wild, passionate sex is great- yes, there have been minor injuries and a paranormal incident or two. But cuddling is great too, as is the good night kiss that ends up taking an hour.

One way that deep mud and quicksand tie into my sexuality is the "adrenalin rush." For sinkers, you know that feeling you get when you're looking for deep mud- or maybe aren't- and you find it by accident. I guess I'm a bit of an adrenalin junkie, and that is a definite trigger. And of course the "damsel in distress" scenario is a favorite of mine- rescue the girl just before she goes under, and be suitably rewarded. And the fact that sinking in deep mud just feels so darn good. One of the best "fetish triggers" for me is the "sink tease" type of scene. The Lady is going into the deep mud on purpose, to please me. In that situation, the progression from foreplay (the lady first getting in the mud) to climax (her going under) ties in almost exactly with sex. I am so lucky that my Lady Wife is totally not jealous, and is cool with me watching QS fetish videos or even "regular" porn (which I very rarely do.)

If a woman wanted to seduce me, the best way I guess would be for her to set things up so we're getting chased through the woods by a bunch of generic bad guys. She'd be wearing a "party dress" and tall dress boots. Suddenly she runs into quicksand. But before I can save her, I have to fight off the bad guys- ninjas, pirates, orcs, whatever. By the time I deal with the last of them, she's in all the way up to her chin. I save her at the last second, and then she falls into my arms and says "take me now!" Under those circumstances, I could not control myself.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, while Quicksand (or more specifically, attractive women sinking in quicksand) is a huge turn-on and part of my sex life, I am also capable of having a really great quicksand-free sex life without feeling as if I were missing something.

[MadMax359]

ok, I think I see what you're asking... as someone who's into damsels in distress, quicksand for me is just one of many classic perilous scenarios... when I see a scene, or even better, get to act it out, I want my damsels feisty and defiant and struggling, never submissive or a victim

so in the bed, I have no problem if the lady wants to initiate something, or be on top... stay feisty, ladies!

[faceofjohn]

I have a theory.
"Fetish" is the term we use, psychologists call it Paraphilia, it can be defined as arousal by stimuli not related to the procreation of the species. Hope that sound familiar.
There are many paraphilias and I believe we all have at least one. Mamaphlia is arousal at the sight of large breasts, Xenophilia is arousal at the thought of foreign accents etc. A lot of guys would admit to those! Homosexual sex is another - no procreation there, but casual hetero sex also falls into the category in my view. If you lie with a woman - (even your wife) without the express intention of producing baby that is perverted sex! (Not my view I have to add). Our paraphilia has no title, but that's probably because no one has done a formal study on it - yet! I have others - quite like long dark hair and there's something about a woman with a lisp! I thought all of this would end on my marriage but 23 years of happy marriage and there's no sign of it!
Paraphilias seem to me mostly experienced by the male of the species, - question is why? Some would say we are just "dirty" but there has to be more to it than that. Creationalists will say "that's the way God made me", but Evolutionist can also state a theory. The female mammal is only receptive to reproduce for a few days every month. The male must be ready to inseminate at a moments notice. Freud tells us its all about reproduction, so a male that can be aroused by any stimuli at all will have an evolutionary advantage.
If your stimuli happens to be an image of a female ensnared in a thick fluid then as Duncan points out quicksand will just mean "sex".

[joedeep130535]

First & foremost I am NOT disagreeing with anybody We are all individuals with our own tastes & "sex triggers" --Down Freud!! & we all have an absolute right to our own preferences
As a bi male I like to see men or women sinking but for me the mud must be thick The descent slow & the struggles desperate A slow sink from knee to neck is ideal as long as the "victim" keeps on trying to escape Finally rescue or that convenient vine are required
My own sinking takes place on similar lines except that the final scene is one of being helplessly stuck Fortunately this has never (yet) happened but darned near it on 1 or 2 memorable occasions
I don't know what this may say about my own sex performances I don't need mud for sex but it sure makes it more exciting if a willing partner can be found.
Thick mud & getting stuck can make me excited to ejaculation
Seeing a person in mud,for real or on video can make me excited enough to want sex but the gratification may not involve mud
Work it out & let me know lol

[ducttapej]

I believe I will be lying awake pondering this for a few nights.

My “paraphilia” is all over the place.

[scooterjack]

Great topic. I think this has been mentioned before, but to me quicksand is very sexual in nature. If you close your eyes and listen to an intense quicksand scene, it sounds like sex. The grunting, yelling and especially the slurping sound of the bog itself. Most of my quicksand fantasies involve my wife. I told her one time I had a fantasy of seeing her sinking in quicksand while she was wearing a particular pair of tight jeans she had at the time. She was definitely aroused by this in a slightly shy kind of way. The next day, out of nowhere, she simulated sinking in quicksand in front of me while she was wearing those tight jeans I mentioned. Since then the quicksand topic hasn't come up, but she knows I have a quicksand fetish because whenever a quicksand scene is on TV, which is rarely (Indiana Jones) there's like a quiet tension in the room.

[ghostofmyeyes]

For me the fetish definitely came first and influences how I go about partnered sex for sure. It took time and practice to build the connection in my brain between fucking and orgasm. When I first started to have partners, I just focused on finding out what aroused and stimulated them, and orchestrating their "helplessness" by that means. Even now, my orgasms are usually triggered when my partner appears to be having one of their own.

I've basically adapted my quicksand fantasy to the medium of partnered sex, with me cast in the role of quicksand, sucking my partner in and making their orgasm more and more certain, gradually less escapable. Right now I most often have sex with a rather passive person, which works fine since I like to fantasize about a person being awed and almost paralyzed by the quicksand, fearful any movement will make them sink faster, holding out hope of escape even as an equally intense urge to surrender to the quicksand builds and finally breaks through to conscious willingness at the moment of submersion. I would enjoy it, though, to have the dynamic turned about at whiles: to feel like I'm the one helpless in the middle of the quicksand, beyond the reach of anything that can save me. So long as the scenario, the 'ritual,' is enacted I'm ecstatic no matter which my role. My partner has a vampire fantasy, so perhaps they can take on the overpowering presence and grace of the vampire and it will translate

[Pixie Cut Lover]

Not sure really if it affects my tastes or not, I'm all over the map when it comes to sex, I'm a switch as far as S M type stuff. But not always into that even. A lot of it might be driven by what the girl likes and what she can talk me into.