Quicksand Fans

What's a Groaner you ask? An incredibly lame pun or joke that makes you groan at how bad it is.
I'll start it off-
Q: What did the lady mop say to her bucket boyfriend?
A: "You're dumped."

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dan Rather.
Dan Rather who?
Dan Rather play golf than football.

And of course, the lamest one-liner of all-
Two drums and a cymball fall off a cliff. *bah-dum-tss!*

*Flees from rotten tomatoes and vegetables*

A set of jumper cables walk into a bar. The bouncer looks them over and says "I'm letting you in, but don't start anything."

A termite walks into a tavern and says "Is the bar tender here?"

Famous scientists Erwin Schrodinger and Wener Heisenberg were on their way to a conference. Heisenberg was driving when they got pulled over for speeding. "You were going 80 miles an hour back there" says the cop. "Impossible!" says Heisenberg, "You can't possibly have measured my speed and location at the same time." Annoyed, the cop decides to search the vehicle. In the trunk, he finds a dead cat. He goes back to the window of the car and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back there?" Schrodinger does a facepalm and says "I do now."

"Knock, knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Saddam."
"Saddam who?"
"Saddam shame you don't hear knock-knock jokes any more."

A piece of string walks into a bar. The bouncer stops him- "Sorry, pal, we don't allow strings in here." So the string decides to disguise himself. He rolls around on the sidewalk, frizzes out his ends, and twists himself into a pretzel. When he goes back to the bar, the bouncer says "Hey, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Three men walk into a bar.

.
.
.
.
The fourth one ducks.

A movie producer wants to cast a movie where classical composers are played by action stars; Stallone says "I'll be Mozart"; Van Damme says "I''ll be Beethoven"; Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach"

What did the pot say to the frying pan?


Nothing. Pots don't talk.

Q: What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
A: Nothing, they just waved.

Q: What's Irish and stays outside?
A: Pati O' Furniture

"Sorry," says the bartender. "We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos in here."

A neutrino walks into a bar.

Heard about the man at the glasses factory who fell into a lens polisher at work and made a spectacle of himself?

PM2K, your second joke was already posted in this topic...
*cue The Price Is Right losing horns*

How many doors are there on a chicken coop?

Two, if it had four it would be a chicken sedan.



Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the damned elephant.