'Groaners' joke topic

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DJlurker
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'Groaners' joke topic

Postby DJlurker » Mon Jan 23, 2017 9:27 pm

What's a Groaner you ask? An incredibly lame pun or joke that makes you groan at how bad it is. ;)
I'll start it off-
Q: What did the lady mop say to her bucket boyfriend?
A: "You're dumped."

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dan Rather.
Dan Rather who?
Dan Rather play golf than football. :lol:

And of course, the lamest one-liner of all-
Two drums and a cymball fall off a cliff. *bah-dum-tss!* :D

*Flees from rotten tomatoes and vegetables* :shock:

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nachtjaeger
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic

Postby nachtjaeger » Wed Jan 25, 2017 4:02 am

A set of jumper cables walk into a bar. The bouncer looks them over and says "I'm letting you in, but don't start anything."

A termite walks into a tavern and says "Is the bar tender here?"

Famous scientists Erwin Schrodinger and Wener Heisenberg were on their way to a conference. Heisenberg was driving when they got pulled over for speeding. "You were going 80 miles an hour back there" says the cop. "Impossible!" says Heisenberg, "You can't possibly have measured my speed and location at the same time." Annoyed, the cop decides to search the vehicle. In the trunk, he finds a dead cat. He goes back to the window of the car and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back there?" Schrodinger does a facepalm and says "I do now." :lol:

"Knock, knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Saddam."
"Saddam who?"
"Saddam shame you don't hear knock-knock jokes any more."

A piece of string walks into a bar. The bouncer stops him- "Sorry, pal, we don't allow strings in here." So the string decides to disguise himself. He rolls around on the sidewalk, frizzes out his ends, and twists himself into a pretzel. When he goes back to the bar, the bouncer says "Hey, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic

Postby Fred588 » Wed Jan 25, 2017 7:13 am

Three men walk into a bar.

.
.
.
.
The fourth one ducks.
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MadMax359
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic

Postby MadMax359 » Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:25 pm

A movie producer wants to cast a movie where classical composers are played by action stars; Stallone says "I'll be Mozart"; Van Damme says "I''ll be Beethoven"; Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach"
The strong do what they want, the weak do what they must

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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic

Postby Zorah Valtero » Wed Jan 25, 2017 3:39 pm

What did the pot say to the frying pan?


Nothing. Pots don't talk.

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Mynock
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic

Postby Mynock » Wed Jan 25, 2017 4:49 pm

Q: What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
A: Nothing, they just waved.

Q: What's Irish and stays outside?
A: Pati O' Furniture
"Know thyself, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories."
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DangerGirl
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic

Postby DangerGirl » Wed Jan 25, 2017 5:20 pm

"Sorry," says the bartender. "We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos in here."

A neutrino walks into a bar.

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PM2K
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic

Postby PM2K » Wed Jan 25, 2017 10:20 pm

Heard about the man at the glasses factory who fell into a lens polisher at work and made a spectacle of himself?
Last edited by PM2K on Thu Jan 26, 2017 1:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

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DJlurker
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic

Postby DJlurker » Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:33 am

PM2K, your second joke was already posted in this topic...
*cue The Price Is Right losing horns* :(

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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic

Postby Fred588 » Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:48 am

How many doors are there on a chicken coop?

Two, if it had four it would be a chicken sedan.



Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the damned elephant.
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