Quicksand Fans

Kim "weights" for the inevitable.

"Hey, either one of you find something to get me out of this plant AND quicksand? Jayne? Caroline? Guys????? Guys???!!!???"

"Maybe I should put the sign over there? This dress sure makes it hard to walk, maybe if I try to churn my feet through this goop..." Jayne's naivety was proportional to the size of her huge ass.

"Wednesday, this has gone far enough..."

Barb and her daughter Jenn answered an ad for "Mother and daughter needed for adventure reality series." Upon answering the ad, they were told to get into two tight dresses, some high heels, and were surprised when they were handcuffed as they exited the dressing room. They learned the show they were supposedly in was them having to escape from a remote house surrounded by a swamp. Things went well at first. Barb and Jenn were able to get out of the house, and though their clothes weren't remotely appropriate, they made good progress. Finally they came to a clearing, and realized they just had to get across it. As they wiggled across their heels began to punch through the ground, which was behaving similar to a large waterbed. Suddenly both of them plunged through the surface, and quickly realized they had been walking across quicksand. "Jenn, are you stuck too?" "I sure am, mom. I hate to say it, but I'm kind of hoping my big butt will help me stay afloat. Thanks for those genes, though you didn't give me the chest ones." Jenn, this is pretty serious. I'm still sinking." "So am I, mom. I guess I should say I really like your new haircut, it's a neat take on the bob." "Well, let's hope we bob long enough to be rescued..."

"You were joking when you said this would be the last place I'd ever spend a night IN, right? Please take the handcuffs off..."

Mary, Lisa and Kathy all thought the clearing was their way to safety after they escaped from their captor's remote manor in the swamp. Unable to find a way to release their handcuffs, the three wiggled along, finally seeing a large clearing. Deciding to cut across it they paid no heed to the ground rippling like a waterbed as they walked until they broke through the surface. It was then they realized they were on top of, but rapidly descending into quicksand.

Kim's producers decided she should join her sinking ratings...

Kathy was drunk and decided this would be a good spot to rest, but was wondering why everything was growing so quickly all of a sudden...

"Really? A quicksand warning buoy? My ass isn't THAT buoyant, is it???????" Tracey not happy...