Quicksand Fans

This is just me posting my back-catalogue again. It was written for the DS Hallowe'en contest in 2007 and carried off a couple of consolation prizes. Nevertheless its problem (I eventually came to realise) was that whatever its merits as a horror story, it rather fell short in term of sinkiness. I have been meaning to give it a bit of a re-write for ages, and this competition has finally prompted me to do so. I'd be interested to hear from those who remember the first version whether I've improved the story or simply clogged it up.

Am I really the last person on the planet who still spells Hallowe'en with an apostrophe, by the way?

It is so sad that the girl was taken under the mire by those tentacles...

I was in a mixture of confusion over what her name was, only to find out later that she did not let him know her name.

It is a sad story for a girl to sink and disappear into quicksand, it is even sadder for a girl who has yet to give us any idea of her name to disappear in quicksand.

It is a painful loss that I feel when I finished reading.

Was it all a dream, did this really happen to me when I was reading?

I guess I will never know...

All I have is a story, and an image of a girl who is taken from me not even knowing what her name was.

That is what I felt when I finished reading by the way.


Now that I remember, she was saved from the worm tentacles, but when the main character blacked out, you did not know what became of her.

So I was not sure if she was saved or not, now THAT is a really confusing ending, but it fits well within this style too.

Great story, Lomax! I always enjoy reading your work.

TBoneTony wrote:It is so sad that the girl was taken under the mire by those tentacles...

I was in a mixture of confusion over what her name was, only to find out later that she did not let him know her name.

It is a sad story for a girl to sink and disappear into quicksand, it is even sadder for a girl who has yet to give us any idea of her name to disappear in quicksand.

It is a painful loss that I feel when I finished reading.

Was it all a dream, did this really happen to me when I was reading?

I guess I will never know...

All I have is a story, and an image of a girl who is taken from me not even knowing what her name was.

That is what I felt when I finished reading by the way.

Now that I remember, she was saved from the worm tentacles, but when the main character blacked out, you did not know what became of her.

So I was not sure if she was saved or not, now THAT is a really confusing ending, but it fits well within this style too.

I find it curious, to say the least, that your comments focus exclusively on the girl, who was the extra ingredient I added to the story on the re-write. As originally submitted, there was no girl in this story at all.

You wrote that 5 years ago? It was a great story to read. You know Lomax I love to read those Lovecraft fan anthologies? Those collections of tales by other writers,who write after Lovecraft's style? And your story is actually better then some of those I've read in them. You really ought to submit this one! It is good enough to be included in my opinion.

And by any chance have you read the tales of a dude named Laird Barron? He's an Alaskan who writes top notch tales in the Lovecraftian mold. I think you'd love his stories. And this tale reminded me a bit of his first novel The Croning. It's a story about a being called Old Leech. Your monster in this tale could be one of Old Leeches avatars! It's symbol is a broken wormlike ouroborous.

Great story! Hope you write more!

Lord Malaphus wrote:You wrote that 5 years ago? It was a great story to read. You know Lomax I love to read those Lovecraft fan anthologies? Those collections of tales by other writers,who write after Lovecraft's style? And your story is actually better then some of those I've read in them. You really ought to submit this one! It is good enough to be included in my opinion.

And by any chance have you read the tales of a dude named Laird Barron? He's an Alaskan who writes top notch tales in the Lovecraftian mold. I think you'd love his stories. And this tale reminded me a bit of his first novel The Croning. It's a story about a being called Old Leech. Your monster in this tale could be one of Old Leeches avatars! It's symbol is a broken wormlike ouroborous.

There has been an awful lot of Lovecraft-imitation. Some of it in the man's lifetime, as he encouraged that sort of thing. I have an old anthology containing Cthulhuesque tales by August Derleth, Clark Ashton Smith, Frank Belknap Long, Robert Bloch - even Robert E Howard. And I found them unsatisfactory. True, even Lovecraft himself was a bit hit-and-miss, but his best stuff remains unsurpassed after nearly eight decades.

I can't say that I've heard of Laird Barron. Maybe I'll give him a try.

Great story! Hope you write more!

Funny you should say that...

If you mean you hope I write more Lovecraftian stories - then I have. A new anthology of stories inspired by Providence's most famous son will shortly be published, and a tale by me (not this one) is included. More details as and when - watch this space.

If you mean you hope I write more Sinking stories - well watch this space again. For slightly longer, but I've been working on something for a while. An embarrassingly long while, actually, but still. My muse is lethargic these days.

I can't wait to read your story! I also look forward to your sinker tales also. I'm nearly finished with a longer story I've been working on. It will be a bit graphic.