Shortcut to Straight Down (qs/f/fatal)

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MikeKK
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Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 1:06 pm

Shortcut to Straight Down (qs/f/fatal)

Postby MikeKK » Thu Oct 06, 2016 4:42 pm

Heyo. First time posting on the forum here. I shared a few short stories at the disturbedthings board (under a different username), so I figured I might as well slap them on here as well. This one was the first one I wrote a few weeks ago.

Shortcut to Straight Down

Cutting back through the bog was Lyz’s idea. It was a stupid, stupid idea, but I suppose there’s some justice to be found in the fact that she paid for it more dearly than I did.

Lyz and I had walked around the bog’s edge, where the paths were clearly marked with little pyramids of painted rocks, for the better part of the morning in search of the old church ruins—I wanted to snap a few photos of it before the ferry took us back to the mainland.

We never found the church. A fog blanked and lack of reliable directions made sure of that. Dejected, we were about to turn around and head back when Lyz dared me to cross straight across the bog with her instead.

“Let’s do it, Tara. It’ll be shorter,” she said, “And you can get some good shots in there, I bet.”

I wasn’t sure. The bog was flat and narrow. The shortcut would save us a long, chilly walk, and there was plenty of dry ground to follow. Besides, Lyz wasn’t one to be deterred by reasoning or logic, so I saved myself the hassle and nodded.

Lyz led the way. Within minutes, we’d trudged along a winding spit of wet grass and lost sight of the path. I soon realized Lyz was right. The fog tendrils, dark water pools, and ghastly reeds were as interesting a photo subject as any old church.

I was snapping a few close-ups of a particularly photogenic cluster of cat o’ nine tails when Lyz pointed ahead.
“See?” She said, clearly proud of herself. “I see the path again already.”

“Give me a sec,” I grunted. “Light sucks here.” I adjusted my camera settings.

Lyz plowed ahead without me. “I’ll double check to make sure—“ her words changed to a yelp.

I shot up in time to see her legs fly out from under her, courtesy of the wet grass. Lyz slid on her backside down a shallow bank and landed in a muddy patch.

“Dammit.” She added a few more choice words as she picked herself up. Mud streaked her jeans. “I suppose it goes without saying, but watch out for that slick spot.”

I shook my head. “This is why I carry the camera.” I was about to turn back to my unfinished photo shoot when Lyz made a small noise in her throat.
She held up her arms, wobbling in place. “Whoa. Careful. It’s tricky here.”

The mucky ground enveloped her sneakers.

“Get back to the bank,” I said, “Before you get stuck.”

Lyz rolled her eyes at me. “Right. Like I can’t…” Her voice trailed off as the dark mud splattered against her ankles. “Okay, maybe getting out is a good idea.”

I took one last shot of the fuzzy plants, then let them go about their swampy business. I made my way toward Lyz.

I had just crested the grassy bank when Lyz held up her hand. “Don’t come closer,” she said. Something in her voice had changed. The cockiness was gone. “It’s soft here—really soft.” As if to prove her point, Lyz slid knee-deep. “Dammit,” she said again.

I held out my hand. “Take a step forward so I can reach you. I’ll pull you out.”

Lyz stretched out her arms for balance. “Good plan.” She yanked her right foot free—not without a struggle—and took the aforementioned step.
She reached for my hand, and we would have made contact if that one step hadn’t sent her plunging to her waist in the mire.

“Oh, shit!” Not her words. Mine.

Lyz was too shocked to say anything. The muddy flat at the bottom of my grass bank island wavered like a water bed. Lyz placed her palms on the surface, watching with a mix of worry and fascination as the ground quivered around her waist.

Then she found her voice. “It’s deep.” A redundancy at this point, but perhaps she felt the need to voice the obvious. Then, “Oh, fuck me, I’m going down.”

I stood rooted in place, transfixed, watching Lyz gently glide deeper into the bog. Neither of us said anything until the muck eased up her ribs. But that moment passed quickly, and Lyz broke the stunned silence with two soft words.

“Help me.”

My muscles finally caught up with my brain, and I lunged forward—mistake number one. Just as Lyz had a minute ago, my feet slipped on the wet grass. I fell. Not forward, in Lyz’s direction, but down the other side. My stomach hit the bank and the air drove out of me in a loud gasp. I slid down the bank and, to my dismay, felt my legs stick deep in the mud at the bottom.

I froze for a moment, waiting to see if I would sink as well. I didn’t, but I couldn’t pull my legs free from the muck no matter how hard I tried. On the other side of the little bank, Lyz held her arms clear of the bog. I couldn’t see the mud she was in, but I could tell it was sucking her down.

Her wide eyes and parted lips confirmed my fears, even before she put them into words. “I’m sinking.”

My mind raced. I couldn’t reach her anymore, but we still had options. “I’m stuck too,” I said. “Give me something to reach you with. Your shirt!”
Lyz nodded with a stiff lower lip. She yanked her arms free from her jean shirt, leaving her in the black tank top underneath. She slapped the sleeve on the bank.

Of course, I couldn’t reach. I said so, and Lyz’s face went white.

“Use your camera,” she said. “The strap’s pretty long.”

“I’m not ruining $1000 like that,” I said. “Try with the shirt again!”

Lyz leaned forward—her breasts pressed into the muck. “Fuck your camera, the bog’s taking me! I—ugh…” She gasped, her eyes turned down as her heaving chest disappeared into the mud.

I tried again to crawl up the bank, but the slick grass and the mud’s vice grip on my legs held me down. I swung my camera at Lyz’s shirt sleeve, hoping to hook it and pull it closer to me. That didn’t work either.

Lyz panicked. She threw her shoulders back, desperate to heave herself from the bog. “Unh, I can’t—can’t…ugh!” Her neck strained back and her chest thrust out from the quivering earth as she grasped and clawed at the reeds behind her. Nothing worked. She gave up and straightened. Her chest slipped back under, but she kept her arms clear of the bog.

Tears stung my eyes. I knew there was nothing I could do for her. She must have recognized the resignation on my face, because her eyes shot wide.

“No, Tara, please! Don’t let the bog swallow me. Don’t let it—ugh, I’m sinking! Save me. Save me!”

I wanted to—I had to. But I couldn’t. I could only watch in helpless torment as the bog sucked Lyz to her death. As her trembling shoulders sank into the muck, I lost sight of her face behind the grass bank.

Only her arm remained visible, ever tendon taut as a bowstring, her fingers clawing the air in raw desperation. Even though I couldn’t see the fear in her eyes, I could hear it in her voice. “I’m gonna die,” she moaned. The words stabbed at my chest like an icicle. “Oh god, Tara, I can’t see you. Help me. Help me! I’m—unh—I’m up to my neck! My chin.” She gasped and choked, each breath a labored cry. “No. Help me. No! I—I’m going! Ah—aah—aughh”

I slapped my hands to my ears, but I could still hear Lyz’s dying gurgle when the bog sucked her under. Her fingers raked the lip of the grass bank, then slipped and vanished.

Everything went still. Everything went quiet. Only my pounding heart made any sound. Then I cried for my friend.

I wasn’t sinking, but I didn’t trust the bog not to take a second victim, so I forced myself to crawl free of the mire. It was no easy task. The muck was reluctant to let me go, but in the end I found solid ground again. There, I collapsed, my chest rising and falling in ragged breaths. I didn’t dare press on alone through the bog, lest I fall prey to the morass as well. So I waited. Someone would come find looking, once they realized two people were missing from the group at the dock.

Of course, whoever came looking would only find one.

ghostofmyeyes
Posts: 104
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 3:07 pm

Re: Shortcut to Straight Down (qs/f/fatal)

Postby ghostofmyeyes » Thu Oct 06, 2016 7:04 pm

This is fantastic. I wish quicksand was played this scary more often.

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PM2K
Always Remembered
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Location: Eastern Ontario

Re: Shortcut to Straight Down (qs/f/fatal)

Postby PM2K » Thu Oct 06, 2016 10:20 pm

Nicely done! :D

Stephymink
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Re: Shortcut to Straight Down (qs/f/fatal)

Postby Stephymink » Thu Oct 06, 2016 11:45 pm

A wonderful tale. Thanks for sharing it!

MikeKK
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2010 1:06 pm

Re: Shortcut to Straight Down (qs/f/fatal)

Postby MikeKK » Fri Oct 07, 2016 11:29 am

Thanks guys :)

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Aiko
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Re: Shortcut to Straight Down (qs/f/fatal)

Postby Aiko » Fri Oct 07, 2016 7:15 pm

The sense of terror and utter helplessness comes across nicely. Impressive! :)
Visit me at the Great Swamp, but watch your step on the way there!


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