New member introduction

[JSample]

Hello, everyone. I am new to this forum and community. I am fifty-four years old. And I have a quicksand fetish.

In the context of this forum, my above admission may not seem to be that big a deal. But it is in fact a big deal for me. This is the very first time that I have ever admitted this truth about myself to any other person or group of people. If you will indulge me, I would like to share with you some details about my experience.

There are two things that I have known and recognized about myself since at least the age of four. The first was that I realized then that I "liked" girls in a way that I didn't like boys, although of course I didn't know why. This realization came thanks to my psycho-sexual makeup; I was and am indeed heterosexual in my orientation, although of course fifty years ago I had no concept of what that meant or would mean. The second realization was that I had an utter fascination with the idea of quicksand. This probably owed quite a bit to innumerable reruns of "Gilligan's Island" and various "Tarzan" and other jungle movies of the late 1960s. If I knew that a "quicksand" episode or movie was on TV, I would make sure to watch it, although I somehow knew that the rest of my respectable and moderately religious family probably wouldn't understand this fascination.

These two realities about myself, my quiescent heterosexuality and my fascination with quicksand, maintained their separate paths in my psyche until puberty hit at around age twelve, when my sudden new awareness of girls and women ran headlong into my quicksand attraction, immediately taking the form of my becoming especially fascinated with the idea of girls and women struggling and sinking in quicksand. I suspect that I am not alone among straight, male members of this community regarding this idea, if the number of quicksand video production companies represented in this forum is any indication. At the age of twelve, of course, I thought that I was the only person on earth who had such a fascination, that there was something "off" about my psyche, and I certainly never told anyone else about it.

Between the late seventies to late eighties, as I made my way through high school, college, and graduate school, I would occasionally indulge my fascination with women in quicksand by drawing pictures and writing stories about this topic. Some of the drawings were merely single images of a damsel in distress sinking helplessly into the mire (still my "go-to" theme), while others would take the form of a series of images that told a dramatic but predictable story. My few written stories covered this same basic topic, all for the sake of my own secret and very private enjoyment. I still never shared them or told anyone about them; as far as I knew, *no one* else indulged in these sorts of things. Unfortunately, those old stories and drawings no longer exist, having fallen victim long ago to alternating bouts of religious fervor or, more regularly, religious guilt over my not knowing how to reconcile these two apparently conflicting parts of my self-awareness. After my wife and I married and began raising a family in the early nineties, I left my penchant for secretly making quicksand drawings and writing quicksand stories behind. (I have long since left behind the religious guilt over this fascination that plagued me for so many years as well.)

I said above that I am a newcomer to this forum and community, and, in the official sense of my having recently created an account and now posting this message, that is indeed true. However, I have been lurking on the fringes of the online quicksand and WAM community for more than twenty years. In 1996 I discovered that I in fact was not the only one with a fascination for quicksand and for the idea of women in quicksand. "Kaol's Ol' Sinking Hole" was my baptism (or, shall we say, immersion) into the existence of a community of others on the Internet who shared the same general attraction, and as I perused pictures and stories on both Kaol's site and on others (there were others! Holy hyperlinks!) I realized that there were people out there who *really* shared the same fascination as I did. Case in point: I quickly discovered that the general themes of my old quicksand stories and drawings ("The Quicksand Adventures of Joyce and Anna" (don't ask me where I got those names)), which I had made when I was convinced that I was alone in this attraction, had much in common with stories and drawings by others that I was now seeing online (e.g., girls go camping, one falls in quicksand, the other tries to save her, she falls in too, they both sink slowly to their dooms, tearfully apologizing to one another before the end; or a variant form: girls go camping, both fall in quicksand, they realize they're not going under but are stuck, and end up making passionate love in the mud; etc.) (You guys sure you didn't see my stories and drawings back in the eighties?).

As I said, I've spent the last two decades on the periphery of this community, looking up drawings and photographs of... well, you know... and watching and occasionally buying clips and videos through Muddle Puddle Videos and Damsels in Distress Video Productions. While I still have not told my family and friends about this part of myself (and for various reasons it is indeed for the best for myself and for everyone else involved that I don't; I wouldn't have the slightest idea how to begin explaining this fascination to anyone who doesn't already share it, much less to my family), I have reached a point in my life where I have recognized the need to be in contact with others who understand this reality about ourselves.

For the time being I am participating here under the screen name of "JSample," which is nowhere near being close to my real name. Even my e-mail address here reflects an assumed profession. I have taken this approach not because I think that anyone here would try to "out" others in this community (I assume that for many if not most here, privacy and anonymity are just as important to them as it is to me) but because I don't want to publicly identify myself in such a way on a forum such as this that could result in my family, friends, and work associates stumbling across my participation here through random Internet searches. If I ever should reach the point where I feel ready to tell them about this part of myself, I would rather it be on my terms and in my own time.

I apologize for the length of this opening message, but as a new member with a fifty-year fascination with quicksand I thought that it would be appropriate to introduce myself, even if it's still a bit anonymous on my part. I look forward to discussing quicksand themes and interacting with others here who share this common interest. Thank you.

[nachtjaeger]

Welcome! You are definitely NOT alone here.

[JSample]

Thank you very much.

[PM2K]

I can attest to that. Welcome aboard.

[JSample]

Thank you.