I didn't like the existing definitions of "fetish" so I created my own.
I break "paraphillia" down into three levels; turn-on, kink, and fetish. I describe them like this:
Using women's high heeled sandals as an example-
Turn-on: A person sees someone wearing spike-heeled ankle strap sandals, and thinks "Mmm, nice!" Maybe sexy shoes become part of their fantasy life. Their partner walking into the bedroom in "hooker heels" might have the same effect as Viagra or watching P**n. But the person is still capable of having "vanilla" sex with no relation whatsoever to spike heels.
Kink: A person with a "kink" might only get sexually interested in a person wearing spike heels. They might request that their partner wear spike heels during sex, and might have trouble performing without fantasizing about sexy shoes.
Fetish: At this point, the shoes become the total sexual focus; the person wearing them is no longer necessary. This person focuses exclusively on women's high heels, perhaps even collects them, buys videos of them, etc.
Fred588 wrote:A closely related issue is whether or not use of the term "fetish" is correct. If a person finds quicksand sexually stimulating then it might be correct. However, there may be many people here who have different responses to quicksand. perhaps, for example, it is exciting but not in a sexual way. Also, the term "fetish" is interpreted by some as a form of illness. I believe the psychology community defines it as such only when its existence begins to interfere with one's ability to function. Others will see it as some form of problem that needs resolution. Openly acknowledging one's status in this regard is, I think, a way of telling those who see it as a problem that perhaps the problem is in their own mind.
