Quicksand Fans

I've been recently inspired by how a a personal ad for my fantasy quicksand playmate might read. Ever think about how you might put that together?

Straight White Male w minor quicksand fetish is seeking an attractive playmate for good times as quicksand damsel and for muddy manhandling. Appearance is unimportant beyond being a stunning large breasted beauty with Playboy proportions. Must be at least 5'8" with legs that go all the way down to the ground. Excellent breath holding and cooking skills a big plus.

Duncan Edwards wrote:I've been recently inspired by how a a personal ad for my fantasy quicksand playmate might read. Ever think about how you might put that together?

Straight White Male w minor quicksand fetish is seeking an attractive playmate for good times as quicksand damsel and for muddy manhandling. Appearance is unimportant beyond being a stunning large breasted beauty with Playboy proportions. Must be at least 5'8" with legs that go all the way down to the ground. Excellent breath holding and cooking skills a big plus.

I think I know a potential candidate. She's a half inch under 5'8" but can add about four inches by piling up her red hair. World class free-diver. Only a D cup, but can cook and owns a whole chain of profitable restaurants. Says she wants to do quicksand scenes but refuses to accept payment or even travel money.

Fred588 wrote:

Duncan Edwards wrote:I've been recently inspired by how a a personal ad for my fantasy quicksand playmate might read. Ever think about how you might put that together?

Straight White Male w minor quicksand fetish is seeking an attractive playmate for good times as quicksand damsel and for muddy manhandling. Appearance is unimportant beyond being a stunning large breasted beauty with Playboy proportions. Must be at least 5'8" with legs that go all the way down to the ground. Excellent breath holding and cooking skills a big plus.

I think I know a potential candidate. She's a half inch under 5'8" but can add about four inches by piling up her red hair. World class free-diver. Only a D cup, but can cook and owns a whole chain of profitable restaurants. Says she wants to do quicksand scenes but refuses to accept payment or even travel money.

Hell’s bells man! Tell her to get there and call me when she’s on the way.

Duncan Edwards wrote:

Fred588 wrote:

Duncan Edwards wrote:I've been recently inspired by how a a personal ad for my fantasy quicksand playmate might read. Ever think about how you might put that together?

Straight White Male w minor quicksand fetish is seeking an attractive playmate for good times as quicksand damsel and for muddy manhandling. Appearance is unimportant beyond being a stunning large breasted beauty with Playboy proportions. Must be at least 5'8" with legs that go all the way down to the ground. Excellent breath holding and cooking skills a big plus.

I think I know a potential candidate. She's a half inch under 5'8" but can add about four inches by piling up her red hair. World class free-diver. Only a D cup, but can cook and owns a whole chain of profitable restaurants. Says she wants to do quicksand scenes but refuses to accept payment or even travel money.

Hell’s bells man! Tell her to get there and call me when she’s on the way.

Did I mention she has an uncle named Sasha? She also mentioned someone who is an Admiral General, which sounds a bit unlikely.

Did I mention she has an uncle named Sasha? She also mentioned someone who is an Admiral General, which sounds a bit unlikely.

Family ties don’t matter much to me. I don’t want her to meet my family anyhow.

Straight White Male w minor quicksand fetish is seeking an attractive playmate for good times as quicksand damsel and for muddy manhandling. Appearance is unimportant beyond being a stunning large breasted beauty with Playboy proportions. Must be at least 5'8" with legs that go all the way down to the ground. Excellent breath holding and cooking skills a big plus.

I work in advertising. For a small fee, I can rewrite this to give it a bit more "punch" in terms of response-generation from your target audience. Well, now that I read it a bit more carefully, the fee might not be that small.

SabbieMobili wrote:For a small fee, I can rewrite this to give it a bit more "punch" in terms of response-generation from your target audience.

At one time, I WAS the target audience. Therefore, I feel knowledgeable enough on this subject to suggest one edit.

Replace the word "minor" with "major". The ad is only worth answering if she thinks she'll be in over her head.

Nessie

Nessie wrote:At one time, I WAS the target audience. Therefore, I feel knowledgeable enough on this subject to suggest one edit.

Replace the word "minor" with "major". The ad is only worth answering if she thinks she'll be in over her head.

Nessie

You're right. Would you proof-read all of my personal adds in the future? I thought about something like "must enjoy sex while fighting for your breath in a bottomless bog" but I didn't want to come across as a weirdo.

I'd love to see one from you.

Duncan Edwards wrote:You're right. Would you proof-read all of my personal adds in the future?

I will now wonder forever if you slipped that extra "d" into what should be "ads" just to make sure I answered.

I'd love to see one from you.

This was surprisingly difficult. But I'll bite. Now for truth-in-packaging:

A) Replying to this ad will get a man nowhere. I have aged out, and that's that.

B) This is the youthful me. Imagine fingers tapping on an old PC that boots up on two floppies and has no graphics capability whatsoever. No internet. Just needs and fantasies and no way to achieve them.

"White female seeks man" (no appearance specified) "between the ages of 25 and 45" (I was 35) "who would like to bust some serious acting chops in a bottomless pit of real quicksand. You are the man of a thousand sinking deaths. Creativity is mandatory. Video is optional...let me know your thoughts on that. Please send a photo anyway. I can pay some money and drive. This may be a recurring gig if we both have fun. Feel free to reply to this ad even if you are not seeking a relationship, for this isn't a request for one."

All I can say is, thank God for the quicksand community.

Nessie

Nessie wrote:

Duncan Edwards wrote:You're right. Would you proof-read all of my personal adds in the future?

I will now wonder forever if you slipped that extra "d" into what should be "ads" just to make sure I answered.

I'd love to see one from you.

This was surprisingly difficult. But I'll bite. Now for truth-in-packaging:

A) Replying to this ad will get a man nowhere. I have aged out, and that's that.

B) This is the youthful me. Imagine fingers tapping on an old PC that boots up on two floppies and has no graphics capability whatsoever. No internet. Just needs and fantasies and no way to achieve them.

"White female seeks man" (no appearance specified) "between the ages of 25 and 45" (I was 35) "who would like to bust some serious acting chops in a bottomless pit of real quicksand. You are the man of a thousand sinking deaths. Creativity is mandatory. Video is optional...let me know your thoughts on that. Please send a photo anyway. I can pay some money and drive. This may be a recurring gig if we both have fun. Feel free to reply to this ad even if you are not seeking a relationship, for this isn't a request for one."

All I can say is, thank God for the quicksand community.

Nessie

Ditto.