Quicksand Fans

Theo wrote:

Fred588 wrote:I believe this topic came up once before so I will give the same answer I did then, admittedly a rather flip answer: Every movie ever made that did not have a quicksand scene but did have at least one minute of footage done outdoors. Also, I don't think this has been done but there ought to be an episode of something like HBO's Real Sex in which a mud wrestling, porn shoot is interrupted by something that causes all the women to flee outside and fall into quicksand. Maybe its a nightmare of sorts.

Err...ok I'll take my medicine now.

Who says it has to be outdoors? (perhaps; a future story?) Yeah I figured someone already did this but alas, I’m much too lazy to go back and read through thousands of topics. And that was also my first thought, but then I thought, if every movie had a quicksand scene, I might get bored with it after a while. However, like Barney Rubble once said in reference to staying in Rock Vegas with all the dancing girls: “But it’s nice to think about!”

It would've been cool if HBO's Real Sex did a spot on their show with you or one of the other quicksand producers. I remember they did one with people having sex in mud out in the desert that was good, but still, not the same as sinking.

And I'm never on my meds

I was called a couple of times a longtime back by a producer in Sweden who was doing episodes of a show I think was along the lines of Real Sex. They wanted to come here and film something but they wanted to come in April. Its COLD here in April. Anyway I got the impression they really wanted to exploit things they thought were strange so I decline interest. This was the year following the episodes filmed here for the Weather Channel and here and elsewhere for VICE Media, and also the interview for RadioLab.

Fred588 wrote: I was called a couple of times a longtime back by a producer in Sweden who was doing episodes of a show I think was along the lines of Real Sex. They wanted to come here and film something but they wanted to come in April. Its COLD here in April. Anyway I got the impression they really wanted to exploit things they thought were strange so I decline interest. This was the year following the episodes filmed here for the Weather Channel and here and elsewhere for VICE Media, and also the interview for RadioLab.

I remember seeing something from VICE, but what did you do for the Weather Channel and RadioLab? Be interesting to see those.

Theo wrote:

Fred588 wrote: I was called a couple of times a longtime back by a producer in Sweden who was doing episodes of a show I think was along the lines of Real Sex. They wanted to come here and film something but they wanted to come in April. Its COLD here in April. Anyway I got the impression they really wanted to exploit things they thought were strange so I decline interest. This was the year following the episodes filmed here for the Weather Channel and here and elsewhere for VICE Media, and also the interview for RadioLab.

I remember seeing something from VICE, but what did you do for the Weather Channel and RadioLab? Be interesting to see those.

The bit for Weatherchannel was actually produced by an independent outfit and broadcast by Weatherchannel. It was a piece supposedly on the science of quicksand. The actually had a professor of physics from somewhere who stood about knee deep in the pit I had with actual, albeit artificially driven, sand and explained the physics to the viewer. The RadioLab thing was just an interview (audio only) bout what quicksand is. All three (with the Swedish one being a potential fourth) were within a year of each other. I suspect they all watch each other and steal ideas.

A different year there was also a group of four MFA students from a major university who used my clay pit for four days to male a rather avant guarde short film. Most of it featured from one to four people at a time in the clay with wigs on backwards to cover their faces and breathing through tubes hidden below the surface, slowly rising, turning, and sinking. They had me running their cameras at 2AM on the last night while all four of them were in the mud. I understand their film was featured in shows at the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art in New York, and at similar institutions in Chicago and Tel Aviv. They gave it the title "The 588 Project." What it was really about is anyone's guess.

The most recent I can think of that really missed the mark is Mad Max Fury Road. The scene where the War Rig gets stuck in a swamp and and all of Immortan Joe's escaped harem girls jump out to help push had me so on edge....come on.....one of you wander off and start sinking.......oh no wait the Albino guy who likes eating spray paint figured out the winch we're saved! DAMMIT

Yeah I guess the real answer is "Any movie that doesn't have one." Another way to look at would be all the missed opportunities that we've cataloged here before. If I had to pick just a likely candidate for one that the scene would have fit and made the movie better it would have to be one or all of several opportunities involving Julie Strain. Most of the Epic schlock bomb flicks produced by Andy Sidaris had swamp or island locations with some fabulous ladies who occasionally met untimely ends. Enemy Gold, Return to Savage Beach, The Dallas Connection, and a host of others could easily have fulfilled my fantasies for a lifetime if Julie Strain, Shae Marks, Julie K. Smith, had sunk into a Louisiana swamp instead of being shot or blown up.

Another, and I use the term lightly, "movie" that would have been remembered the world over to this day if it had the right quicksand scene - Queen of Lost Island also starring Julie Strain. The most redeeming parts of this plotless exercise involve Julie running around topless waving a big sword. Not that any of that is bad but it would have been a golden chance to make the movie about something island like if Julie had been waving her sword as she disappeared nude into a very deep bog.

Even without categories involving Julie Strain I could make this an endless list.

Mynock wrote:The most recent I can think of that really missed the mark is Mad Max Fury Road. The scene where the War Rig gets stuck in a swamp and and all of Immortan Joe's escaped harem girls jump out to help push had me so on edge....come on.....one of you wander off and start sinking.......oh no wait the Albino guy who likes eating spray paint figured out the winch we're saved! DAMMIT

Agreed. In the category of missed opportunities it probably ranks as closest to a busload of cheerleaders as we'll ever see.

Someone pitch this to a Roger Corman type:

1. Open with an evil warden discussing one last prisoner to take to the jungle prison. It is revealed by the conversation that the prisoner is innocent and has been framed.

2. Follow with a tour around a sort of holding pen to show all prisoners. Text overlays list the crimes each has committed, show each (except the one mentioned) is beautiful but very guilty and aggressive.

3.Immediately follow as prisoners are loaded onto a broken-down-looking bus.

4. Several minutes on the bus showing various prisoners and also the driver, who is drinking heavily.

5. Driver passes out. Bus veers off road into enormous bog. Prisoners escape the bus but not the bog. Some go under. Some reach shore. Innocent prisoner reaches shore. One or two guards reach shore (all female, of course). Driver goes under still passed out behind wheel.

6. The rest of movie is a series of vignettes following various prisoners, pairs of prisoners, and female guards as they flee in all directions.

7. Movie ends as the innocent prisoner reaches civilization, naked and covered with mud (she sinks to her hair before finding a root). She is the only survivor.

8. Alternative ending and set-up for a sequel: The innocent prisoner is now the new warden, loading up another bus. She is asked someone abut overcrowding at the prison, but replies "not a problem."

Gotta win an Academy Award.

Anaconda (1997) J.Lo versus Big Snake, Kari Wuhrer along for the ride.

Anaconda.jpg

Anaconda (1997)

Fred588 wrote:Someone pitch this to a Roger Corman type:

<snip a lot of good stuff>

Gotta win an Academy Award.

I always wanted to be a Roger Corman type. And I already wrote just about that same script. Wish I had his money.

I calculate about 150G to pay about 20-25 models for two-days each, purchase an old bus, dispose of a muddy bus, dig and fill about eight pits, hire a backhoe to dig the pits (or a giant pick machine and an explosive expert to do it at my studio), hire a bus-sized machine to extract and haul away the bus, pay the heavy equipment operator to keep his mouth shut, and rather large hotel bill. Anyone here want to part with that much?