Venison! (not for the squeamish)

[nachtjaeger]

Hey gang! Had to run down to the convenience store tonight. On the way back up the hill, I saw a car pulled over with its flashers on. So I stopped to see if I could help. The poor lady had hit a deer. She was fine, her car was still driveable. But the poor deer wasn't so lucky. Good sized doe. She was paralyzed, and trying to drag herself away by her front legs, without much success. Rather than wait on the police, I decided to put her out of her misery. She stirred once when I walked up to her, and twitched once when I put my hand on her neck and said a brief prayer for her spirit. But when I gave her the coup de grace she didn't even flinch- I think she died just before the blade touched her neck.

Anyway, to make a long story no more painful, the lady who hit the deer and her husband didn't want the meat. The nice police officer gave me a tag, and the husband and I dragged her up to the road and loaded her into the back of my Forester. It took the two of us- she is not a small deer. So it's now almost 10 PM and I have a deer to deal with. My first time field dressing a deer. Okay, our ancestors did this with stone tools, I've studied how it's done- how hard can it be? You folks who have done this know what I was up against. So, I have her on the ground, and have just made the first cut when I hear a chorus of yips and howls. Good news: my neighbor hasn't exterminated the local Eastern Coyote pack. Bad news: they're in my north woods, and CLOSE. Crap! Went and got my Lady Wife and the dog, just in case I needed to scare them off, but they apparently had found their own dinner. So, back to the unpleasant process of turning a beautiful forest creature into roasts and chops. Not as easy as I imagined- everything is connected to everything else, and. . . eww. Suffice it to say that despite my inexperience and unexpected squeamishness, I managed to get the deer's insides outside, while keeping what's inside the insides inside. Fun anatomy lesson- never got to dissect a critter in biology class. And yeah, when I finally got the heart out, I had to hold it up over my head and do the caveman "RAAAAAARRRRRRRH!" for my Lady Wife.

The toughest part was hoisting her up out of reach of the Coyotes. Must have been the friction of the tow strap I used against the branch, but it was all I could do to get her off the ground, much less up in the air any distance. She can't be that heavy!

Tomorrow I either take the deer to a butcher, or take the whole day off and butcher her myself. That I have done before, but it was a little spike buck my Father-in-law shot from the bedroom window. "Doezilla" is going to be a LOT of work. I just have to keep thinking of roast venison, venison stew, venison sauerbraten, my venison teryaki, etc.

[Duncan Edwards]

Take it to somebody who knows what they are doing if convenient or be prepared to waste a lot deer. The the bigger they are the worse it gets. You didn't cut any intestines and that's the real thing to avoid. (Phew!) Might be a fun learning experience but be prepared to have coyotes checking out wherever you do it for days.

[Mynock]

Nice timing. Can't beat a freezer full of free meat. You can do the same in PA just call up the game warden and report it and they'll let you keep the deer (they take any sizeable antlers though so no fair aiming for that 8 pointer and gunning it haha).
There's no good way gut one of these things lol......if you got the organs out without puncturing them you did it right. The two things you REALLY don't want to hit are the bladder (nothing like a face full of warm dead deer piss) and the stomach......I don't know what unholy kind of chemistry goes on inside Bambi's stomach but holy shit do the contents stink. Only time I ever puked was when I nicked the stomach lining of one.
Agreed with Duncan, unless you really know what you're doing take it to a professional, you'll get more of a return that way. We have our guy do the heavy duty stuff and then we take the rough cuts home and make our own sausage, hamburger, jerky, etc.

[claykid]

worked in a processing plant for over 15 years, 6-8 people would cut up between 900-1000 deer every hunting season. I could skin a deer in 15 minutes by myself and cut it up by myself in less than an hour. hope you dont wait too long to process your deer, they will start rotting really quickly if temps are above freezing. people dont realize you cant let these things hang outdoors all day out in the sun and expect the meat to be ok.

[nachtjaeger]

Good news- my neighbor is an avid hunter, and does all his own butchering. So we're going to cut it up in his garage. Plenty cold enough to keep the meat fresh up here on the hill!

[PM2K]

Good news- my neighbor is an avid hunter, and does all his own butchering. So we're going to cut it up in his garage. Plenty cold enough to keep the meat fresh up here on the hill!

Congrats! Nothing makes good neighbors than sharing in fresh game and good fortune.

Reminds me of a time years and years ago when I was still in high school and had a paper route. One of my customers was successful in his hunt and got himself a moose (I lived in Northern Ontario then) and butchered it in his kitchen. I was dropping the paper off and had to look twice as It looked like a murder scene in there... and he rather sheepishly admitted maybe it wasn't the best place to do it. Anyway, he couldn't fit the whole moose into his freezer, and rather than waste it offered me the remainder - a mix of steaks and ground meat. Once I finished my route I asked my father and he said "you bet!" so our family ended up with some 30 pounds of prime moose meat. The fellow knew how to butcher game, that's for certain.

My family never hunted ourselves, but had lots of friends who did, so when the season was right, we always had some game meat to enjoy.