Quicksand Fans

I lost yet ANOTHER Amazon package to theft on Monday. Today I officially I declared war on this asshole.
*cue MacGyver theme song*
1. Funnel fill heavy latex party balloon with two bottles of Liquid Ass fart spray.

2. Pressurize with water till it fits snug in an old Amazon box.

3. Add double sided tape to inside box flaps, so balloon surface sticks to the lid when closed (this should ensure detonation even if the thief is careful when cutting the tape)

4. Seal with packing tape. For added effect put a "Fragile: Electronics" sticker on it.

I left this bouncing baby shit bomb on my porch this morning, went riding all day, came home and.......GONE. I'm just picturing the son of a bitch opening this in his living room or in his car and I can't stop smiling. Your move, scumbag.

Only thing missing was a camera to upload his experience to YouTube.

I thought about putting the go-pro up on the roof or something but I didn't want THAT stolen too. Some of the neighbors are putting in security cameras but I hate the idea of having to do that.

I love it. That’s as good as the time I filled my lunch w nastiness for the bully who didn’t know that I knew he was stealing it out of my locker. He didn’t do that again.

I would suggest you follow up just to measure the ability of this dope to learn.

Try this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv2h-csnlps

I feel your pain. I haven't had anything stolen yet but that, actually, is why I mostly refuse to shop online. I do have a package coming now, though, since it couldn't be gotten any other way (knock on wood, and I have somebody who can watch for it).

I guess the alternative is to let Amazon into your HOUSE. I am not ready for that.

If this doesn't work, perhaps you have a neighbor with a big dog...you could ask to poop-scoop.

There must be some solution somewhere...like a sturdy metal box that is bolted to your house and locks when Amazon closes the lid?

Nessie

Nothing I lost was expensive, and Amazon is really great about resending stuff when this happens (probably because it was inexpensive). When I order anything pricy I either have it dropped off at my parents house or try to get it sent by USPS with signature needed, both are just a few minutes from home for me and make picking it up easy. The other alternative if it has to go FedEx or UPS is to pickup at their receiving centers but that's a longer drive.
And yea, the digital doorbell thing? Lets not even go there. Nope.
I've been thinking of some kind of box idea but I can't think of a way for the delivery person to lock it after they deposit the goods.
What I SHOULD be able to do is just come home, and retrieve my stuff from the porch without incident.......

I believe I have seen some products offered that consist of a heavy box designed to be bolted to the floor or wall. These appear to have a system whereby the delivery person enters a number previously provided by the home owner. I have not seen any equipped with any sort of alarm that would go off in the event of tampering. I suppose if one had a few fake "breathing holes, one could put a recording of a hissing snake inside. Or, depending on where one lived, it could be labeled with something such as "biohazard drop off" but hat assumes the their can read.

Mynock wrote:Nothing I lost was expensive, and Amazon is really great about resending stuff when this happens (probably because it was inexpensive). When I order anything pricy I either have it dropped off at my parents house or try to get it sent by USPS with signature needed, both are just a few minutes from home for me and make picking it up easy. The other alternative if it has to go FedEx or UPS is to pickup at their receiving centers but that's a longer drive.
And yea, the digital doorbell thing? Lets not even go there. Nope.
I've been thinking of some kind of box idea but I can't think of a way for the delivery person to lock it after they deposit the goods.
What I SHOULD be able to do is just come home, and retrieve my stuff from the porch without incident.......

I’m sure much of it depends on where you live. I I have a friend living in small town Tennessee who left the country and allowed boxes to accumulate on his front porch for weeks until I could retrieve them.

I always have everything delivered to my office where there is always someone available.

Here at Studio 588 the only theft problem would occur if a package contained something edible, or that smelled edible. The little masked thieves are also vandals, however and like to tip over the trash containers just to make a mess. I can go for weeks here without a human being dropping by (except in the video season, of course) and when someone does come by they are usually selling religion or driveway repair services of some kind. Most of the "people" who come into the yard have names like Yogi, Bambi, Rocky, and Wascal E.

Duncan Edwards wrote:I’m sure much of it depends on where you live. I I have a friend living in small town Tennessee who left the country and allowed boxes to accumulate on his front porch for weeks until I could retrieve them.

I always have everything delivered to my office where there is always someone available.