I just don't know anymore...

[nachtjaeger]

Radium,

I dug up this poem I wrote back when I was standing more or less where you are:

Invictus

And so we meet in battle, it and I.
It, the Demon of Black Despair,
I, he who stands alone.
But my sword of truth is broken at the hilt,
my shield of valor riven in twain,
and my armor of chaste, clean strength crack'd and dented.
Even now, his venom'd claws seek my flesh,
his dread black sword seeks my heart-
and yet I do not yield.

[nachtjaeger]

Scarol,

I wish I could introduce you to my buddy "Jim." He had more than a few mental and physical challenges he had to get past. But he did. He WORKED on his speech, he WORKED on getting into top shape, he WORKED to do well in school and get into college. The girls in our school thought of him as a "Loser", "Geek", "Freak", etc. etc. He never had a date in high school.

He met a really gorgeous and awesome girl in college, married her, they've got a whole pack of kids, and are really happy. If you met him today, you'd never know what he was like when he was young.

[Scarol]

Hi Nessie and nachtjaeger and wackypackcolonel,

Thanks for explaining about my past , and yes maybe it isn't impossible to get a girlfriend in the future while i'm autistic.
Maybe I have to wait for that time to get a girlfriend, and Nachtjaeger thanks for your story about your buddy.
With that story I can learn things for myself, that girls can call a boys like "Geek", "Freak" but even these boys can get a gorgeous girl.
And what about stuttering to a girl? My dad says that stuttering boys are indecisive, is that true?
Because when I'm nervous or uptight i'm stutter a lot, and I'm affraid if im stutter to a girl that she laughs.
But when I'm relax I have stutter a bit.

[Fred588]

Perhaps this may be helpful:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stutte ... ION=causes

Hi Nessie and nachtjaeger and wackypackcolonel,

Thanks for explaining about my past , and yes maybe it isn't impossible to get a girlfriend in the future while i'm autistic.
Maybe I have to wait for that time to get a girlfriend, and Nachtjaeger thanks for your story about your buddy.
With that story I can learn things for myself, that girls can call a boys like "Geek", "Freak" but even these boys can get a gorgeous girl.
And what about stuttering to a girl? My dad says that stuttering boys are indecisive, is that true?
Because when I'm nervous or uptight i'm stutter a lot, and I'm affraid if im stutter to a girl that she laughs.
But when I'm relax I have stutter a bit.

[Nessie]

No -- your dad is not right about stuttering. He is wrong. Totally.

Stuttering boys do definitely stutter. But that is all.

Stuttering does not mean anything else. It does not mean you're stupid. It does not mean you're indecisive. You have a small physical impediment -- you stutter -- and that's all. I have a nephew who stutters. He too stutters worse when he is nervous. But he got a girl. They didn't marry but there is a son, so I know very well that he scored. He also opened a construction business. I have another relative who has some kind of muscle disorder and because of it, his speech is slow and slurry. He's married. He is an accountant. He is a very smart man, but it is hard to understand him.

In a scene from the 13-part miniseries, "I, Claudius", Claudius is responding to people who don't want him to become Emperor because he limps and he stutters.

"Is not what a man says more important than how l-l-l-l----"

(Claudius slams the arm of his chair in frustration...throughout this entire series he too has always stuttered when he is nervous...and what's more nerve-wracking than facing a whole room full of people who think you're stupid and DON'T want you?)

"LONG he takes to say it?"

All it really means to be a geek is that you're not one of the "cool kids". But because geeks aren't spending all their time on being popular, they often become very successful later.

By the way, I was a school geek. Definitely a geek. Only one date in all of high school. I couldn't get a boy when I was young to save my soul. I never achieved any coolness until I got out of that place.

That's not my fault, though. It's because the kids at school thought all the wrong things were very, very important. Like cool clothes...cool trends...perfect skin and hair...and God forbid you should like to read books more than go to rock concerts!

Nessie

[Duncan Edwards]

There's a woman out there for everyone. I'm living proof.

I have a friend who is a very functional autistic guy. He has a good job, a wife, two kids, and a house near mine. Yes, his situation presents certain challenges in life but he never let it keep him from trying things he was interested in. He's a bit socially awkward but also wickedly funny at times. He's a nice guy who tries hard and takes care of his family and that's what really matters. Therein lies a lesson that applies to us all -

One thing that matters more to women than anything else is security. If you go all the way back to their innermost cavewoman they all crave physical, emotional, spiritual, security. Can I count on this guy? Will he be a good provider? A good dad? This is why guys don't cry, don't complain or whine about small stuff, go out and get jobs, carry guns, etc. If you bring more problems to the relationship than you solve you are not promoting her emotional security. You have to be at least something of the rock that she can count on. You are the breadwinner, the one who gets up when something goes bump in the night, the one who listens to her. I discovered that the coolest ladies man in high school who grew up to drink and pull on women's ears all the time never has a successful relationship. She doesn't want to hear about your problems because if you are afraid then so is she. Those of us who leave the cave every day, kill something and drag it back, then take at least a moment to ask how she is doing, are the ones who score the most in the long run.

Women in general are very charitable, patient, and understanding. Cover the basics and the rest will take care of itself eventually.

[Scarol]

I readed the story's and I must say feel happyer now, .
In fact it isn't worse when a boy stutters, and I previous week I stared lessons with an speech therapist.
Shel learns me to control my speech with good breathing, and these lession are really interresting and I learn a lot of it.
But stil, I will be hard for me to talk to a stranger.
But these times will also come.

[Scarol]

By the way, Fred, nice information about stuttering. Thanks!

[Nessie]

Shel learns me to control my speech with good breathing, and these lession are really interresting and I learn a lot of it.

I got a feeling that Shel can help you more than anybody in the whole world who only THINKS they know why you stutter.

As for clubbing dinner over the head...way back in cave man days, how well a cave man spoke was not a make-or-break issue on survival.

All this smooth-talking thing is a modern invention. Today we smooth-talk our way into careers at totally modern events called job interviews and we smooth-talk people of the opposite sex into becoming our mates during this complicated psychological dance that's called "dating".

But back in the cave days? The most successful cave men were the ones who knew when to keep their mouths completely shut.

Dinner had legs. And it had ears.

And if it heard anything weird, like a hairy guy with a club talking to himself, it ran away.

Nessie

[Scarol]

Shel learns me to control my speech with good breathing, and these lession are really interresting and I learn a lot of it.

I got a feeling that Shel can help you more than anybody in the whole world who only THINKS they know why you stutter.

As for clubbing dinner over the head...way back in cave man days, how well a cave man spoke was not a make-or-break issue on survival.

All this smooth-talking thing is a modern invention. Today we smooth-talk our way into careers at totally modern events called job interviews and we smooth-talk people of the opposite sex into becoming our mates during this complicated psychological dance that's called "dating".

But back in the cave days? The most successful cave men were the ones who knew when to keep their mouths completely shut.

Dinner had legs. And it had ears.

And if it heard anything weird, like a hairy guy with a club talking to himself, it ran away.

Nessie

Sorry, my mistake . It's not Shel, but "she" like "she is" you know.
Shel is a spelling mistake.