Quicksand Fans

Im sorry im posting this but I just feel I really need to rant and let out my feelings one way or another and what better way then to the only people that have never let me down... Im so sick of life and its endless disappointments! My life sucks horribly! I can never amount to anything according to my parents, I can't find a job for the life of me, and my only skill that I seem to have is being taken advantage of and used... I try so hard to please everyone but its never enough, people promise me things and never keep them, and I can't believe anything anyone says to me anymore... Im looking for reasons to still want to wake up in the morning but to no luck. I know Im still young but there's a limit for everyone and I've about reached mine... If anyone could please help me by saying something, anything to stop this negative mind set it would be greatly appreciated...

Hmmmm,

Raidium, sounds like you're in a real funk. I'm fairly new to this forum hence my screen name but based on your rant I offer the following observations and possible solutions:

"I'm sick of life and it's disappointments" The Buddhist's have a saying, "In life there is pain, it is inevitable, suffering is optional", stop suffering. When you find yourself in a negative place, be it in your own mind or perhaps by something that somebody has said or done to you, dive into what you are passionate about. I'm not sure but I think based on what I've seen here your's is art. Just go for it, bury yourself in it. Creativity in our culture is OFTEN frowned upon and sometimes downright despised, be creative anyway. Take out your frustrations with your art. Express your feelings with a pencil, brush or whatever medium floats your boat.

"my life sucks horribly, I can never amount to anything according to my parents" I'm not sure how old you are but when I was younger, late teens early 20's I got the exact same speech from my parents as well. Rule #1, just because somebody says something about you, doesn't make it so. It will only become your reality if you allow it to and by the way that's a HORRIBLE thing for a parent to tell a child, EVER!!!

"and my only skill that I seem to have is being taken advantage of and used... I try so hard to please everyone but its never enough" Stop trying to please other people. Others will only take advantage of you if you allow them to. I've been guilty of this my whole life, it's the programming I received as a child. Please YOURSELF first. We are taught that this is "selfish", quite the opposite is true. You will NEVER make others happy until you are happy yourself, it's just one of life's universal laws.

"Im looking for reasons to still want to wake up in the morning but to no luck." You CAN wake up in the morning, that's reason enough. You're in self-pity mode at the moment and I'm not saying that with any judgement whatsoever, I don't even know you, but based on what you've shared here it's sticking out like a sore thumb. Believe me, there is ALWAYS somebody worse off than you.

I won't take up space here in the forum but if you'd like to email me I'll share what the last 3 years of my life have been just so you have something to compare your situation to.

NTT2

Raidium wrote:Im sorry im posting this but I just feel I really need to rant and let out my feelings one way or another and what better way then to the only people that have never let me down... Im so sick of life and its endless disappointments! My life sucks horribly! I can never amount to anything according to my parents, I can't find a job for the life of me, and my only skill that I seem to have is being taken advantage of and used... I try so hard to please everyone but its never enough, people promise me things and never keep them, and I can't believe anything anyone says to me anymore... Im looking for reasons to still want to wake up in the morning but to no luck. I know Im still young but there's a limit for everyone and I've about reached mine... If anyone could please help me by saying something, anything to stop this negative mind set it would be greatly appreciated...

Well hell, I'm 47 and I can't count the number of times I felt just like you. When I was your age I was pretty much destined for failure too, or so I thought, but life is a good teacher if you give it a chance. I never dreamed I would never have Forrest Gumped my way to things I never dreamed possible. Without any great plan I've managed to -

Be a complete screw up in high school at sports and academics, break my foot, lose girlfriends, go broke, wreck my car, lose track of friends, say really stupid things, get stomped by a horse, make a complete fool/ass/idiot/social retard of myself many times, suffer heartbreaking emotional pain, dissapoint my mother who still reminds me, have more than one career, and on and on.

Shake hands with four Presidents and four astronauts, have more than one career, sit in a hot tub with a naked porn star, run a marathon, see the Pyramids of Egypt, spend a wild night with an Irish art student I met on the Spanish steps in Rome, help National Geographic shoot a quicksand documentary, watch shooting stars through the hair of my girlfriend, buy a new '86 T-Bird, climb a desert peak with a best friend I met on the internet so we could get help for a boatload of beautiful women, get lost in Honduras while trying to photograph a beautiful rainbow, buy a house, fall in love more than once, go to college more than once, learn what my grandfather meant, see Elvis, wave to George Harrison while stuck in Carl Perkins funeral procession, chat with Debbie Harry on her bus, sell Johnny Cash a video camera, celebrate weddings and births, mourn at funerals, get married, change careers, finally get a good pair of roller skates, and best of all become a father. All of this and so much more I never would have thought was possible when I was in my early twenties. Most of that didn't happen until my forties. Life isn't made out of instant gratification so don't expect it. It all comes about with the simple act of getting out of bed every day and trying.

All of that is very real but now let's get practical -

You don't have to have your entire life figured out yet. Just what you are going to do in the next five minutes.

Pleasing everyone is great but try pleasing yourself first. It makes the rest much easier.

You have no real problems. You are a young man living in a free democracy. You know where your next meal is coming from and you aren't sick. You can obviously read and write pretty well so you have some education. Much of the world would be happy to trade places with you. Don't expect much pity from them.

Need a job? Get anything and work your way up. You don't have to like the work, just getting paid. You won't do it forever but do the best you can and don't leave it until you have something better. There will always be something better.

Get a haircut. Trust me.

I may sound like any other guy my age but there's a reason for that. We're right and we know it because we've been there.

Your life likely doesn't suck, its just life. Get out of bed tomorrow and get busy living it.

Thank you both so very much! I guess when I wrote this earlier today, I was in a pretty bad rut but its only cause I let Everything get to me today. My dad called me a dumbass, My lawnmower broke while mid mowing, got into a huge fight with my gf, my niece destroyed the house, couldn't meditate due to how noisy it was from the farm equipment outside, then I tried to play some Call of Duty MW2 and my Xbox red ringed... I then went into my room, slammed the door, took out my laptop and wrote this cause my mind was just pressed on negativity but yeah, your both very right! It shouldn't matter what others say about me. Im my own person and its about time I start living like it! Im 21 so yeah, I don't really have my life figured out but I don't need too! Im going to College for Computer Programming so I do have something to look forward too! Im gonna wake up 2moro, take a deep breath, and tell myself its a brand new day cause lifes how you make it. ^_^

I got to tell ya Duncan, Im very jealous of your life! You seemed to have done quite a bit for yourself and I can only admire that! But you did all that stuff cause you believed you could which I can show nothing but respect for! In fact, if you don't mind, I would like to use that list as a challenge and set myself a goal to try and best that by your age! Im still young which means I still have a whole hell of a lot to look forward too!

Again, thank you guys so much for being there for me! I cannot begin to describe how life changing its been to be a part of a community like this that is so wonderful and understanding! I feel as if I can rely on you guys for anything! ^_^

Hey, Radium, that's what friends are for. And sometimes it takes a friend who's not too close to really open up to.

I know where you're coming from. Back in '88 I'd had to drop out of college, had no job, no girlfriend, no money, was living at home (with Mom. . .'nuff said), no prospects, no future. I came darn close to taking the easy way out and running my car into a brick wall at 100 mph. Seriously. I was sitting there with the car lined up, and I had taken off my seatbelt. (No airbag, either.)
That winter I got in with my current employer. A year later I had a hot girlfriend. The next year I had a permanent job with benefits. In October of '91 I met the woman of my dreams. It took me 22 years of scratching and clawing and crawling and lots of pain and disappointment to get where I am today, and it's not any place I ever planned on being, but here is pretty good. When I get frustrated, I look back and realize that things aren't that bad.

My Lady Wife had it even worse- she came pretty close to starving to death at one point. 1970 to about 1982 REALLY sucked, economy-wise; worse than today.

Moral of the story: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary set of problems.

Remember the people who never gave up. George Washington. Thomas Edison. The Wright Brothers. Hubert Schmendrick. What, you never heard of Hubert Schmendrick? That's right. He gave up.

Raidium wrote:Im going to College for Computer Programming so I do have something to look forward too!

?!

If you are good at THAT, you could be making a pile of money someday. And you can keep your hair.

I know this guy who hasn't cut his hair in, like, 30 or 40 years, and it just hangs down his back, thinning out and graying more with every decade, but never, ever short...and the executives in that button-down suited office have tried to make him cut it off dozens of times but that guy won't snip off even a lock of hair, and they can't get anybody else to do what he does so they just have to look at it...five days a week...

Even though they hate it.

Computer programming is one of those jobs that not many people can do. Give it 35 more years and this could be you.

Nessie

Raidium wrote:
I got to tell ya Duncan, Im very jealous of your life! You seemed to have done quite a bit for yourself and I can only admire that! But you did all that stuff cause you believed you could which I can show nothing but respect for! In fact, if you don't mind, I would like to use that list as a challenge and set myself a goal to try and best that by your age! Im still young which means I still have a whole hell of a lot to look forward too!

Again, thank you guys so much for being there for me! I cannot begin to describe how life changing its been to be a part of a community like this that is so wonderful and understanding! I feel as if I can rely on you guys for anything! ^_^

You do have a lot to look forward to. None of that stuff in my list was planned. It's just the kind of little stuff that happens to you if you give it a chance. The point is that you never know what will happen so don't deny it the chance.

Glad to help a bit but we're well meaning strangers on the internet. Rely on yourself.

My mom called me every kind of failure in the book. It's just a parental thing because they think they can help you to see the error of your ways. It's not fun but be glad they care. I swear they really do. Someday you'll be the father of the grandchild and that gets you off the hook for lots of things.

I'm pretty young myself (25) but I definitely agree with what everyone else has said. Even the haircut comment, as I had shoulder-length hair when I was in college.

Remember that nothing is ever permanent. Stay on your feet, and when you get knocked off of them, get back up.

If all you've got to worry about are arguments, a messy household, uncooperative machinery and a lack of silence, you're doing pretty damn good in the grand scheme of things.

Chin up man. It gets better sooner or later. Electronics and girlfriends come and go. Both are easy to replace if they get too bitchy. As long as you keep trying the job thing will take care of itself eventually. After college I went through a roughly 2-3 year period where all I could find was temp work. Half the time when I got up in the morning I didn't know wheather I would still be employed when I went to bed. Eventually I got my foot in the door with a decent company and now it's been 4 1/2 years and I'm senior guy in the department. Things can and will turn around real quick.

im 50 years old after some medical problems and a divorce and the loss of jobs i felt like you one day i decided that this was really a fight and started to fight back whitch allowed me to turn things around recently i was at the doctore and mentioned these feelings of uselesnes and hopelessnes and he was able to help so if you have a doctore see him or go to an emergency room or public health center and tell them how you feel but remember to hang in there you can beet this try to resist or fight the bad things in you life and enjoy the good when it comes and it will come
efs1845