Quicksand Fans

DangerGirl wrote:childhood trauma.jpg

Love this.

As always, the best parody has a grain of truth in it and a lot of these might have been found in my early, very non-pc, childhood. How many times did I escape death with my Chemistry set? It featured fire, toxic substances and corks in test tubes.

Duncan Edwards wrote:As always, the best parody has a grain of truth in it and a lot of these might have been found in my early, very non-pc, childhood. How many times did I escape death with my Chemistry set? It featured fire, toxic substances and corks in test tubes.

Chemistryset.jpg

Yeah, it's really hard to find toys with the same coolness and danger values we had in our toys. Sadly, I don't think it's possible to raise kids the way we were raised back in the day.

DangerGirl wrote:

Duncan Edwards wrote:As always, the best parody has a grain of truth in it and a lot of these might have been found in my early, very non-pc, childhood. How many times did I escape death with my Chemistry set? It featured fire, toxic substances and corks in test tubes.

Chemistryset.jpg

Yeah, it's really hard to find toys with the same coolness and danger values we had in our toys. Sadly, I don't think it's possible to raise kids the way we were raised back in the day.

It's not. I tried. Short of letting the Taliban raise them, the culture of the day is piped directly to their brains and overwhelms most everything. They'll survive but each generation is becoming flimsier, more fragile, more risk averse. If Elon Musk doesn't get us off this rock pretty soon we're gonna die here.

Duncan Edwards wrote:

DangerGirl wrote:

Duncan Edwards wrote:As always, the best parody has a grain of truth in it and a lot of these might have been found in my early, very non-pc, childhood. How many times did I escape death with my Chemistry set? It featured fire, toxic substances and corks in test tubes.

Chemistryset.jpg

Yeah, it's really hard to find toys with the same coolness and danger values we had in our toys. Sadly, I don't think it's possible to raise kids the way we were raised back in the day.

It's not. I tried. Short of letting the Taliban raise them, the culture of the day is piped directly to their brains and overwhelms most everything. They'll survive but each generation is becoming flimsier, more fragile, more risk averse. If Elon Musk doesn't get us off this rock pretty soon we're gonna die here.

Yeah, absolutely. I had Mattel pistols and replica Winchester rifles, all plastic, that actually shot spring-loaded plastic bullets. We used to have battles in our basement. I don’t think it warped me - I have never owned a real firearm as an adult, although I might. I have never shot anything but targets and soda cans, all on a range. Can you imagine any company making toy guns like that today? They would be sued in every state, and the CEO would be prosecuted.

I also used to say, “Hey, Mom - I’m going out to the woods to explore, I’ll be back for dinner.” Poor old Mom would be hauled in by Child Services for neglect now. Maybe it really is more dangerous out there nowadays, but it’s kind of a shame to remove that spontaneity from childhood.

Duncan Edwards wrote:

DangerGirl wrote:childhood trauma.jpg

Love this.

As always, the best parody has a grain of truth in it and a lot of these might have been found in my early, very non-pc, childhood. How many times did I escape death with my Chemistry set? It featured fire, toxic substances and corks in test tubes.

Chemistryset.jpg

Pretty sure they gave you real cadmium and other toxic elements LOL

Not everyone escaped their own stupidity way back when. My Mom was a nurse and saw many cases of fatal stupidness. Every winter there was at least one and often more cases of drownings when teenagers, almost always male, seemed to think if they skated really fast they could go right across the thin spots on the pond. Every July 4, and Memorial Day, there was at least one cases of a teenager blowing out his own teeth with a firecracker, and several cases of severe burns from much the same thing. And there was a girl in my town, about a year older than me, who cut a corner while driving, apparently to avoid skidding off the outside curve, but forgetting there was a three-foot diameter tree on the inside corner. Since then, the town put up a skating rink, increased enforcement of rules on fireworks, and cut down the tree.

Lots of hilarious stuff on here "Childhood Trauma Edition"

Fred588 wrote:Not everyone escaped their own stupidity way back when. My Mom was a nurse and saw many cases of fatal stupidness...

I can relate to this as I also have a family member in the medical field who's had the privilege of meeting many Darwin award recipients, and I've got to hear many a stories of stupidity.

Theo wrote:Lots of hilarious stuff on here "Childhood Trauma Edition"

Fred588 wrote:Not everyone escaped their own stupidity way back when. My Mom was a nurse and saw many cases of fatal stupidness...

I can relate to this as I also have a family member in the medical field who's had the privilege of meeting many Darwin award recipients, and I've got to hear many a stories of stupidity.

My father-in-law was a physician who worked a rural emergency room for a while after returning from Vietnam. He refused to let my wife have a motorcycle as a result of that. I managed to visit the twilight zone and wreck my bike while imitating Evel Knievel. Not an uncommon occurrence at the time. As for fireworks, firearms, just plain fire, we frequently tested Darwin's limits. We sent one friend to the burn ward on morphine while making an "atomic bomb firecracker" one day. His eyesight was saved by his coke-bottle thick glasses. We created dangerous toys without much help really. All before we were old enough for more lethal playthings like cars, drugs, and girls. The culture didn't give much thought to it.

Duncan Edwards wrote:My father-in-law was a physician who worked a rural emergency room for a while after returning from Vietnam. He refused to let my wife have a motorcycle as a result of that. I managed to visit the twilight zone and wreck my bike while imitating Evel Knievel. Not an uncommon occurrence at the time. As for fireworks, firearms, just plain fire, we frequently tested Darwin's limits. We sent one friend to the burn ward on morphine while making an "atomic bomb firecracker" one day. His eyesight was saved by his coke-bottle thick glasses. We created dangerous toys without much help really. All before we were old enough for more lethal playthings like cars, drugs, and girls. The culture didn't give much thought to it.

The term "donorcycle" has come up many a times for us too.

I haven't had too many stupid moments with vehicles per se, except maybe the time I tipped a tractor, but that was more due to over confidence and ground erosion. Probably the most stupidest most "Darwinesque" thing I ever did was when I was in my single digits in both age and IQ, and decided to see what would happen if I poured water into a outlet with a metal bowl no less. Lucky for me, it was a GFI outlet and tripped instantly.

My Darwin Award was denied by Physics.

I was ten when I discovered my favorite sinking spot, and still somewhat believed the idea that quicksand was a deadly bottomless pit, with no escape except for conviently hanging jungle vines or ropes tossed to you just in the nick of time.

So I'm riding my BMX bike around the sand quarry, take an acess road I never took before, and roll up on the settling ponds. Mind. Blown. All this time a football field sized deathtrap had been residing almost literally in my backyard.

What would happen if I fell in? Would I be dragged screaming into the depths of the earth? The science books said no but MGM said yes. There was only one thing to do.

Without any more fucks given I waded in far beyond reach of anything solid, and sank to my chest. It was the first of many, many sinks, and it was fun......but part of me was really disappointed when I didn't sink any deeper.

In that moment, alone and in a place where no one would've heard me scream, I never gave a single thought to what I would've done if it DID keep sucking me down.