How blond is she? ;-)

[YerK]

Just a rough example each on the degrees of blondness:

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles
from here!' and hung up. The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'

So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'

The blonde replies,'Oh, that's easy .. it's W.'

FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US
Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision
George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,
and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde
ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come
home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do
they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'

[quagmire_uk]

To be honest, the "sixth degree" one doesn't really work because it is quite a clever response to that question.

I've no idea what the REAL answer would be as I don't know much about US history, but I don't think I'd be able to improvise a snappy response like that.

[Duncan Edwards]

You obviously never met my middle sister who thought the US Civil war began when the blacks bombed Pearl Harbor.

(I swear I'm not making that up.)

[kham]

Well, at least she didn't say the Germans

[bbjohn]

You may have heard this joke, which could serve as a follow-up to the Degrees of Blondeness:

Q. What has brown hair. is black and blue,and lies in a ditch?

A. A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

Big Bad John

[YerK]

A somewhat dated, G-rated blond joke:


Q: What do you call a blond in a black leather jacket?


A: "Rebel Without a Clue"

[jagfiles]

Here's one:
Why did the blonde go to the post office 10 times in one day?
Her computer kept saying "You've got mail."

[Mynock]

A blond is driving down the road when she looks to her left and sees another blond sitting in a rowboat, in the middle of a cornfield, working the oars furiously through the air. The Blond in the car pulls over, gets out, and says to the blond in the boat "What the hell are you doing?!".
The blond in the boat smiles and replies "Nothing, just rowing my boat in the ocean."
The blond from the car gets angry and says "You know, it's blonds like you that give all of us a bad name! If you weren't so far out in the ocean I'd swim out there and kick your ass!"

[nachtjaeger]

A blonde goes into a shoe store in Florida to buy a pair of Alligator shoes. When the salesman tells her the price, she gets very upset, and insists she will get her own. On his way home, the salesman sees the blonde's car parked by a swamp. He looks, and there is the blonde, up to her breasts in a swamp, holding a shotgun. A huge 'gator is swimming straight towards her. Boom! She puts a 12-gauge slug through its head, killing it instantly. She grabs the 'gator, and with much pulling and struggling drags it through the muck to shore. She rolls it over, and screams "Damn it! This one isn't wearing shoes either!"

[jagfiles]

Here's one:
A guy comes across a blonde waistdeep in quicksand and offers her help out which she says yes to. He also asks "Have you been in it long?"
She replies " Actually I been in the quicksand like half an hour and only am up to my waist. What's so quick about quicksand."