Quicksand Fans

Not knowing the age of the board members, I thought some of you may have only discovered Brinke due to her quicksand videos and would like to check out some of the films that made her famous. Since Brinke has been my favorite actress for over two decades, I thought I would offer some recommendations about Brinke’s best work. Plus, this will give me an excuse to watch the movies again, and I’m always looking for a reason to re-watch the beautiful Brinke! Don’t hesitate to share your own Brinke favorites if you’re a long time fan like I am.

Fortunately, I was in college when the Scream Queens were at the height of their popularity (late 80s/early 90s) and I think almost any guy who was a teenager in the 1980s knew who Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer were. Back then, Brinke was known as the cleanest actress in Hollywood because she took so many cinematic showers. Isn’t it ironic that she became known to a new generation of fans for quite possibly being the dirtiest actress in Hollywood in her quicksand/mud fetish videos?

If there is some interest in the thread, I’ll try to cover a movie a week, and also offer some “fetish” info by mentioning Brinke’s scenes that conformed to a particular fetish. (And just because I mention the fetish, doesn’t mean I have it.) If you have a particular fetish, don’t be shy about posting, and I’ll try to let you know of a movie that features a scene playing to that fetish. No promises, because it has been a while since I’ve watched some of these, although they are all in my collection. Make sure to post if you like the thread, because, obviously, I don’t want to continue it if there isn’t any interest in it.

Haunting Fear

Trailer:
http://www.artistdirect.com/video/haunting-fear/55874

Brinke plays a housewife who is haunted by nightmares of being buried alive. Brinke’s husband, played with sleazy aplomb by Jay Richardson, hatches a plan with his murderous mistress (Delia Sheppard) to frighten Brinke to death. The movie also stars Jan Michael Vincent, as a mysterious man who spies on Brinke’s house and Karen Black as Brinke’s psychiatrist.

Of all the movies that she has made, Brinke considers Haunting Fear to be her favorite and her best acting performance. She starts off as relatively normal and has gone completely insane by the end of the movie. I can’t think of any other actress who can play psychotic as well as Brinke does. While the movie does have a pretty old plot, Brinke’s excellent performance really makes for compelling viewing and keeps the viewer interested. [Spoiler alert: I think Haunting Fear was the earliest movie with this plot where the wife actually takes her own revenge. HF deftly sets up Jan Michael Vincent to be Brinke’s rescuer, as he would have been in most of the movies, but pulls a twist on both his character and Brinke’s. I have seen at least one other movie with the same plot that followed Haunting Fear’s ending, but HF came out first. That movie starred Heather Locklear in Brinke’s role and Emma Samms in Delia Sheppard’s. The name of it escapes me at the moment, because I only saw it once about 15-20 years ago. (Hey, Heather and Emma just aren’t in Brinke’s league for me). Haunting Fear came out before that movie. Of course, the plot about using nightmares to frighten one’s spouse to death dates back to at least the 1960s.]

While he has a reputation as a B-movie hack and a “quickie” director, Fred Olen Ray knows how to craft a B-movie and give the audience what it wants. The only real flaws in HF are an obviously fake head during a stabbing sequence and Karen Black’s whole role in the film, which seems to have been tacked on so she could be included since she was a “name” actress back then. The sequences with Black really slow down the pace of the film, plus I’m sure that the majority of the audience HF had was due to Brinke’s presence. HF was a pretty popular film on pay cable during my college days and was always the film that I loaned to anyone who was curious about Brinke.

Of course, HF’s main flaw would be expecting us to believe that someone lucky enough to be married to the absolutely gorgeous Brinke would even look at another woman, much less cheat on her. Hey, you’re just going to have to have a willing suspension of disbelief to enjoy the movie, because, if he didn’t cheat on her, we wouldn’t have had a movie.

Unfortunately, HF was only on DVD for about 5 minutes and then pulled from the market. Since the HF DVD is such a rarity, out-of-print copies are quite costly. Also, HF was edited on DVD. The previously mentioned “gore head” sequence was cut, and the DVD itself looks like it was sourced from a well worn VHS recorded in SLP mode. For those of you too young to remember VHS technology, VHS tapes could be recorded at one of three speeds. Recording in SLP gave you a longer recording time but the quality greatly suffered. My advice is, if you still have a VHS player, skip the DVD and buy a used VHS. Be forewarned that some copies of Haunting Fear were recorded in SLP mode and try to get one of the ones that were recorded in SP mode for better quality. I really wish a good quality DVD of the movie would be released so that someone who discovered Brinke after the “Scream Queen” hey day would have a chance to enjoy one of her best films. The VHS technology segment is included as a free history lesson for you young whippersnappers.

Fetish alert: Brinke is topless three times in the movie, and there are several other topless girls as well. Also, for anyone who has a foot fetish, there are several nice, lingering close-ups of Brinke’s bare feet in the movie and it is probably the best movie to see her barefoot. BTW, if you do have a fetish for Brinke’s feet, I should definitely recommend Studio588’s Scarlet Streak video. There is a very sexy bit where Rachelle Williams treats Brinke to a muddy foot rub.

Next Up: Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama

I think this is a great idea for a thread. While I'm here I'd like to nominate a Brinke performance that I'm sure you will get around to discussing. Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity features Brinke only for the first part of the movie but the mark her performance made on me was substantial. If it wasn't for this moment in the movie it might never have been condemned by Senator Jesse Helms as "indecent". (It really was) I remember seeing this and getting that same feeling I had watching Barbara Steele scream her lungs out while tied to a post in some old Hammer horror flick.

Here is the scene I nominate for "best naked writhing space babe chained to a torture table" - Brinke Stevens as "Shayla" in Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiv1y46uqjo

Slave Girls will definitely get a mention. It was one of two DVDs I bought before I ever got a player, just to make sure it didn't go out of print before I got a copy!

As for the Jesse Helms thing, the way Brinke has told the story in the past, a mom and her son caught a glimpse of it flipping through the channels and were suitably traumatized. I guess they complained to him.

Thanks for the kind words. As I said, I'll keep the thread going as long as there seems to be an interest in it.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama

Three nerds are caught spying on a sorority initiation, and, as punishment, have to help steal a bowling trophy with a couple of pledges (Brinke and Michelle Bauer). When the group arrive at the bowling alley, they meet Spider (Linnea Quigley), a thief who is robbing the mall. During an argument with Spider, the bowling trophy the students were planning to steal is opened and releases an imp, who promises to grant each one a wish....only the wishes turn bad.

Before you watch this movie, be forewarned. It isn’t for everyone. SB was a perennial on both USA Up All Night and Joe Bob’s Drive-in Theatre. It was the cult-movie-du-jour when I was in college, and everyone I know who has seen it either loves it or hates it, with no one in the middle about it. If a movie had a tongue, SB’s would be planted quite firmly in its cheek. Also, I can’t imagine anyone that didn’t grow up in the 1980s enjoying this movie, because I don’t think I ever seen a movie that SCREAMS 1980s at you quite as much as SB does.

Personally, I always thought the director, David DeCoteau, was BY FAR the worst of the 80s most prolific B-movie directors (Fred Olen Ray, Jim Wynorski, Andy Sidaris), but SB may be my favorite B-film of all time. DeCoteau has mentioned in several interviews that he was drunk through most of the filming. If that is the case, he always needs to get drunk when he is directing, because SB is head and shoulders above anything else he’s ever done.

SB is almost the perfect B-movie. It crackles with great one liners like, “It’s too bad we had to kill her. I really liked that outfit she had on.” There are also great dialogue exchanges like the following. Calvin, one of the nerds and Spider are locked in a janitor’s closet with an imp possessed co-ed trying to kill them:

Spider: I need a weapon!

Calvin hands her a broom

Spider: What do you want me to do? Clean her to death!

Calvin hands her a gun

Spider: I wonder what they clean with this? (This line was poorly recorded, though, and I didn’t catch it on the first viewing.)

What is there not to love about SB? You have a great performance by B-movie staple George “Buck” Flower as the hard-of-hearing janitor; you have action, humor and one of the most beautiful trio of actresses ever gathered for one movie (Michelle Bauer, Linnea Quigley, and, of course, our own beautiful Brinke.) For those of you not familiar with B-movies, having such B-movie royalty in one movie is sort of the equivalent of Elvis, the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin getting together to record an album.

Flaws: Well, to be honest, Brinke really doesn’t have a very good role. She is mostly there to shower, look beautiful and get killed. However, tough girl Spider, played by Linnea Quigley, may be my favorite female character in any movie....which is why Brinke and Linnea should have switched roles. While Linnea was cute-as-a-button back in the 80s, she really isn’t much of an actress. I’ve seen her deliver a few good performances, and this is one of them, but Brinke is by far the better actress. If Brinke had gotten to play the tough girl, SB would be unchallenged as my favorite B-movie. Plus, I think Brinke is the most beautiful actress I’ve ever seen, so, obviously, I think she is more beautiful than Linnea.

Also, considering how gorgeous the female cast is, the movie is pretty darkly lit. While that helps with the atmosphere, I think most of us guys would have liked a better view of the ladies. Finally, I’ve heard some fans complain that, while Brinke and Michelle supplied plenty of eye-candy nudity, Linnea Quigley doesn’t do any. Since there are plenty of other movies to see Linnea nude, that fact that she remains clothed here doesn’t bother me too much, although she was quite lovely back in the 80s, so seeing her do a nude scene in SB would have been a nice addition.

Fetish info: Most of the internet conversation I’ve seen on SB concentrates not on the movie itself, but the scene where Brinke and Michelle are paddled as part of the sorority initiation. At the risk of being sleazy, I can understand someone wanting to spank Brinke. After all, Celebrity Sleuth ranked her #18 on their list of best celebrity butts of all time (which I thought was about 17 places too low, but I digress). I really don’t get the deal with the paddle, though. Anyway, the scene offers a nice view of both of their panty-clad behinds, and they are both barefoot during the scene.

Brinke has a nice long shower scene that really shows off just how physically flawless she is. I think this is my favorite nude scene that she has ever done, although I must admit, I have a special fondness for it because it was the first time I got to see her nude. The first two Brinke movies I saw were edited for television. Michelle Bauer is also nude during this scene and later at the bowling alley.

There are several girl vs. girl fights.

Over my years of being a Brinke fan, I discovered there is a fetish called “hand gag” which is when a woman puts her hand over someone’s mouth. I think Linnea does this to Calvin a couple of times in the movie, but since I’m kind of clueless on this, I may not have it right. (Not judging, I just don’t want anyone with the fetish to be disappointed with the movie.)

Here is the trailer. I started not to include it, because this is one of the WORST trailers I’ve ever seen for an entertaining movie. How can you have such a gorgeous female cast and not show their faces in the trailer? Plus, the Imp has a different, quite irritating voice in the trailer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3yZKHdIqZo

Fan made clip that serves as a better overview than the trailer. Plus, you can hear the imp’s actual voice here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWzo1RynsyU

And finally, the much discussed paddling scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INkgMZvwnJk

Next: Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (since Duncan already mentioned it, I know it has at least one other fan on the board besides me.)

Slave Girls from Beyond Infintity

Two slave girls (Elizabeth “Vice Academy 3-6” Cayton aka Elizbeth Kaitan and Cindy “This is the only movie I’ve ever seen her in” Beal) escape from an space ship and crash on a nearby planet. On the planet they meet a brother (does anyone really care who any of the guys are?) and sister (QS favorite Brinke Stevens) whose ship has previously landed on the planet. Brinke and her brother reveal that the other members of their ship seem to have disappeared. Mysterious host Zed, who I think has to be Christian Bale’s illegitimate father, eventually reveals his sinister side and plots to hunt the girls down in an interstellar version of The Most Dangerous Game.

As Duncan mentioned, Slave Girls was condemned on the floor of congress BY NAME by Senator Jesse Helms.

Fetish Info: If you are in to tough girls, as I am, Slave Girls is the film for you. Elizabeth Kaitan rips chains in two, fights men and monsters, and survives a pretty severe electric shock and a several hundred foot plunge off a cliff. As with Sorority Babes, I wish Brinke had gotten to play the tough girl, because, of the six actresses (Brinke, Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer, Julie Strain, Monique Gabrielle) who worked the most steadily in B-films of the late 80s/early 90s, I thought Kaitan was BY FAR the worst actress, although I didn’t find her the least attractive. As I’ve stated, Brinke was the best actress of the bunch and would be my pick for the most beautiful as well.

Also, Slave Girls may be the only B-film of the 1980s where all three female leads have beautiful, natural breasts. While I can still find a woman with implants beautiful (see Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer in the Sorority Babes post), I think natural breasts are always prettier. Both Kaitan and Beal are topless in the film. There is only a brief glimpse of one of Brinke’s nipples, in the scene that Duncan shared in his previous post, but you can see there is a nice slow pan up Brinke’s flawless body.

Other fetish info: All three girls are chained up at least twice, for anyone into bondage. All three girls spend a lot of the movie barefoot, although, since I have a bit of a foot fetish myself, I have to admit that Cindy Beal has very ugly feet. I really didn’t mind, though, because she is pretty from the ankles up. All three girls spend most of the movie very scantily clad. See the Slave Girls pic I posted for an example of their outfits.

Starting in the 1970s, the actresses in B-movies always seemed more beautiful than their mainstream counterparts. You will never see a cast as good looking as Slave Girls in a mainstream film. That said, the cast of Slave Girls isn’t as beautiful as the cast of Sorority Babes. Nightmare Sisters is the only movie that has a cast as beautiful as Sorority Babes, and that is because it has the exact same three female leads.

To be honest, I always thought Elizabeth Kaitan was a butterface, but Slave Girls is the most beautiful I’ve ever seen her look. She is probably best known for Assault of the Killer Bimbos, which mainstream Hollywood would rip-off a few years later in the oscar-winning Thelma & Louise. I didn’t really like Bimbos or Thelma and Louise. I think the best Elizabeth Kaitan movie I’ve seen besides Slave Girls was probably The Nightclub. (Hey, I’m a Brinke fan. What am I doing recommending Elizabeth Kaitan movies?)



Here is the tralier:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKMPpkjIxsE


This is supposed to be the whole movie, but, since it is youtube, I’ll bet it is the censored USA Up All Night Version.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSda0O583J8

You can find the uncut DVD for under $10, and it would be worth that just for the eye-candy even if the movie wasn’t entertaining. However, the movie is entertaining. My choice for funniest scene is when one of the robots decides he would rather watch Cindy Beal skinny-dip than go about his duties and the other robot chastises him about that.

Flaws: Well, I don’t see why Brinke had to have a brother. Why not give us another pretty girl? After all, it isn’t Slave Girls and a Guy from Beyond Infinity? He does have a love scene with Elizabeth Kaitan, but, to be honest, wouldn’t we all have rather seen Elizabeth make love to Brinke instead of her brother?

Grandmother’s House

I can’t really say much about this one without giving away too much of the plot. It has a lot of twists and turns. Normally, I don’t like movies where children are the protagonists, but I didn’t mind as much, here, because the movie was suspenseful and well-done.

I think this is probably Brinke’s best acting performance. In spite of, or perhaps because of, the fact that she has very little dialogue, Brinke is very eerie and unnerving. Be forewarned, Brinke’s role is very divorced from her normal, sexy image.

The movie also stars Len Lesser, who is better known as Uncle Leo on Seinfeld.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx_k2y0lJIo

Screaming in High Heels

A documentary that offers a look at the direct-to-video boom of the 1980s VHS error and three of its biggest stars (Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer). This may be especially informative for those of you who weren’t around then. I know that Brinke is proud of the film. It does finally offer some respect to the Scream Queens. I think every guy who grew up in the 1980s had a crush on at least one of the Scream Queens. Brinke was always my #1 favorite.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zeh9W6KKX1Y

The Naked Monster

One of Brinke’s funniest comedies, although you may have to have some B-movie knowledge to get some of the jokes. The film began as a short film called Attack of the B-Movie Monster, but additional footage was shot over the several years to expand it to a full length movie. Of course, Brinke never seemed to age, so you can’t really tell the difference. The pretty 1956 Thunderbird in the movie actually belonged to Brinke at the time of filming.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B36I-wTc6uU

Since the thread hasn’t generated much of a response, these will probably be my last recommendations, although Brinke certainly has more entertaining films on her resume that are worth viewing. All of the films I mentioned in this post have been released on DVD.