Quicksand Fans

This morning I had to peel the skin off a pear to remove some bad spots. It occured to me that if there had been two of them and if I was a domestic servant in a foreign country then the event would have been an au pair paring a pair of pears.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers?

Silly sister Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore?

How about this one from a Johnny Carson "Dragnet" parody from 1968: "Claude Cooper the kleptomaniac from Cleveland who copped the copper clappers kept in the closet"?

I have enough trouble saying "Red Ribbon Week" each year.

I should mention that "Dragnet" parody from "The Tonight Show" is believed to be the only "Dragnet" parody Jack Webb ever participated in. It was amusing watching stone-faced Sgt. Joe Friday trying to keep a straight face.

-Big Bad John

and pray tell, kind sir, what obviously intoxicating substance did you partake of prior to making that observation?

Try this one about two brothers named Dudley Doodly and Diddly Doodly:

Dudley Doodly didn't do what Diddly Doodly did. And Diddly Doodly didnpt do what Dudley Doodly did. Antyhg that Dudley Doodly did do, Diddly Doodly didn't do. And so on.

Fred588 wrote:Try this one about two brothers named Dudley Doodly and Diddly Doodly:

Dudley Doodly didn't do what Diddly Doodly did. And Diddly Doodly didnpt do what Dudley Doodly did. Antyhg that Dudley Doodly did do, Diddly Doodly didn't do. And so on.

To this, I can only say, "D-uh!"

-Big Bad John

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A flea and a fly flew up in a flue. Said the flea, "Let's fly!" Said the fly "Let's flee!" So, the flea and the fly flew out of the flue.

(courtesy of George Takei) "All the religion he had had had had no effect on his life."

How about
There was once a man on his way to Saint Ives. On his way he met a man with seven wives. Each wife had seven daughters. Each daughter had seven cats. Each cat had seven kittens. Now how many were on their way to Saint Ives?

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Just one.


Or try this...
Can you name all of the current United States Presidents that are still alive?
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How many did you say?
Well the correct answere is ONE since there can only be ONE CURRENT President at a time. All the rest are FORMER Presidents.

Very clever. But, can you name how many animals of each kind Moses put on the Ark?

jagfiles wrote:How about
There was once a man on his way to Saint Ives. On his way he met a man with seven wives. Each wife had seven daughters. Each daughter had seven cats. Each cat had seven kittens. Now how many were on their way to Saint Ives?

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Just one.


Or try this...
Can you name all of the current United States Presidents that are still alive?
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How many did you say?
Well the correct answere is ONE since there can only be ONE CURRENT President at a time. All the rest are FORMER Presidents.

Give us a hint. Are pears aninals?

nachtjaeger wrote:Very clever. But, can you name how many animals of each kind Moses put on the Ark?

jagfiles wrote:How about
There was once a man on his way to Saint Ives. On his way he met a man with seven wives. Each wife had seven daughters. Each daughter had seven cats. Each cat had seven kittens. Now how many were on their way to Saint Ives?

<>
<>
<>
<>
Just one.


Or try this...
Can you name all of the current United States Presidents that are still alive?
<>
<>
<>
<>
How many did you say?
Well the correct answere is ONE since there can only be ONE CURRENT President at a time. All the rest are FORMER Presidents.