Baron Von Schlong vs. Ultravixen and Gyna-Girl

[stevensenechal]

Baron Von Schlong vs. Ultravixen and Gyna-Girl

Evil supervillian Baron Aardvaark Von Schlong emerged from the shadowy recesses of his subterranean lair to gloat over his two captives. Superheroines Ultravixen and Gyna-Girl were trapped nipple-deep in the Baron's quicksand trap and continued to struggle as Von Schlong approached, a look of fiendish glee contorted his rather ugly face, making him seem doubly evil and perhaps four times as villainous. His expression, which he spent long hours in the mirror actually practicing, had the desired effect as the two heroines recoiled at his approach.

"What the fu...holy shit Von Schlong, don't sneak up on us like that you sick bastard! You nearly gave us heart attacks!" cried Ultravixen, slowly settling deeper into the quicksand. "Na ha ha!" crooned the Baron, "Now I have you my feckless feline femme fatales! You won't escape me this time! Na ha ha!"

"And stop using alliteration Aardvaark, it makes you sound more stupid than you are, if that's possible!" chimed in Gyna-Girl. "And what's with the laugh? Na ha ha! It sounds stupid too!"
"It makes me sound European and everyone knows supervillains with European accents are more evil than their more provincial American counterparts! Na ha ha! See! At least five times more evil than 'Har har har!' or 'Tee he he!' Von Schlong pointed out. "You buxom bimbos know nothing of the intricasies of true supervillainy!"

"Clearly." droned Ultravixen flatly. She was beginning to worry as their efforts to extract themselves from Aardvaark's quicksand trap were going nowhere. Also, the pit had a 'sticky' feel as was beginning to give off an unpleasant odor. She decided to keep Von Schlong preoccupied by querying him on his fiendish plot. He always enjoyed talking about his stupid plans and rarely shut the fuck up for even an instant. "This quicksand stinks!" she pointed out accusingly to the Baron who still stood over them with that idiotic look on his face.

"Oh yes, my apologies as mere quicksand would have been odorless and this is not mere quicksand but rather a special 'brew' I have cocked...er...cooked up just for your enjoyment!" Ultravixen groaned inwardly as clearly the idiot was going to spend hours elucidating on his own genius but her plan to distract him was working. "Oh? For 'our' benefit Von Schlong? I never knew you to do anything altruistic, perhaps sadistic, but never for anyone's benefit but your own!"

"Na ha ha! That's where you are clearly wrong today my pretty pernicious pair!" Von Schlong 'clearly' had not gotten the message about the alliteration. "This particular pit of quicksand is composed of 80% quicksand and 20% semen courtesy of yours truly! Na ha ha!" There was a moment of silence. Both heroines stared alternately at the nutbar then the quicksand, not quite sure they had heard the Baron correctly. "Did you say semen?" They gaped. "Why yes I did!" quipped the Baron cheerily, "It was ALOT of work but the pit is 20% Von Schlong! You see, when one gets to be my age one starts to reflect on one's life, one's achievements, one's legacy as it were. One begins to feel a sense of one's own mortality and begins to long for something permanent."

The girls had listened to the Baron with a mixture of awe and incredulous horror. "What the fuck! We're sinking in your spunk? Why?" The Baron rolled his eyes as if further explanation were irrelevant but decided to show a benevolence as befit the happy occasion. "Why to impregnate you of course! You see, with my superior genetics, dashing good looks and genius level brain coupled with your 'fiesty' little DNA, we should produce some interesting little supervillains together!" The superheroines blinked in disbelief at the madman. "You bring new meaning to the title of Whackjob!" squeaked Gyna-Girl who began franticly struggling to free herself from Aardvaark's smelly ejaculation. "Stop! You're sinking deeper!" cried Ultravixen.

"Na ha ha! I guess we'll get to see if Gyna-Girl spits or swallows." laughed von Schlong with fiendish glee. " Struggle all you want my lovelies, you're just making it easier for my superior sailors to 'swim to channel' as it were." Ultravixen realized the Baron was right; "Stop struggling, you're just making things worse!" "But I can feel my panties getting soaked!" cried Gyna-Girl in dismay. Gyna-Girl had stopped struggling but she was now almost shoulder deep in the smelly ooze. Ultravixen looked around for something to grab but Aardvaark had clearly ensured that nothing was so conveniently at hand.

She watched the madman with growing trepidation as he retrieved some sort of stand from the shadows and began affixing a device atop it. The Baron hummed merrily, apparently pleased with himself as his nefarious liason was going quite well. Gyna-Girl noticed he was preoccupied as well and queried; "Now what Aardvaark you sicko? Some kind of laser or something? " The Baron finished setting up the device and turned to face the heroines. "Ta Da!" He had set up a video recording device and apparently was intent on filming the proceedings. "Nooooo!" cried Gyna-Girl "You would'nt dare film us!" Von Schlong smiled; "But I thought I would make some home movies to show the little ones, you know, how we first met, our first date...et cetera."

"Ahhhhhhh!" screamed Gyna-Girl "This could end up on U-Tube! My friends could see this!" Ultravixen grimly realized her companion had lost it and it was now solely up to her to get them out of this predicament. "The lighting in here is terrible Aardvaark ! This is certainly no Studio 588!" she decided to try another tact. "Yes yes.." groaned Von Schlong, annoyed at the gall of the super sluts for their unappreciative demeanor, "..and I suppose I'm no Frederico Fellini as well?" he queried. "No, definitely not." Ultravixen said flatly. "But perhaps I have an idea which even your tiny little brain might appreciate?"

"Oh?' asked Von Schlong, sufficiently confident to be amused by her proposition. "Do tell...."


To Be Continued

[Viridian]

That was certainly an original concept Nicely written!

[nachtjaeger]

This was by far the most offensive QS story I have ever read. Well done!

[quagmire_uk]

That was both bizarre and brilliant!

[jack c]

Out of the ordinary, but nicely done, nonetheless.