Re: No. 8 Part 2
Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2019 8:45 pm
Thank you so much for reposting the last part, as well as posting a new part. This story had me on the edge of my- well, actually, I was just edging. It seems to me, at least in my experience, that someone's first quicksand story has a bit of a shine to it; my first story was amazing, but the next few were rough until I got more practice. This story was well written.
Just a few things to note: when someone is thinking dialogue, usually thoughts are put into single quotes. Not sure if that's industry standard, something I was taught, or personal preference though. Also, in the end of the last part, it said they had much more to do on day 2. I was wondering what they were going to do, but eh, fair enough, it's not necessary.
However, let me tell you something right now: you have potential. Sure, there might be typos here or there, but when you really try, you make amazing work. I hope you enjoy yourself in this community, and make the most of what you have.
Just a few things to note: when someone is thinking dialogue, usually thoughts are put into single quotes. Not sure if that's industry standard, something I was taught, or personal preference though. Also, in the end of the last part, it said they had much more to do on day 2. I was wondering what they were going to do, but eh, fair enough, it's not necessary.
However, let me tell you something right now: you have potential. Sure, there might be typos here or there, but when you really try, you make amazing work. I hope you enjoy yourself in this community, and make the most of what you have.