New story (first one in a while)

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[goolems
Posts: 27
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:03 am

New story (first one in a while)

Postby [goolems » Wed May 18, 2022 10:39 pm

Hi all,

I know some of you gave kind words last time I posted a story here, so I thought I would do the same again this time around. This one took me a few months, given the business of life these days, but I have to say I'm quite proud of it, so I hope you like it too! Let me know what you think: https://www.deviantart.com/goolems/art/ ... -916455828

- Goolems

Sinker
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jan 22, 2022 11:58 pm

Re: New story (first one in a while)

Postby Sinker » Sat May 21, 2022 9:22 am

Can you put the story here instead of linking it or is to big?

[goolems
Posts: 27
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:03 am

Re: New story (first one in a while)

Postby [goolems » Sat May 21, 2022 8:17 pm

Lane slapped her book shut, pushed herself up off the couch with a sigh, and padded into the kitchen for a mug of tea, her slippers making soft “pfht-pfht” noises as she walked over the tiled floor. Her fiancé Daniel was already in the kitchen fixing himself a snack of tea and crackers.


“Good book?” He asked. “You’ve been reading all day.”


“Eh, it’s alright. I mean, I think it’s good, but it’s not anything new.”


“Yeah? What’s it about?”


“It’s all this stuff about women taking initiative, being decisive leaders, you know, that kind of thing.”


Daniel swallowed a bit of cracker and looked up.


“And you think it’s just ‘alright?’ I thought you would love that kind of book, that seems right up your alley.”


Lane shrugged as she took the hot water off the stove and poured herself a mug. “I mean, it’s great. I think more of the reason I phrased it that way is because it’s not like any new information, you know? I think it’s the kind of thing that I practice anyway. The book is kind of preachy and overdoes it a bit.” She looked at Daniel for affirmation, but was surprised when he didn’t say anything and looked back to his cheese and crackers. “What?”


“I didn’t say anything.” Daniel said in a nonchalant voice, munching on another cracker.


Lane’s eyes narrowed. “I know you didn’t… but I could tell you wanted to say something.”


Daniel had the look of an animal trapped by a predator as he tried to work his way out of this situation. “What? No, I didn’t -” He paused as he saw his fiancé with her pursed lips look and knew he was screwed either way. He sighed and relented. “Okay, don’t be angry, but… I was going to say… that I think that book could be pretty helpful to you.” He shrank back as if Lane was going to beat him up, but she merely narrowed her eyes even more and looked at him as if she couldn’t decide if he was serious or not. Finally, she burst out laughing.


“What? You’re joking right?”


Daniel shook his head apologetically. “I mean… not really? I feel like sometimes you can be a bit indecisive and don’t always try to take the lead on stuff, you know?”


“Um, no, I don’t know,” Lane countered, still giggling. “I’m not some pushover girly-girl who can’t do anything for herself!”


“I didn’t say you were!” Daniel countered quickly. “I just think that sometimes you can be a bit… I don’t know… needy? That’s not the right word. But a lot of the time you tend to let me do stuff for you. Not that I don’t like it! I like doing stuff for you,” he added quickly, clearly still worried that she was going to snap at him.


“Huh! I can’t believe this!” Said Lane, indignant. “The love of my life, telling me I’m a no-good pushover!” She joked as Daniel made a look of panic. “Well, I’ll just have to start proving myself in that case! From this point on, no more help from men,” she said dramatically, holding up a finger in front of her and striking a pose. “I will be a strong, independent woman!”


Daniel chuckled. “You’re taking this better than I thought you would.”


“Oh I mean I’m taking it this well because I think you’re full of shit. But don’t worry, I’ll prove you wrong soon enough.” Lane told him as she turned from him and reached up into the highest cabinet for the tea bags. Although she was 5’8”, she had to stand up on her tiptoes to reach the stuff on the top shelf.


“Need any help reaching the tea?” Daniel asked as he watched her reach.


“No, honey. I can reach these all by myself,” she quipped, and with that, she pushed herself up onto the countertop, got on her knees, and reached up to the top shelf herself.


“See, I can do things by myself,” Lane said with a sweet smile, while batting her eyes.


-------------------


The truth was that while Lane put on a good face for Daniel, his comment bugged her a bit. At age 29, she was a guidance counselor at a middle school, and she often advised young girls who were struggling with their confidence to stand up for themselves - to do exactly the type of thing that this book was talking about, and that she thought she embodied. But according to Daniel, she wasn’t actually practicing what she was preaching. The thought troubled her. She wanted to make sure that she was authentic with her words - kids could tell when an adult wasn’t being real with them, and if they didn’t trust her, then she wasn’t doing her job well.


It was especially important to Lane that she set a good example for her students given that it was sometimes easy for her to be handed a lot of things in life. For one thing, Lane’s family was well-off. She came from a good, happy suburban family where she got straight A’s in high school, and then she got accepted to almost every school she applied to, eventually going to Princeton. Money was not an obstacle for Lane or her family.


The other reason that things could come easily to Lane was that she was attractive. She would deny that this led to any extra opportunities for her in life, but it was hard to say that at the very least it didn’t hurt her. When people saw the tall, 5’8” brunette with smooth skin, great legs, and wavy, dark brown hair with amber brown eyes, it was hard to say no to her. Her looks, coupled with her academic abilities, had made it so that while she had her hardships like anyone else, she wasn’t exactly struggling through life.


These thoughts were still going through Lane’s head as she drove to school the next day, wearing a white blouse with a black, knee-length skirt, black tights, and appropriate three-inch heels. Pulling into the parking lot in her light green Prius, she noticed a red Jeep pulling into the spot next to hers, which was owned by her good friend Janet. The two got out of their cars at the same time and greeted each other.


“Hey Laney! Can’t believe we actually made it to Friday, I didn’t know if I was going to make it out of bed this morning. My alarm went off and I almost threw my phone out the window. How are you?”


“Oh, you know, getting by.”


Janet looked Lane up and down.


“Oh shut up, you look fantastic as always. What, do you like making all of the pubescent boys have boners all day?”



“Jan, shhhh! You can’t say that stuff so loudly!” Lane giggled and made a quieting noise with her hand as the two walked up to the main doors of the school. “And for your information, no, I just look this great all the time,” Lane said, flashing a smile at her friend before walking through the front door, where they were greeted by various staff members. Lane stopped by the school’s main office to check her mailbox, and said hello to the school’s secretary, Jackson. He was an older man with graying hair and glasses, who frequently wore a kind smile. This morning was no different.


“Morning Lane. Do you want copies made of that new student’s IEP?” Jackson asked without looking up as she stapled packets of paper together.


“Sure, that would be -” Lane stopped mid-sentence and paused. Jackson looked up from his stapling, his eyebrows slightly raised. “Actually J, I’ll do it myself. Thanks for asking though,” Lane answered. Jackson shrugged and resumed his tedious labor as Lane turned on her heel and walked with a spring in her step. Today, she thought as her heels clacked down the hallway to her office, she was going to take control and do things herself.


-------------------


Three hours into her day, Lane was feeling significantly less energetic. The usual workday was making her brain feel like mush as usual.


“If I have to explain to another idiot senior boy that they have to apply to more than one college…” She muttered aloud to herself as she closed excess tabs on her computer so that her YouTube video of the previous night’s WNBA highlights would run at a faster speed. Suddenly, her door burst open, and a short, brown-haired girl quickly walked in, slamming the door behind her again. Lane quickly closed the video and looked at the student, who had already forcefully plopped herself into the cushy chair across from Lane’s desk.


“What’s going on, Jamie?” Lane asked the girl with a sigh. This was one of her normal visitors. Several students who knew Lane well would pop in to say hello from time to time, even if they didn’t have a scheduled visit. Lane looked questioningly at the girl, whose arms were tightly crossed. She heard no response, but did get a sniffle back from her. That was new for Jamie. She was normally quite the hardened hallway warrior.


“Jamie, honey, are you okay? Would you like to talk about something?” Lane felt bad for her initially blunt greeting.


“It’s those boys! They just… they just won’t stop teasing me! One day it’s my hair, the next day it’s my clothes, I just can’t take it anymore. And it’s right in front of Mr. Harrison, and he never does anything about it!”


Lane rolled her eyes at this last comment.


“Yes, Mr. Harrison can be about as helpful as a rake in winter.” Lane heard one of Jamie’s sobs turn into almost a choking laugh at this comment. Lane knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t repeat it to anyone who would make this into a point of trouble. And it was true - Mr. Harrison was the old, sexist band teacher. Very few girls were in band these days, mostly because they couldn’t bear spending time in his presence.


“Well, honey, what do you want to do about it? I could talk to Mr. Harrison for you if you want…” Lane trailed off, knowing this wasn’t really going to solve anything. Jamie made a muttering noise that let Lane know it wasn’t the most helpful comment. “Jamie, I can talk to the principal about it - bullying is an offense that this school takes really seriously.”


“No! It doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, I don’t want them to get suspended or anything - I just - I don’t know. I wish they would just stop on their own!”


Lane sighed and handed the girl a tissue while she tapped the desk with her fingers on her other hand, the sound making a hollow “clack-clack-clack” sound in the quiet office. Again, her thoughts drifted to the same place they had been drifting the entire day, and she re-found some of that same energy from the morning.


“You know, Jamie, there is one way that you might get them to stop.”



A sniffle, and Jamie’s face peeked up from her lap, her eyes expectant.


“If you don’t want me to go to the principal about this, the way to get them to stop is to tell them yourself.” Jamie’s face disappeared again behind her brown wave of hair. “No really, Jamie, sometimes you need to stand up for yourself and do something on your own, to make you feel better! Standing up to those mean boys might be the exact thing that will get them to stop. They’re secretly scared of women who are sure of themselves.”


Jamie looked up. “R-really, Ms. Lane?”


Lane didn’t usually let students call her by her first name, but for students who she was close with, like Jamie, she made an exception. “Really. When a woman stands up for herself, men don’t have any clue what to do. Sometimes making your own decisions and taking care of things by yourself is all you really need.”


Jamie blew her nose and wiped her tears away, then looked up, her face now brightening for the first time since entering the office. “Thanks, Ms. Lane.” She sniffled one more time and stood up, and made to leave the office, but then stopped and turned as she got to the door. “I have band again Monday - I’ll tell you how it goes after I see them next!”


Lane smiled back and waved her out of the office. She took in a big breath and sat up a little straighter as she let the air out. Now, she was actually setting an example for her students. Or at least, she was giving them the tools to better themselves. Lane frowned as she realized it was one thing to tell kids what to do, and it was another thing to model it on your own. The problem was, she thought to herself, it’s not like there are just opportunities every day of the week to be a “decisive leader” - sometimes life is just normal and that’s all there is to it. She sighed and closed her laptop, wistfully thinking that she would like for something challenging to come along.


-------------------


Lane was in the staff room heating up her lunch when she heard the door open and close behind her. She turned lazily and saw Mr. Harrison wander in. He looked her up and down, eyeing her tights-clad legs and tight skirt and blouse, and then nodded to her and sat down at the table, pulling his lunch out of his bag. Lane rolled her eyes. She was used to getting looked over by the hormonally charged boys in school, but it always bugged her when it happened with fellow staff members. It happened with both men and women who she worked with, and she had just come to recognize it as a hazard of the job. She was good-looking, and she wasn’t going to hide it, but couldn’t they at least have some decency about it?


The microwaved beeped, and Lane leaned down to pull her food out, her backside sticking out as she did. When she straightened up and turned around, she caught Mr. Harrison in the act again, apparently unable to tear his eyes away from her rear end. Fed up by his lecherous observings of her, still angry about what Jamie had told her earlier in the day, and perhaps spurred on by her desire to practice what she was now preaching, Lane gave an exasperated sigh, and turned towards him.


“Really, Bill?”


“What?” Mr. Harrison feigned innocence, in an acting job that wouldn’t have fooled a six year old.


“The only person I allow to stare at my ass like that is my doctor. Keep your eyes to yourself.”


“Hey, I-”


“No.” Lane cut him off. “I’m done with men in this school staring at me when they think I’m not looking. Show some respect, will you? I’m not some object to be ogled at, I’m your coworker. And if I catch you doing it again, I’m going to HR about it.”


To her surprise, Mr. Harrison blushed and looked down. “I’m sorry, Lane. I didn’t realize what I was doing. You shouldn’t have to put up with that - I’ll be more respectful.”


Lane, who was ready for pushback from him, had to pause herself mid-breath and change tactics. “Uh - well - right. Thanks for saying that. I’ll see you around.” She gave a weird little nod to him, and turned and walked out of the staff room with her lunch, not wanting to eat in the same place as him. As she crossed the doorway, she peeked to see if he was watching her butt while she left. He wasn’t - he was looking down at his lunch.


Woah, she thought to herself. That book was right, this stuff actually works.


-------------------


The hallway was quieting down as the last of the students trickled out. It was a Friday, so there were no afterschool activities in the afternoon, and it meant that the school cleared out much faster than usual. Lane sighed deeply. No matter how much sleep she got, no matter how well-prepared she was at the beginning of the week, it was always a drag on Friday afternoon. Working in a school was both rewarding and exhausting at the same time. She slowly packed up her things and made her way into the main office to pick up any last minute mail before the weekend.


As she was checking her mailbox for any spare papers other teachers had left her, she overheard the principal, vice principal, and one of the other guidance counselors talking through the principal’s open door.


“It’s a fine idea, Janice, but we just don’t have the staff for that. Who is going to take the initiative to lead that kind of group?”


“Why don’t we just ask? I’m sure somebody with some spare time will be able to. Maybe -”


Lane poked her head through the door. “What are we talking about? Sorry, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop a bit.”


Mr. Dougherty, the principal, nodded and explained. “Some students want to start a new after school club where they address school-wide bullying issues. It’s a great idea, and I think something that our school needs, but it’s also a huge time sink. I could incentivize it with a little stipend for whichever teacher oversees it, but I don’t think it will be enough to pay how much they actually deserve for the work.”


Janice, the guidance counselor, piped up. “Stop putting it in such a negative light! I bet if we ask Mr. Johnson or -”


“I’ll do it.” Lane cut in. Everyone stopped and looked at her. Janice looked delighted. Mr. Dougherty just looked surprised. The VP, Ms. Howard, gave Lane a calculated look.


“Are you sure you don’t want to think it over a little, Lane? Mr. Dougherty did just tell you all of the reasons it could be a bit of a drag, not to mention how emotionally difficult some of that work can be.”


“I’m sure.” Everyone looked at her again as there was a slight pause, where no one seemed quite sure if they should ask her another question or not. Then -


“Well, alright then Lane. I’ll have someone write up the paperwork for running an after school club, and send it along to you. Thank you for stepping up! It’ll be nice to have some new blood helping run the school culture around her.”


“Thanks for the opportunity! Have a good weekend everyone.”


Lane turned and left the three slightly stunned administrators in her wake, the door slightly ajar behind her. As she walked out the main door of the office, she heard Mr. Dougherty mutter to the others, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy, but I’m just surprised. I’ve never seen her step up and take a leadership role like that before.” Lane smiled slightly to herself as she heard this final comment. There’s a lot you’re going to be surprised by from now on. It’s a new Lane, baby!


On her way out of the school, Lane stopped by the bathroom. It was a dingy old room, the classic kind she remembered from when she was in school, with the tiled floor and the grate in the middle, which was helpful, because sometimes the sink wouldn’t turn off and would overflow. Today seemed like one of those days, as the floor was wet as if the janitor had tried to dry it off, but had given up halfway through. After gingerly stepping around the puddle in the middle of the floor, she used the toilet and washed her hands, still playing over the day’s successes in her mind. She was living what she was trying to teach, and it felt so good! Completely absorbed in her thoughts, Lane walked over to dry her hands, and as she did, failed to notice where she was stepping - right onto the grate in the middle of the bathroom.


There was a clank as she slipped and her right foot jammed down onto the grate, the heel of her high heel slipping right into one of the holes in the grate. Arms flailing, Lane barely managed to keep her balance, but eventually stood upright again. Amazingly, she had managed to not fall and break her heel, and she had also managed to keep hold of her bag in one hand and lunch box in the other, with her coat draped over her arm. With a sigh, she tried to continue walking, but was surprised when her foot stopped short.


“Ugh!” She exclaimed out loud. Looking down, Lane pulled on her right foot again, but again the grate held her heel tight - the heel was jammed nice and tight into one of the holes in the grate. Lane straightened her right knee, then bent and pulled harder, hoping that this would make the heel pop free, but it remained trapped in the grate. Making a small noise of frustration, Lane yanked on her leg again, but to no avail. The outlines of her muscles were visible through her tights as her leg straightened and bent a few more times while remaining where she was.


Lane realized it might be easier if she could pull up her leg with her hands, which were still full with her things. She was about to put down her bag, lunch box, and coat, but thought better of it when she remembered that the floor was all wet. For the same reason, she didn’t want to take her foot out of the heel and pull the heel up - she didn’t want to put her stocking-covered foot down on the gross, wet, bathroom floor. She looked up and went to put her stuff on one of the sinks, but realized they were just out of reach. Lane rolled her eyes, annoyed at herself for not seeing the grate and stepping into it, and for the predicament that she was now in because of it.


Making a small grunting noise, she tried twisting her heel around, then yanking it up and down a few times, so that her right knee moved up and down, her muscles flexing and then loosening, flexing and then loosening, but her foot remained stuck. Lane started to worry about how embarrassing it would be if someone walked in and saw her like this, but even more than that, she thought about how she was on a streak of doing things by herself, and of taking the initiative. What kind of strong, female leader am I if I can’t even get my high heel unstuck from a stupid grate in the staff bathroom? She stopped pulling her leg for a moment, and sighed again.


She looked over at the sinks, just out of reach, and narrowed her eyes, an idea forming. She really didn’t want to miss this throw. She gently tossed her lunch box and coat, and then her bag, up to one of the sinks - and landed them perfectly! All of her stuff was safely off the floor and away from the gross water. Her hands now free, Lane placed them underneath her hamstring and pulled hard. It took a couple of seconds, but finally the heel of her shoe popped free from the tricky grate. Lane let out a quiet “whoop” of celebration, and upon determining that there was no real damage to her shoe, left the troublesome bathroom, and school.


As she walked to her car, she allowed herself a smile. Today she’d inspired a young woman to stand up for herself, she’d put a creepy male staff member in his place, she’d taken the lead on a new school-wide initiative, and she’d performed a physical task of strength, all without any help. She had never felt so confident, so sure of herself before this! This, Lane thought to herself as she approached her car, is how I am always going to act from now on.


-------------------


At home, Lane changed out of her heels that had caused her so much trouble, and also unzipped her skirt and took off her tights and blouse. There was nothing better, she mused to herself as she unbuttoned her shirt to reveal her breasts held up by her bra, than changing out of work clothes on a Friday afternoon. She looked at herself in the standing mirror and, not for the first time, admired her luscious body. Daniel poked his head into the room as she did.


“Hey Sweetie, do you want to go on a hike? It’s really nice out- woah.”


“Hey Honey,” Lane replied with a sly smile. Daniel moved the rest of his body into the room and chuckled as he moved over to her, kissing her softly on the lips. The two embraced, Lane close to naked, and felt the warmth of each others’ bodies for a moment, their lips still locked in the way that only two young lovers can truly know.


“How was your day?” Daniel finally whispered to her as he brushed hair away from her eyes.


“It was excellent,” Lane purred back to him.


Daniel stood up a little straighter in surprise at her response - this was not her normal response, especially on a Friday. “Really? What about it was so good?”


Daniel tried to keep his eyes away from just staring at her gorgeous body as she replied, animated, telling him all about her day and the excitement of achieving success using her newfound confidence. Excitedly, Lane finished with a flourish, retelling her escape from the bathroom grate complete with dramatic acting job where she mimicked her foot getting stuck and her having to pull out it. Her boobs bounced around delightfully, contained only by her bra, as Daniel chuckled a bit while he said, “Sounds to me like you’re become a bit of a superhero, huh?”


“Maybe I am,” Lane replied, laughing. “I just think that I’ve really bought into this idea of doing things for myself, by myself.”


“Hmm…” Daniel hummed quietly. “Well, there are some things that I can still do for you, right?”


Lane looked at him closely, not understanding, and then Daniel took her hand and led her toward the bed. “Oh! Well, I guess I wouldn’t mind you helping me out a bit every once in a while…” Lane giggled as she laid down on the bed, Daniel pulling off her panties.


“Glad I can still be of some use.” She heard from down below as she sighed and put her head back.


-------------------


“So, this is your new way of living?” Daniel asked later, as the two lay in bed, the afternoon sun shining through their window.


“Yup. New me, forever. It really works great!”


“Sure, I mean, for one day.”


“What do you mean?” Lane eyed Daniel suspiciously.


“Well, I mean, just that this worked for you today at work - that doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily always going to lead to a perfect day, you know?”


Lane stared at him. “I didn’t say my day was perfect, but I’d say it was a pretty good indicator of how I should conduct myself,” Lane said, as she made a flourish with her wrist as if she was actually conducting an orchestra.


“I’m just saying, it’s a small sample size,” Daniel said, keeping a straight face, before flinching when Lane swatted him on the arm. “Ow, what was that for?” He said, laughing.


Lane chuckled too as she sat up. “Because now you’re just making fun of me. You’ll see! This is a real, life-altering thing I’m doing, and I’ll prove it to you. I don’t know exactly when or how!” Lane said, putting up a hand to Daniel, who was clearly about to interrupt her asking just that. “I’m sure it will become clear if we just live our lives normally. Anyway, do you still want to go on that hike? Looks like the sun is still out.”


Daniel sat up too. “Yes! It’s getting a bit chilly though, so you might want to layer up a bit.” Both of them got up and began to change. Lane slipped on a pair of black, skin-tight, cotton leggings over her underwear, and then also pulled on a tight, green long sleeve over her bra. She put on woolen socks that went up over her ankle, and then for warmth, she reached into the closet and put on a light grey down vest. Then she hesitated, thinking about how Daniel had mentioned the cold, and also looped an artsy patterned maroon and blue infinity scarf around her neck a couple of times so that the thick scarf rested up on her breasts nicely in front and warmed her neck. Finally, Lane nestled a loose maroon beanie over her thick, smooth, dark brown hair to keep her warm, and also to keep it out of her eyes.


Lane sighed contentedly as she pulled Bean Boots on over her warm, woolen socks and loosely knotted the laces. There were few things better than going for a hike on a Friday with a person you loved.


“Ready, sweetie?”


Daniel popped his head around the corner of the coat room. “Ready. What trail do you want to take today?”


Lane pondered for a moment. “Something new! We still haven’t checked out any of the trails that go east from here, have we?”


“East it is!” Daniel said, and the two set out the back door of their house, making sure to lock it behind them as they did. They had just moved into a new home recently - they were lucky enough to be in a good financial situation where they could think of such things, and they wanted to live somewhere away from the main part of town a bit, where they would have enough space for when they had kids, which they both hoped to be in their future. Daniel and Lane figured there was no better time to move, especially since their wedding was on the horizon in the late summer.


They had moved into this new home only about four months prior, and had just unpacked the last box a week or two earlier. It wasn’t big, but they loved it. It had an extra room that was just big enough for when they had their first child - when they had a second, they would have to decide whether or not this was big enough for them, or whether they would need to upgrade. It had a yard, and the yard connected to a nature preserve that had miles of walking trails all around. It was perfect for a new couple thinking of starting a family.


Because they had only recently moved, and because they had moved in the winter, they were just starting to explore the trails in the nature preserve now that spring was here and the snow had melted. Many of the trails were still quite wet from the recent snow melt and from the spring rains, and the one that Daniel and Lane chose this day was no different. Lane heard the muddy trail squishing beneath her Bean Boots as the two hikers tramped through the rarely used paths. She giggled at the noise - as a young girl, she had always enjoyed jumping in puddles and playing in mud, and whenever she did something like this, that same joy came rushing back.


“It’s wetter than normal,” Daniel observed as the two took a breather some way into the hike, leaning up against a pair of trees.


“Makes sense, it rained for most of this week,” Lane replied. “It’s what makes these sunny days so much more special, when it's been crappy weather for the whole week and you finally get to feel the sun on your face.”


Daniel nodded his agreement. “Should we keep going for a little bit longer, then?”


“Definitely!” Lane said, and the two began walking again. Shortly, they came to a fork in the path. “Which way, do you think?”


Daniel squinted, looking left, then right. “I’m not sure, there aren’t any trail markers past this point.” He paused. “Let’s go left.” He laughed immediately, because as he had said “let’s go left,” Lane had said “let’s go right” at exactly the same time. “Why do you think we should go right?”



Lane pointed. “I think I can see a clearing up there, and the path looks wider. If you look left, it’s way more cramped and the path seems to get skinnier and skinnier.”


Daniel pointed down his path. “Yea, but on my path, you can see those wooden boards that people put up over muddy areas - I bet they would only do that for the right path, and that’s why there aren’t any on yours.”


“Those look like they haven’t been touched in years, they look all rotten - I think that’s because yours is an older version of the path, and mine is the newer, correct one.” Before Daniel could argue further, Lane cut him off. “Remember what I said earlier? I’m making decisions for myself these days, I’m deciding that I’m going right and you can’t change my mind.” Lane said with a wink, as Daniel laughed, surprised at her conviction.


“Wow! Alright, I guess this is the real you now.” Lane nodded confidently. “Well I still think you’re wrong, so I’m gonna go left. Each person can shout to the other person if they see that their path seems like it’s the right one - sound good?”


“Sounds good, get ready to come join me on my path in a minute,” Lane quipped, and Daniel rolled his eyes.


Triumphant, and more than a little proud of herself, Lane set off on the right path, her Bean Boots stomping on the wet leaves. She felt the ground squish a bit beneath the leaves, and as she rounded a slight bend, saw the path turn into a muddy expanse for the next hundred or so feet. Lane hesitated - when she had seen the clearing up ahead, she hadn’t realized what the ground was like - but then with her newfound confidence, she continued straight forward with her head held high. She could see Daniel out of the corner of her eye through the trees - the paths did not diverge very far from each other for the first few hundred feet, and since it was mid-spring, there weren't many leaves on the bushes to hinder his view of her. Lane knew that she would never hear the end of it from him if she turned back because of a little mud.


She tramped through the mud confidently, slapping her feet down with a little more force than she normally would, just to make a point. She looked left and saw Daniel a little ways away with a look of knowing laughter on his face - she could tell that he was waiting for her to stop walking through the mud so he could make fun of her. She smiled back at him and continued onward, slapping her feet down harder than before so he would hear that she was not stopping. Something in the texture of the ground seemed off to her, and she looked down as she walked - there seemed to be a slick layer of mud over the ground, a layer that was making some funny noises every time she put her foot down. Suddenly, she slipped a bit as her feet broke the surface of the strange mud. Undeterred, Lane pushed on and kept walking forward.


Daniel’s voice rang through the trees. “Lane, the wooden boards are newer after this first little bit. This trail is definitely still in use!” Lane ignored him and kept walking.


As she did, she noticed that the mud was beginning to suck at her boots a bit with each step. She had walked about a third of the way into this muddy patch, to a part where it was a bit wider. People before here had clearly tried to walk around the muddy part, and in doing so, had widened the trail so that it was about ten feet wide. Pushing on, Lane walked straight down the middle of the patch where the mud seemed to be the most churned up and thick. Step, step, squish squish. Step step, suck suck. The gooey ground seemed to be holding onto her boots a bit more now as she approached the halfway point of the mud patch.


Now it was taking a bit more effort with each step, to the point where Lane could no longer walk at her normal pace. She was having to stop with each step, lean onto her front foot, and yank on her back leg to get it forward. Although the mud didn’t seem very deep, and only came about an inch up the sides of her Bean boots, it was making for some tough movement. This is getting pretty sticky, Lane thought to herself as she took another halting step. Step, suuuck. Step, suuuuuuck.


Suddenly, she yanked her left leg and her foot flew out of her boot! Lane shrieked and teetered, one foot in the air, while her arms pinwheeled wildly as she fought for balance. The last thing she wanted was to fall over in this messy, dark mud and get it all over herself. With the balance of a gymnast, Lane righted herself, standing only on her right leg, with her left leg hovering in the air. She looked behind her to see her left boot still stuck where her foot had left it. Not wanting to put her left foot down in the mud and get it covered in this stuff, she very carefully put her left foot back into her stuck left boot, and sighed.


“How is it going over there? You still sure you’re on the correct path?” Daniel called teasingly. He had heard her shriek and while there were some small bushes between them, he was only about fifty feet away and could see that she had stopped moving.


“Yes, I most certainly am, thank you for asking!” Lane said defiantly. “Just a little muddy over here, but that’s because this path is so well traveled - people have been churning it up. That’s how I know it’s still the right way to go!”


Daniel “hmphhh’d” and watched as Lane leaned down. She untied and retied her left boot, making sure that it was tight enough that her foot wouldn’t slip out this time, then double knotted it for good measure. Then she did the same to her right boot, lest the same thing should happen to her again. While re-tying both of them, she noticed that her feet had settled another inch or so into the dark, wet, gooey mud - standing in one place for so long had displaced a bit of the mud. She didn’t think much of it. She would be on her way regardless of how deep the mud was - nothing was going to stop her from proving herself.


With her boots tied more tightly, this time, she went to continue on her way. The mud made a loud squelch as she went to lift her left leg again, but something happened that she didn’t expect: her boot didn’t come out of the mud. Instead of her foot pulling her boot out of the mud, her boot stayed put. Her foot, unable to leave the boot this time because of the tightened laces, stayed there too. This time it was Lane’s turn to “hmph.” She pulled a bit harder on her left leg, but with another loud squelch, her boot stayed gooped up and stuck in the mud.


Annoyed, Lane decided to pull her right foot out instead. Her right foot was slightly in front, so she leaned back, placing her weight on her left foot this time and gave a good yank… but besides a small gurgle, she felt no noticeable movement from her right foot either. Another yank - another gurgle. It almost sounded like a chuckle, like the mud was laughing at her feeble attempts to remove her boots from its grasp.


“Honey? Everything okay?”


“Yes!”


“Do you want -”


“No Daniel, I do not want help. I’m perfect capable of doing things on my own, especially things as simple as walking through a little mud.”


Daniel, who had started walking slowly through the brush between the paths, shrugged as he broke through the edge of the clearing where Lane had gotten herself into the sticky situation. “Okay.” he sighed, and planted himself on a nearby rock, and got comfy. “I’ll wait for you then.”


“Good. Now watch how I can do this on my own.” Lane said with confidence. She couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when she proved herself again, this time finally in front of Daniel. She turned her attention back to her feet. The dark, wet mud was lapping at the sides of her boots so that they were only about two inches deep - the mud was barely even up to the bottoms of the laces. Lane smirked. She would be out of this in no time.


Lane started by tugging inquisitively on her left foot, which was slightly behind her right, to test out the resistance of the mud. She gave a gentle yank, observing the way the mud felt around her boots she pulled on it. She noticed that at first, the boot seemed like it would pop out of the mud nice and easily, but the further out of the mud she pulled it, the more the mud seemed to grip onto the boot as if it wanted to yank it back down. The mud seemed to sort of rise up with and alongside the boot, so that when she had pulled her foot up a couple of inches, the mud was still gripping tightly onto the sides of it, stretching upwards, almost like how thick pudding rises when you pull a spoon up out of it. It almost reminded her briefly of glue. She allowed her foot to return to its initial spot with a soft “gshh.”


Lane then tried the same thing with her right foot. Leaning back onto her left leg again, she tried to pull up the toe of her right foot first - but the mud seemed to want to keep it planted right where it was. Leaning back a little more, she pulled a little harder, but instead of her foot coming upwards, it just moved backwards a bit - still in the mud, but so that it was now closer to her left foot than before.


“Whatcha doing there?” Daniel asked innocently. Lane ignored him.


Aha! She thought to herself. Lifting her feet up was hard because of the suction, so she would instead loosen up the mud by twisting her feet around - moving them around in the mud didn’t seem too hard, it was just hard to lift them out of the mud. If she created some air pockets in the mud, it wouldn’t be gripping her boots so tightly, and she would be out of this little puddle.


Lane began to twist at her hips, and as she did, she heard the mud gurgle and pop a bit, again sounding like it was laughing at her, as if it knew a joke that she didn’t. Left and right went Lane’s hips, as she tried to get some air into the mud, her hips swiveling more and more. As she did, her feet, which initially had been one in front of the other, slowly moved until they were side by side, a few inches apart. After a minute, Lane decided she’d worked the mud long enough. Sure this would work, she pulled her left up… and the mud pulled it back down. She tried her right. Same result. Annoyed, and embarrassed that Daniel was witnessing these failed attempts, Lane tried again. Left foot up… left foot down. Right foot up… right foot down.


Lane looked down to see if there was any change, and realized with a start that rather than being closer to getting free of the mud, her feet were actually deeper than before. Her boots were now in the mud up over the bottoms of the laces and the mud was part way up the tongue of the boots, almost at her ankles. Lane realized that all of that twisting must have loosened up the bottom of the mud puddle a bit and allowed her to sink more, and it didn’t let more air in like she had hoped - the suction had remained as strong as ever. It actually maybe even felt a little stronger than before, since she was a little deeper in the mud. She also noticed that all of the leaves in the mud were sort of swirled around her a bit - also a result of her twisting motions. It would make for a good picture, she thought to herself.


Then Lane shook her head. Fun time was over. Time to get out. She decided she was done trying to finesse this. Lane pulled up on her left foot, hard, hoping this would break the strong suction. Then she tried her right. Both times, the mud held on good and tight, so Lane pulled on them again, harder. She started a sort of halting march in place, yanking first on her left foot, then on her right. Up and down her legs went, left, then right, then left, then right again, her feet moving like pistons, but she couldn’t break the suction holding her there. Lane kept at it anyway - surely eventually the mud would have to give away, she thought? Her cute little knees bobbed up and down as she pulled on her caught feet over and over again, her long, slender legs clad in her black, skin-tight leggings moving one after the other, but she remained stuck fast.


Lane was growing frustrated, and let out a loud “hmpphhh.” Why was this so hard? She was barely in this goop a few inches! As she thought this, she let out a gasp, because she felt something cold running down her right ankle. Lane looked down with a start, and realized that she had actually sunk even more than before! The mud had topped her right boot, and water had started to trickle in. Instinctively, she tried to pull it up out of the mud, and as she did, she noticed something almost imperceptible that she had ignored before - her left foot, when she pulled up her right, displaced a tiny bit of the mud, and sank a little bit deeper. Lane put her right foot down and paused, thinking. No wonder she was deeper than before - every time she tried to lift up a foot, the other was sinking a little bit deeper, and furthering the suction on her boots. She gasped again as cold water started to trickle into her left boot as well now, beginning to soak her previously warm, woolen socks.


Lane’s Bean Boots were now completely under the surface of the mud - all that she could see when she looked down were her long, slender legs, covered by her soft, black leggings, and the tops of her woolen socks poking out of the mud. It looked like her feet had disappeared, as if she was a tree rooted in the mud and her feet were the roots holding her in the earth. Lane stood still for a moment, the mud quietly gurgling and bubbling around her, and pondered her situation. She thought it might be easy to step free of the mud if only she had a little more leverage, but the only problem with that was that there wasn’t anything for her to grab onto or push off of. If she could hold onto something… she looked around and saw a big stick that looked strong enough to support her weight.


“Daniel, could you pass me that stick over there? I can use it to…” Lane stopped, catching herself.


“Yes?” Daniel replied, smirking. “You need help with something, Sweetie?”


“Nope. No. Don’t know what gave you that idea,” Lane said quickly as she shifted her weight from leg to leg. Even though she was standing still, she could still feel the imperceptible sinking of each foot - subconsciously, she shifted her weight from hip to hip, causing the mud to bubble and pop as it crept up her socks so that they were almost gone. The mud was approaching her lower calves at this point.


“Oh, okay. I could have sworn you were going to say that you couldn’t do something yourself, and that you needed help. Because that would be okay, you know.”


Lane shook her head. “No, I think you misheard me. In fact, from now on, if I ask you for help, you ignore it. No need to even acknowledge me if you think you hear anything like that again.” Daniel sighed, sitting back down on his rock.


“Okay then, I guess I’ll wait while you play in the mud, which you clearly don’t need any help getting out of.”


“Great. Thank you.” Lane said curtly. Then, she returned her attention to her struggles.


By this point, Lane had sunk up to the bottoms of her calves. Her calf muscles showed through her tight leggings. As she began to struggle anew, Daniel could see their outlines flexing one as she pulled on her legs, one after the other. Lane pulled on her left leg, then her right leg, then her left again, and once more her right. No luck. The mud seemed to only tighten its grip on her lovely calves, creeping up them bit by bit as she worked her hips back and forth. It also slowly squeezed her legs together until her feet were practically touching. Lane, annoyed by this, tried to pull her feet apart, but it almost felt as if her legs were bound together. Why is this so hard to pull my feet out? She thought to herself as her legs continued their bobbing up and down, slowly sinking. Why won’t my feet just come free? No answers came her way.


Lane also noticed that her feet were growing heavier. Her boots were completely waterlogged at this point, so they were weighing her down more and more the more she sank. Try as she might, she just couldn’t pull her legs free of the mud, and the more she tried, the faster the mud happily slurped her legs up. Soon, it approached the bottom of her cute knees, which were outlined through her leggings. Her feet were completely forced together by the mud at this point, so as she tried to pull each leg up, her knees and thighs were rubbing together. Back and forth, back and forth her hips went, as she tried in vain to escape the natural trap that she had stubbornly stepped into.


Daniel looked on, disinterested, and yawned.


As the mud slipped up over knees, Lane paused her struggles to think. This was deeper than she had originally realized. Wasn’t this supposed to be a walking path? Lane pondered this as the mud slipped up over her knees to the bottom of her well-shaped thighs. She guessed that maybe Daniel had been right, and hers really hadn’t been the right path. She looked down at the leaves, which had completely circled her legs like a tight little tu-tu. She suddenly wished that she had not re-tightened her Bean Boots and tried to muscle her way out of this mud all the way back when she had first stepped into it. Her boots, completely full of muddy water, continued to drag her down underneath the mud. She wished she could slip them off, but with the laces tightened, and her feet squeezed tightly together by the imprisoning mud, there was no hope of getting them off.


Lane tried a new tactic. She had heard of how in mud you were supposed to distribute your weight. She was loathe to get her top wet, but she figured at this point, keeping herself clean was no longer a possibility. She leaned back, which was difficult, given that the mud was lapping at her lower thighs by this time, and felt the mud wet the back of her hamstrings, and then her butt as she leaned back further. She laid her forearms back on top of the mud behind her to help distribute her weight even more, and it seemed to help. Lane lay there for a few seconds, resting. Her struggles had made her warm up, even on this chilly day. She thought about taking her scarf off, but then realized there wouldn’t be anywhere for her to put it - again, she wished that a branch, or something to hold onto, pull on, or push herself up off of was in reach. She looked around, hoping that she had missed something, but unsurprisingly found herself alone in the middle of the mud pit.


Leaning back seemed to have slowed her sinking, but it wasn’t helping her get out at all. It wasn’t a very good position to try to pull herself out of the mud - she had no leverage - so it wasn’t really a long term solution. Plus, her arms were now covered in the mud, even though they were still mostly on top of it. Lane pushed herself upright with a loud “SQUICK” as her arms came free of the mud behind her, but it wasn’t easy - the suction was surprisingly strong, even when her arms were basically resting on top of the clingy goo.

Upright again, she noticed with some trepidation that she was in this sticky goop up to her mid-thighs now. “How deep is this stuff?” Lane muttered to herself. She came up with a new tactic. She would try to pull herself free from the mud by essentially “swimming” forward. That way, she could make her way to where the ground was more solid, and then she could push herself up off of that to escape.


She tried to decide which way to swim her way out of, and instinctively turned left, toward Daniel, but then paused. He was still sitting on the rock, a satisfied smirk on his face as he watched her struggle. Lane didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. She was still going to do this on her own! She slowly twisted herself around in the mud, twisting her hips and pulling herself around by sticking her hands on top of it like paddles until she was facing the opposite direction of him. She would get out the other side of this morass just to spite him. All of this twisting and wiggling made Lane sink up until the mud had greedily pulled her down another few inches, so that it was approaching her crotch.


Daniel, unbeknownst to Lane, wasn’t too upset with her choice of direction. He would now get to watch his beautiful fiancé’s toned bottom wiggle around as she struggled in this natural trap.


Lane, meanwhile, had begun her journey from the middle of the pit. She pulled herself through the mud, but it wasn’t as effective as she had hoped. Looking left and right, Lane tried to tell if it was working. She thought that she might be making a little progress? It was tough to see. The whole area she was in looked kind of the same, and the far side of the path was far enough away that it was hard to tell. Lane was also low enough to the ground now that from her perspective, it was tough to see much. Lane pulled herself again, with both of her arms, shoving her hips forward, and as she did, she felt the watery goop reach her crotch.


“Oh!”


“What’s up?” Daniel asked.


“Nothing, just - trying a new, uh, thing out.” Lane said haltingly.


Daniel lazily went back to watching Lane’s ass. He noticed that she had stopped moving forward for the moment, and was instead wiggling a bit, side to side, in a new way.


The truth was, the mud felt a very particular way on Lane’s private region. She squirmed, trying to get the feeling to stop, but it was very distracting. She tried to ignore the feeling, but every time she moved, she felt it more. She started pulling herself forward again, but the pressure increased every time she attempted to thrust her hips forward again. The mud crept up Lane’s hips as the mud explored her and she, unwillingly, continued to squirm around, trying to alleviate the pressure on her privates. As she did, she began to sink faster. Soon, the mud was at her hips, and even though she knew her wiggling was making her sink faster, it was hard for her to stop these new movements because of the mud’s pressure on her private parts.


Lane had stopped all attempts at forward motion at this point, and was primarily focused on stopping the feeling that the mud had created. She was embarrassed, but also was grateful that Daniel was behind her and couldn’t see her face, so he wouldn’t suspect what was really going on. Still, it was creating a serious issue - she was now in the mud almost up to her belly button, and growing uncomfortable with her predicament in more ways than one. In an effort to give herself a brief reprieve, Lane nervously put her hands on top of the mud, and pushed, hoping that she would lift herself up a bit and buy herself some time.


For a moment, it seemed to have worked. She felt her hips moving upward a couple of inches, even though her hands had sunk an inch or two below the surface. She pushed harder, and the feeling around her crotch lessened. Sighing and leaning her head back thankfully, Lane gave her full effort and shoved her arms downward.


Suddenly, her hands plunged deep into the mud, and she fell forward. Her arms had sunk quickly up to her elbows. The brief upward movement that Lane had gotten had also backtracked - her butt was now back under the mud, which was at her belly button. Having leaned forward, her vest was now taking on water. Lane gasped - the mud was very cold on her torso. She quickly tried to right her mistake, but when she attempted to lean back, she was dismayed to find that her arms stayed put. She yanked on her left arm, but it stayed stuck. Then she tried her right, but it stayed put as well. She pulled on both at the same time, but all this did was force her tight abs into the ever-gurgling mud - it was now up to her ribs, and her arms were stuck fast.


Lane felt a twinge of fear run through her. Having her lower body stuck was bad enough, but now having her arms trapped, she felt a certain sense of helplessness. Still facing away from Daniel, without thinking, she called out. “Honey?”


She waited. No response.


“Honey?” Again, nothing.


“Daniel!” She said more urgently this time.


“Yes?”


“Can you find a stick to give to me to help pull me toward the side?”


Silence again.


“Daniel! Didn’t you hear me?” Lane said with urgency again, as she felt the mud creep up her rips one by one. She didn’t like the feeling of her tight long sleeve slowly soaking through underneath her vest. It was cold against her skin as it got wet. She was quite worried that she was sinking even when she wasn’t moving at all, but she figured it must have been because her down vest was taking on water as well. It was light and airy when dry, but it got quite heavy when it was wet. It must have been weighing her down, helping her sink into the muddy trap in which she had gotten herself firmly imprisoned.


“I heard you alright, but I seem to remember you telling me to ignore you if I heard anything that even sounded like you asking for help.”


Lane huffed in exasperation and rolled her eyes, knowing he couldn’t see her face. “Yes, well, I know I said that, but the thing is - well - I don’t know if I can get out on my own.” As Lane admitted this, distraught, she felt the mud reach the top of her ribs and wet her bra. “I’m a little… well, I’m - I’m actually sort of stuck. Actually, more accurately, I’m sinking.” She waited for his reply, but heard nothing. “I can’t get out.” She added, in case he had somehow misunderstood her comment. “Daniel?”


She heard a sigh behind her.


“Laney, you gave me strict orders. You told me last time that no matter what you said, I was under instructions to not help you, under any circumstances. You told me to not even acknowledge you. Well, this is me not acknowledging you.” Daniel finished this with a smirk that he knew Lane could hear in his voice, even if she couldn’t see it because she was still planted deep in the mud looking the other way. He was acutely unaware of the serious danger she was in, and was clearly enjoying this new power over her, especially given her recent attitude toward his efforts to be kind to her.


“Daniel, that’s not - this isn’t - this is different! AGH!” Lane yelled in frustration, and then surprise as the mud began to push up her breasts nicely as it continued to lovingly suck her downward. As it did, the scarf that rested atop her breasts rose as well, slowly moving up toward her face so that it covered first her neck, then her chin, and then her mouth. Her breasts continued to rise, almost acting as a buoy for her.


“Daniel, sweetie, I’m sorry I yelled at you. I really need your help. Can you please get me out? I need some assistance.”


Nothing. Unbeknownst to her, behind her, Daniel had sat back down with his back up against the rock, and had closed his eyes.


Lane struggled in frustration and fear, rocking her body left and right as much as she could, but the mud held her tight. She jerked her hips forward, then back, but all these movements did was force her further downward - meanwhile, the mud finally conquered her breasts, and began to suck them down beneath the surface. The leaves swirled around her ever more closely, and the scarf was drawn up over her mouth completely, tightening slightly so that her voice was becoming more muffled.


“Daphul?” She mumbled out, as the mud began to ooze between her breasts, feeling every inch of them. She tried to speak more loudly through the tightening scarf. “Daniel? Please rescue me. Please, sweetie, I’m sinking and I’m trapped and I need your help.”


Daniel, with his eyes still closed, heard this new, quiet tone in his fiancé’s voice. He heard the fear, and the submission, and realized that she was finally serious about wanting his help. Still with his eyes closed, and his head leaned back, he sighed, then finally responded, still wary of what wrath he might incur by going against her new mantra.


“Okay honey, if you’re really serious, ask me one more time so I know that you truly want my help.” Eyes closed, he listened.


Feet away, Lane was trying to answer, but the swirling mud and leaves had continued to wrap the scarf tightly around Lane’s mouth like a gag. All of a sudden, when seconds before she had been able to talk to her beloved Daniel, her scarf had suddenly silenced her. She tried to let out a muffled entreaty to Daniel, but with the scarf gagging her as effectively as if she were a kidnapped damsel, and with the wind blowing in the trees, he didn’t hear her attempted reply. He remained where he was, eyes closed, expectantly awaiting her reply as the mud finished off enveloping her beautiful breasts and began climbing up her neck.


Then, as Lane frantically wiggled her body around, trying to answer, she slipped even deeper into the mud’s strong, sticky grasp. It devoured her neck and reached her chin. Desperately, Lane tried to answer, but the thick scarf eliminated all sounds from her mouth as she took quick, short breaths through her nose. The mud dipped slightly where her head barely poked out above the gooey surface, and then it slipped up over her mouth, so that any final sounds were officially out of the question. The mud gurgled happily, having sealed her fate. Feet away, Daniel adjusted his seating and leaned back further, assuming his beautiful fiancé had decided against his help once again.


Lane tried to lean her head back to continue breathing, but the mud, as it held her entire, captured body, also held her too tightly to give her any leeway. It held her straight up and down as if in a sarcophagus, and sucked her nose under with a small “plop,” until only her amber eyes remained above the surface, her hair splayed out on the wet mud behind her. Her scarf had been partially sucked under the surface as well, still wrapped around her mouth and head. Lane looked left and right, but she was out of options. Behind her, Daniel shivered from the cold, and settled in more snuggly against the rock he was leaning on.


Lane closed her eyes as the mud completed its final capturing of her form. It swept up over her closed eyes and suddenly only her hair remained on the surface - then that too was sucked under slowly, but surely. As it was disappearing, a few extra bubbles rippled up to the surface. The added noise, additional to the normal bubbling that the mud had been making since Lane made her fateful steps into it, roused Daniel, who had begun to nod off in boredom. He rubbed his eyes, sat up, and looked around. The mire was quiet again, and there was nothing to be seen of his partner. Confused, he began to look around.

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Theo
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Re: New story (first one in a while)

Postby Theo » Thu Jun 02, 2022 5:55 am

Another great story goolems! I liked the gradual build up in urgency as she so confidently tried to free herself at first, then the sudden rise in her sense of terror towards the end as she realizes she’s hopelessly stuck and sinking, and all the little “twists of fate” along the way (tightening her laces, her scarf covering her mouth etc.).

I also enjoy the little off topic subplots you put into your stories where the character gets stuck somewhere else, like Lane’s heel getting stuck in the floor grate, and Sydney getting stuck in the shed in A Trap of Her Own Making.

Though I have to say, I was really rooting for Lane to survive in this one. I hoped maybe after she went under Daniel would sit up and say, “oh shit!” and somehow try to rescue her. I even went over to DeviantArt thinking maybe it got cut off at the end as it seemed a little open ended. But that’s just the way it is.

Anyways, thanks for posting! :D
Finally broke down and went to see a psychologist. She told me I just have an overactive imagination—and it really excited her. We're going sinking next weekend. Theo's AI Quicksandbox New stuff every weekend (unless life gets in the way)

Rusty Shackleford
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Re: New story (first one in a while)

Postby Rusty Shackleford » Sat Jun 04, 2022 2:58 pm

Thank you for sharing, I always enjoy reading your stories. Great to see new work from you!

[goolems
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Re: New story (first one in a while)

Postby [goolems » Sun Jun 05, 2022 2:07 am

Theo wrote:Another great story goolems! I liked the gradual build up in urgency as she so confidently tried to free herself at first, then the sudden rise in her sense of terror towards the end as she realizes she’s hopelessly stuck and sinking, and all the little “twists of fate” along the way (tightening her laces, her scarf covering her mouth etc.).

I also enjoy the little off topic subplots you put into your stories where the character gets stuck somewhere else, like Lane’s heel getting stuck in the floor grate, and Sydney getting stuck in the shed in A Trap of Her Own Making.

Though I have to say, I was really rooting for Lane to survive in this one. I hoped maybe after she went under Daniel would sit up and say, “oh shit!” and somehow try to rescue her. I even went over to DeviantArt thinking maybe it got cut off at the end as it seemed a little open ended. But that’s just the way it is.

Anyways, thanks for posting! :D


Thanks for reading! The little twists of fate are what I thrive on when writing - those are what I find so fun and devious, how any little thing can change an outcome. The main one in this story was all of what she had read leading to her telling Daniel not to help her, no matter what... I also enjoy writing subplots where the characters get stuck before the sink. It's a nice way to foreshadow and tell something different for a change.

As for hoping she would survive: you're not the only person to say that about this story. I write the stories a certain way because that's how I see it in my mind, but if you want a different ending and I left it open, by all means, have it end that way in your mind! There's no one correct way to write a story, and if you think it should end a certain way, then by all means, go for it :).

Anyway, thanks for the feedback! It always helps to know what readers are thinking and looking for when I get to writing my next story, and I appreciate knowing that someone out there is reading and enjoying my writing.

[goolems
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Re: New story (first one in a while)

Postby [goolems » Sun Jun 05, 2022 2:07 am

Rusty Shackleford wrote:Thank you for sharing, I always enjoy reading your stories. Great to see new work from you!


Thanks! Much appreciated, hopefully it won't be so long before I write again this time!

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Theo
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Re: New story (first one in a while)

Postby Theo » Sun Jun 05, 2022 7:02 am

[goolems wrote:Thanks for reading! The little twists of fate are what I thrive on when writing - those are what I find so fun and devious, how any little thing can change an outcome. The main one in this story was all of what she had read leading to her telling Daniel not to help her, no matter what... I also enjoy writing subplots where the characters get stuck before the sink. It's a nice way to foreshadow and tell something different for a change.

Agreed! The little twists of fate are one of the things I really enjoy writing in my own stories, so I guess that explains why I enjoy reading them in yours. And I have SO many ideas for stuff like that — if I could just find the time to write them :|

[goolems wrote:As for hoping she would survive: you're not the only person to say that about this story. I write the stories a certain way because that's how I see it in my mind, but if you want a different ending and I left it open, by all means, have it end that way in your mind! There's no one correct way to write a story, and if you think it should end a certain way, then by all means, go for it :).

Totally understandable. It's just like one of those movies where you're really rooting for the character to make it out alive, but it just wasn't meant to be. Not every story can have a happy ending, and it would be quite boring and predictable if they all did.

[goolems wrote:Anyway, thanks for the feedback! It always helps to know what readers are thinking and looking for when I get to writing my next story, and I appreciate knowing that someone out there is reading and enjoying my writing.

You're very welcome goolems! :D
Finally broke down and went to see a psychologist. She told me I just have an overactive imagination—and it really excited her. We're going sinking next weekend. Theo's AI Quicksandbox New stuff every weekend (unless life gets in the way)

zac shadow
Posts: 49
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2015 9:45 am

Re: New story (first one in a while)

Postby zac shadow » Sat Jul 01, 2023 11:27 am

[goolems wrote:
Rusty Shackleford wrote:Thank you for sharing, I always enjoy reading your stories. Great to see new work from you!


Thanks! Much appreciated, hopefully it won't be so long before I write again this time!

The only thing in pity is she didn't wear pantyhose in the quicksand!She only wear pantyhose in the bathroom! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(


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