A Backyard Experiment

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Theo
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A Backyard Experiment

Postby Theo » Fri Mar 05, 2021 3:38 am

An erotic, cautionary tale of a woman’s unlikely discovery and experiences that quickly grow into an perilous obsession.

My very first attempt at a quicksand story. It’s quite long, at about 11,800 words, 27 (statement size) pages, and 5 chapters, however it is on topic throughout with multiple sinking scenes. I hope it’s relatively original, but forgive me if something similar has been done as so far, I’ve only been able to read a few dozen of the estimated 900+ other stories on QuicksandFans. Hope you enjoy, and thank you for taking the time to read my story. Constructive feedback is appreciated! :)
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It’s not so much that I like to write; I just like to tell stories.

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Aaron White
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Re: A Backyard Experiment

Postby Aaron White » Fri Mar 05, 2021 9:02 am

Well done! Especially for a first story. Honestly, while the quicksand segments themselves are well-framed, I'm almost more impressed by how polished and well-structured the text is. I don't know if you're a naturally good writer or put a lot of revision work in, but it's comfortable to read, which makes the experience all the more welcome.

As far as the length, it's probably a matter of preference, but I like these longer stories with multiple sinks. Keeps things varied and interesting. I'm actually working on something new myself, and it may well be among the longest quicksand stories that've been shared on the site once it's done. I really hope we get to see some more work from you soon!

Theo
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Re: A Backyard Experiment

Postby Theo » Sat Mar 06, 2021 4:24 am

Aaron White wrote:Well done! Especially for a first story. Honestly, while the quicksand segments themselves are well-framed, I'm almost more impressed by how polished and well-structured the text is. I don't know if you're a naturally good writer or put a lot of revision work in, but it's comfortable to read, which makes the experience all the more welcome.

As far as the length, it's probably a matter of preference, but I like these longer stories with multiple sinks. Keeps things varied and interesting. I'm actually working on something new myself, and it may well be among the longest quicksand stories that've been shared on the site once it's done. I really hope we get to see some more work from you soon!


Wow, thank you so much Aaron! That means so much coming from the author of one of my favorite stories (The Silty Secrets of Miss Rebecca Lorengale). Can't get that one out of my head, in a good way. As a matter of fact, reading your story was kind of the "final plunge" you might say for me in deciding to join QuicksandFans and start sharing my stories. I love your art work too. I wish I had your talent to illustrate my stories. I'm afraid the Backyard Experiment cover art is the best sample of my drawing skills :|

I've never considered myself a good writer. Reading, writing and spelling were never my favorite subjects in school. Even to this day, aside from text books, I've probably never read more books than I could count on both hands sad to say. I do however love a good story and movies (especially old ones), and have always had an overactive imagination, though I never thought I possessed the finesse to put my ideas to "digital paper." But when the pandemic started, like most of us, I suddenly found myself with an abundance of free time. So I decided to start writing some of those ideas and see how it turns out, mainly for my own entertainment at first, or perhaps to get out the ideas that had been swirling around in my head for years. I wasn't really thinking of sharing them with anyone, or even knew where I could. The only place I knew of at the time was Black Squirrel's website and having not seen any new stories on there since I'd found it, I didn't think it was active anymore. I'd run across QuicksandFans years ago, but at the time, I thought it asked for a login to look at everything so I had no idea there was so many other stories on here. Then last fall, I discovered I could look at the story section here without a login. After that, I started toying with the idea of sharing my stories here. Then I found and read your story a month or so ago and that was it.

Right now, I have about a dozen and a half stories in various levels of completion. Most are just ideas with a short synopsis (I've been thinking of ideas faster than I can write), some are partially done, and a few are mostly finished and just need edited. Most of my more recent ideas however are more of the unwilling, adventure/disaster, survival/drama genre (I love movies/stories like that), more of a long, largely off topic story with a sinking scene as opposed to all about the sinking, so I'm not sure how well received they'll be here. But I can neither confirm nor deny I might have a few more erotic ideas in the future. Just bear with me cause I write pretty slow and I'm constantly bouncing back and forth between stories and other interests. I'm hoping to be around QuicksandFans for a while :)
It’s not so much that I like to write; I just like to tell stories.

ghostofmyeyes
Posts: 54
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 3:07 pm

Re: A Backyard Experiment

Postby ghostofmyeyes » Sat Mar 06, 2021 5:29 pm

Excellent story. The archives here do indeed feature some longer stories where the bulk of the text isn't sinking matter. The characterization, context, and stakes established in a longer story can make an ordinary sinking scene into a great one. Too few go that far anymore. I would be eager to read more from you.

MoTU
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Re: A Backyard Experiment

Postby MoTU » Sun Mar 07, 2021 8:33 am

Great work! Very enjoyable read - you owe yourself a lot more credit as a writer. No rush, but I'm certainly eager to read whatever you choose to post next.

Theo
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Re: A Backyard Experiment

Postby Theo » Sun Mar 07, 2021 10:08 pm

ghostofmyeyes wrote:Excellent story. The archives here do indeed feature some longer stories where the bulk of the text isn't sinking matter. The characterization, context, and stakes established in a longer story can make an ordinary sinking scene into a great one. Too few go that far anymore. I would be eager to read more from you.


Thanks ghostofmyeyes! (Like the name!). I've seen some longer stories too, I guess I was just wasn't sure how long and far off topic is too far cause I myself used to balk at such stories until recently. But ultimately, I guess there's only one way to find out.
It’s not so much that I like to write; I just like to tell stories.

Theo
Posts: 131
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2021 4:12 am
Location: My computer usually

Re: A Backyard Experiment

Postby Theo » Sun Mar 07, 2021 10:18 pm

MoTU wrote:Great work! Very enjoyable read - you owe yourself a lot more credit as a writer. No rush, but I'm certainly eager to read whatever you choose to post next.


Thank you MoTU. It's hard to give something credit when you've never shared it with anyone before. But with all the positive feedback, I'll certainly be eager to post more stories when I feel they're ready.
It’s not so much that I like to write; I just like to tell stories.

maria
Posts: 135
Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:00 am

Re: A Backyard Experiment

Postby maria » Mon Mar 08, 2021 1:12 am

Excellent reading - good work! Would love to read more - particularly with a rubber boot theme perhaps ... waders :shock:

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bogbud
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Location: Stuck and sinking

Re: A Backyard Experiment

Postby bogbud » Mon Mar 08, 2021 8:32 am

This is a great story and Nikki reminds me so much of my own feelings and desires, it's just unbelievable.
Really hoping to read more of her adventures!
I'm chindeep in this mudbog and every desperate attempt to move my stuck legs only drives me deeper in. The thick mud slowly swamps my waders and i have nothing to hold onto. I'm so feeling home.

Theo
Posts: 131
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2021 4:12 am
Location: My computer usually

Re: A Backyard Experiment

Postby Theo » Mon Mar 08, 2021 10:13 pm

maria wrote:Excellent reading - good work! Would love to read more - particularly with a rubber boot theme perhaps ... waders :shock:


Thank you Maria! I like a good story with boots too. The suction makes it all the more difficult for the character to escape. I can neither confirm nor deny I might include boots in a future story ;)
It’s not so much that I like to write; I just like to tell stories.


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