GTaggert wrote:When I was in college, I took a double minor in English/Creative Writing and Computer Science. The guidelines and things I learned then are still with me today. What I like most about stories like Victoria's Succumbing is how closely the story follows those guidelines. You and I have the hardest job when trying to do quality writing: the genre (fantasy, in this case). The number one thing in good fiction writing is making the story believable, no matter how fantastic (not meaning "great" but meaning far from reality) the story is. This requires making the characters real in an otherwise fantastical environment. Victoria and Carrie come off as real women. You can picture them in real-life situations and interactions. Their motivations and emotions are relatable as Victoria battles the vision of the Swamptress in what is basically a dream.
Thank you for the detailed response! I really appreciate the feedback.
I've been thinking a lot about Victoria, Carrie, and many of my other OCs, and making them more fully fleshed out, with rich and complex lives. In other words, beyond having them taking turns sinking in quicksand, what about their own lives (as I imagine them)? Each one of my OCs has a backstory, a career, hobbies, likes and dislikes, relationships with one another and with others around them; how does this influence what they do, and the way they think and speak? Most of this will not be relevant to the actual quicksand-focused stories aside from maybe some throwaway lines here and there, but I think that at least taking the time to consider these things ultimately helps add flavour to the story. I've been working on ways to make each character stand out in their own way, especially when the time comes for all of them to finally meet and interact. And yes, I think For Your Pleasure must have had an influence in crafting characters who are able to stand out without being caricatures.
When I write, I try to make sure that my characters act in convincing, believable ways. I often visualise my stories as a series of disjointed scenes - what if I was watching a tv show or movie, and the people in the stories in my head were being played by real actors? I really enjoyed writing the little interactions between Victoria and Carrie, because their close friendship is a central theme to their part of the story. Before I wrote Victoria's Succumbing, in the stories I had planned, both of them find out what it's like to sink in quicksand, come close to losing each other, then go on a journey of discovery together. I didn't want them to simply exist to fulfil kinky fantasies and be reduced to imaginary sex objects, as is the trap where it comes to creating smut. And even though I do aim to incorporate more sexual elements in upcoming stories, a major component of my stories will be about romance and female friendships. I want to make sure that I avoid falling into the "men writing women" trope.
GTaggert wrote:But that's other really good thing you did here: you took what is normally a cliche trope ("it was all a dream") and twisted it into something engaging. You avoided the most common trap in writing, namely Deux Ex Machina by having Victoria actually die in her dream - while experiencing an orgasm, no less. Then you gave the experience of the characters an ominous twist by having Carrie look at That Word again on the computer - an ominous warning that Carrie might experience the same thing. It was therefore much more than just a bad dream during a lengthy nap; it was an experience Victoria got drawn into by this fantasy world.
My stories are meant to be more grounded and set in the real world, although some fantasy elements will come into play later on. So the dream was a way for me to have Victoria visit this fantasy world created by Quicksabbie, and interact with characters like Demeter and Swamptress. The "succumbing" bit at the end was an integral part of my plot, so it was essential for Victoria to experience such an ending, at least in this dream.
I'll have to admit that having Carrie discover That Word was something I made up right as I was finishing the story. I didn't intend for it to lead anywhere, I just wanted to end with something ominous. As far as Victoria and Carrie were concerned, it was all a dream. Or was it?
Otherwise I was simply going to have Carrie thinking about visiting the beach to experience sinking in quicksand herself (the focus on the next story in this series). There were other possible endings that I didn't use in the end. I am glad that this unplanned idea to end the story on Carrie also seeing That Word actually benefited the tale.
GTaggert wrote:Anyway, your descriptions of the quicksand and the sensations Victoria experienced were very engaging and a joy to read. My only criticism of the story is the same criticism I often have for myself: getting a little wordy and stretching things out a bit far. But if you can keep the reader engaged using techniques like I described above, that's not really a bad thing.
Yes, I did get this critique with my earlier stories about being too wordy. Sometimes I focus too much on context and world-building, or infodump (which I tend to do in real life on other topics). Because I visualise the sinking sequences as if I'm watching an actual video, I tend to feel like I need to describe every action and every moment in great detail. But less is more at times, and I'll need to keep that in mind for future works.
GTaggert wrote:After the failure of getting For Your Pleasure into the hands of a TV producer this summer, I decided on a different tack. I'm currently working on and nearing the completion of my novelization of For Your Pleasure. It contains an expanded version of the first For Your Pleasure story with additions based on the teleplay I wrote, plus a plot point from For Your Pleasure II. I hope to publish it before Christmas. I'll keep you posted!
Looking forward! That should give me plenty of time to revisit all the previous instalments of For Your Pleasure.
