What's a Groaner you ask? An incredibly lame pun or joke that makes you groan at how bad it is.
I'll start it off-
Q: What did the lady mop say to her bucket boyfriend?
A: "You're dumped."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dan Rather.
Dan Rather who?
Dan Rather play golf than football.
And of course, the lamest one-liner of all-
Two drums and a cymball fall off a cliff. *bah-dum-tss!*
*Flees from rotten tomatoes and vegetables*
'Groaners' joke topic
- nachtjaeger
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic
A set of jumper cables walk into a bar. The bouncer looks them over and says "I'm letting you in, but don't start anything."
A termite walks into a tavern and says "Is the bar tender here?"
Famous scientists Erwin Schrodinger and Wener Heisenberg were on their way to a conference. Heisenberg was driving when they got pulled over for speeding. "You were going 80 miles an hour back there" says the cop. "Impossible!" says Heisenberg, "You can't possibly have measured my speed and location at the same time." Annoyed, the cop decides to search the vehicle. In the trunk, he finds a dead cat. He goes back to the window of the car and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back there?" Schrodinger does a facepalm and says "I do now."
"Knock, knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Saddam."
"Saddam who?"
"Saddam shame you don't hear knock-knock jokes any more."
A piece of string walks into a bar. The bouncer stops him- "Sorry, pal, we don't allow strings in here." So the string decides to disguise himself. He rolls around on the sidewalk, frizzes out his ends, and twists himself into a pretzel. When he goes back to the bar, the bouncer says "Hey, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
A termite walks into a tavern and says "Is the bar tender here?"
Famous scientists Erwin Schrodinger and Wener Heisenberg were on their way to a conference. Heisenberg was driving when they got pulled over for speeding. "You were going 80 miles an hour back there" says the cop. "Impossible!" says Heisenberg, "You can't possibly have measured my speed and location at the same time." Annoyed, the cop decides to search the vehicle. In the trunk, he finds a dead cat. He goes back to the window of the car and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back there?" Schrodinger does a facepalm and says "I do now."
"Knock, knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Saddam."
"Saddam who?"
"Saddam shame you don't hear knock-knock jokes any more."
A piece of string walks into a bar. The bouncer stops him- "Sorry, pal, we don't allow strings in here." So the string decides to disguise himself. He rolls around on the sidewalk, frizzes out his ends, and twists himself into a pretzel. When he goes back to the bar, the bouncer says "Hey, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic
Three men walk into a bar.
.
.
.
.
The fourth one ducks.
.
.
.
.
The fourth one ducks.
Studio 588 currently offers more than 2200 different HD and QD quicksand videos and has supported production of well over 2400 video scenes and other projects by 13 different producers. Info may be found at:
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- MadMax359
- Posts: 4258
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic
A movie producer wants to cast a movie where classical composers are played by action stars; Stallone says "I'll be Mozart"; Van Damme says "I''ll be Beethoven"; Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach"
The strong do what they want, the weak do what they must
- Zorah Valtero
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic
What did the pot say to the frying pan?
Nothing. Pots don't talk.
Nothing. Pots don't talk.
- Mynock
- Posts: 3049
- Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2009 2:29 am
- Location: PA
Re: 'Groaners' joke topic
Q: What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
A: Nothing, they just waved.
Q: What's Irish and stays outside?
A: Pati O' Furniture
A: Nothing, they just waved.
Q: What's Irish and stays outside?
A: Pati O' Furniture
"Know thyself, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories."
--Sun Tzu
--Sun Tzu
- DangerGirl
- Posts: 399
- Joined: Thu Apr 16, 2009 4:50 pm
Re: 'Groaners' joke topic
"Sorry," says the bartender. "We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos in here."
A neutrino walks into a bar.
A neutrino walks into a bar.
- PM2K
- Always Remembered
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic
Heard about the man at the glasses factory who fell into a lens polisher at work and made a spectacle of himself?
Last edited by PM2K on Thu Jan 26, 2017 1:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
- DJlurker
- Posts: 1468
- Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:29 pm
Re: 'Groaners' joke topic
PM2K, your second joke was already posted in this topic...
*cue The Price Is Right losing horns*
*cue The Price Is Right losing horns*
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Re: 'Groaners' joke topic
How many doors are there on a chicken coop?
Two, if it had four it would be a chicken sedan.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the damned elephant.
Two, if it had four it would be a chicken sedan.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the damned elephant.
Studio 588 currently offers more than 2200 different HD and QD quicksand videos and has supported production of well over 2400 video scenes and other projects by 13 different producers. Info may be found at:
http://studio588qs.com
http://quicksandland.com
http://psychicworldjungleland.com
http://studio588qs.com
http://quicksandland.com
http://psychicworldjungleland.com
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