I need to ask something

[Theog]

I'm just looking for some input on this and thought this would be the best place to ask a couple questions about the whole quicksand fetish thing.

I have accepted that quicksand (mainly sinking in it myself, but a few other things on here too) is something that can act as a bit of a turn-on for me, but I have no idea for the life of me why this is so. I just wondered if anyone would be able to shed some light on the matter, especially if someone was in the same boat as me and has an idea or even the tiniest inkling as to a cause or contributing factor to this?

Also, and I'm sure its asked a lot and certainly mean no offence to anyone in the community (including myself) when I ask this, but I know that a quicksand/sinking fetish isn't anything that could really be regarded as "mainstream" (if there is such a thing), but is there anything really "wrong" with it? Or for lack of a better way of putting it, is it "normal"?

I've had a flick through some of the topics on here and haven't seen anything yet relating to my questions, but I'll carry on rummaging through the pages and see what I can find.

Thanks in advance to anyone who replies.

[Fred588]

I'll have a go at answering your questions, although I must state up from that I have no relevant professional training.

First, is it normal? To answer that directly would involve a comparison with whatever it is one calls "normal." Literally, the word "normal" means average or typical, and I don't think we can either define that or accept it as necessarily desirable. "Typical" can also mean "bland." Usually when people ask about Then the attraction to the character gets associated with the quicksand (or whatever the fetish is).

I think there was a third question but I have forgotten what it was.

[DeepSink]

Theog: Speaking from my own experience and with zero in the way of credentials, I would say that there is no assignable "cause" to this (or perhaps ANY fetish). Offering myself as an example: I recall leaving my bedroom one night for a drink of water and coming into the living room where my parents were watching television. There was a scene on TV of a couple of desperados meeting their fate in a pit of quicksand --showing the slow sink and struggle we have all come to love. I remember getting a funny-but-pleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach, which I had never experienced before. I was either FIVE or SIX years old at the time, and I recall playing that sinking seen back in my mind over and over. From that time on I have been attracted to linger on, stare at, and dip my feet in mud in stead of just passing by like the other folks I happened to be with at the time. How can I explain that in terms of learned behavior?
As far as it being "wrong": Unless you believe that it is wrong to dwell on or indulge a sexual fantasy or craving, then this one is no more "wrong" than any other. If I am not hurting anyone else (exposing myself or taking advantage of others), than what's the harm to me or society? Now, if I neglect my family or otherwise involve the unwilling, than I am guilty of harming others. The same would be true in over-indulging in alcohol, abusing drugs, or a multitude of vices.
I believe that we and others default to viewing as "wrong" anything that a) we can't make sense of, and/or b) is unusual or not shared by many others.
If you can indulge your desires without harming anyone, than why not?
--DeepSink

[Nessie]

if someone was in the same boat as me and has an idea or even the tiniest inkling as to a cause or contributing factor to this?

Yes, I too am turned on by sinking and no, I have never known why.

is there anything really "wrong" with it? Or for lack of a better way of putting it, is it "normal"?

Whether it is "wrong" depends on what you perceive as being wrong. Some people regard any kind of different slant to sexuality other than simple vanilla male-female sex as being wrong while others (like myself) believe that if one isn't hurting another person, and one isn't hurting oneself, and the fetish isn't taken to excess in a manner that degrades one's quality of life -- then whatever it is, with no harm done, it's okay.

I do not think a quicksand fetish can be regarded as normal since not many people have one. To be normal, you have to be like most people. Most people do NOT have a quicksand fetish, so "normal" does not describe us, but being not-normal is not the same thing as being wrong.

My background: I'm a lifelong female quicksand fetishist with no idea why or where it came from, and I very much prefer going to real mudpits and really sinking over fantasy, watching others, writing stories or making art (although I've done all that too).

I have no related or peripheral sexual interests other than quicksand. Some people think that bondage, mummification or or vore is similar and they are turned on by those things too, but my mind will accept no substitutes. This makes the question of the origin of my interest especially baffling since you would THINK that an engulfment of another kind should be interesting to me if it's very similar but for some reason, my fetish ain't fooled and rejects it!

I've adapted to what I am and I have learnt to live with it.

Nessie

[dlodoski]

Whether it is "wrong" depends on what you perceive as being wrong....

Well, that's the problem.

We generally rely on others to tell/teach us what is right and wrong - especially during our formative years. I doubt many of us had parents/teachers/clergy that encouraged us to decide for ourselves.

So, for better or worse (usually worse), we are taught that non-heterosexual sex (including weirdness) is WRONG. Masturbation is WRONG. Pornography is WRONG. And so on.

And so, many deep-seated beliefs about right and wrong are not our own. I think that a good starting point for self reflection for a fetishist is a firm understanding of sexual repression, and just how pervasive it is in many cultures.

Accepting who and what you are does not mean that others will (it truly pays to be careful in this area). And, there's no 'one size fits all' as far as how this gets started with folks. But as you learn more and more about yourself, getting relief from a general feeling guilt (of who you are inside, not necessarily your subsequent behavior) is a great starting point.

[bfc796]

The explanation is simple - it's a deep subconscious desire to re-enter the womb (wet, squishy, enveloping and safe). Yeah, put me back in already...

[Mynock]

^^Wow.....that is one weird-ass mental image I'm getting right now.
While an incident with an adventurous girlfriend was what got me into the fetish aspect of it, when I think back it's obvious now that it was always something that held my attention. I'd see a quicksand scene on tv or in a movie or come across one while reading a book and it would immediatly capture my interest.

[quikmoose]

Dear Fans of Asking Questions about Something:

First off, you have asked some good questions.

Secondly, I am no expert in human behavior or sexuality either. I am just plain ol' me.

I'm convinced a quicksand fetish is just fine. If I threw another person into quicksand, I don't believe they would drown, so it is, as far as I'm concerned, a real fantasy. Just watching some of Dave's models struggle to sink themselves into human-made or natural bogs can be pretty hilarious. (Not to say that one could not perish in quicksand if one really wanted to, but it is really really hard...)

Thirdly, I think a woman in quicksand (which is what I fantasize about, even if I am the one who is sinking) is like sex itself. There is first the initial encounter, a thrilling "aha" moment. Then there is the physical struggle, and then the climax (where either the female is saved or drowned -- I prefer saved). Then there is the relaxing aftermath, in which the female will regain her breath and thank her savior again and again and again...

Sounds like sex to me...

-- Quikmoose, in a Philosophical Mood...

Psychiatrist: "Do you believe that sex is dirty?"

Woody Allen: "Well, yeah, if you do it right..."

[Nessie]

And so, many deep-seated beliefs about right and wrong are not our own.

Quoted for truth.

The culture has indoctinated us so heavily on the subject of sex that when asking if a thing is right or wrong, I often find it necessary to stop, think, and tally up positives and negatives.

Right and wrong are subjective concepts. That means, it's all in the mind.

So I try not to use those words. I ask myself something like, "If everybody does this, does the world get better for people, or does it suck even more than it already does? Or is there no actual effect?"

I class fetishes as, mostly, "no effect" unless one is in a relationship and this relationship is damaged by it, or if one's fetish centers around hurt or discomfort to others. And, actually, yes...quicksand does qualify as a fetish where hurt or discomfort can be an essential part of the gratification process.

So let's go ahead and break "quicksand fetishism" into real-life consequences and benefits instead of abstract moral judgments.

If everybody had a quicksand fetish, yes, the world would suck even more than it already does if everybody was hung up on actually throwing living humans into quicksand for sexual gratification. We could never go near muddy places alone for fear that the quicksand maniac was hanging out...and if everybody had a fetish, that'd be all of us!...so, we'd have guards in the wilderness instead of on city streets....and your loved ones would vanish without a trace.

The world will suck much more than it already does.

But if everybody had a quicksand fetish and as a result, all they did was buy quicksand videos, they would enjoy watching the scenes while unemployment would go down as producers and performes find work!

The world gets better!

If everybody had a quicksand fetish but all they did was go sink in real quicksand, this would have no effect on employment. It would be harmful, though, if all sinkers were stupid. The world would suck more if people were constantly dying or being hurt or needing to be rescued when all they actually intended to do was get in a nice sink.

As to risk itself, though, all things carry risk. Don't skydivers and mountain climbers take similar risks? Why is our risk WRONG and their risk RIGHT? Perhaps the risk is acceptable if it stays below a certain level of riskiness.

If sinkers take precautions to stay safe, then, they get outside, get some exercise, burn calories, and connect with Nature. It's even pretty cheap if you can keep things local.

The world gets better!

So I guess the effect of sinking for one's own pleasure is largely up to the sinker...isn't it?

As far as relationships are concerned, this can only be determined by the relationship itself and the people in it. One spouse's "That is WRONG!" is another spouse's "So what?" which is another spouse's "Cool! Let's try it!"

This way of thinking does require an honest assessment of one's own fetish, but it certainly grants us much more freedom than any simple, "It's WRONG."

Nessie

[auroraman]

Whether it is "wrong" depends on what you perceive as being wrong....

Well, that's the problem.

We generally rely on others to tell/teach us what is right and wrong - especially during our formative years. I doubt many of us had parents/teachers/clergy that encouraged us to decide for ourselves.

So, for better or worse (usually worse), we are taught that non-heterosexual sex (including weirdness) is WRONG. Masturbation is WRONG. Pornography is WRONG. And so on.

And so, many deep-seated beliefs about right and wrong are not our own. I think that a good starting point for self reflection for a fetishist is a firm understanding of sexual repression, and just how pervasive it is in many cultures.

Accepting who and what you are does not mean that others will (it truly pays to be careful in this area). And, there's no 'one size fits all' as far as how this gets started with folks. But as you learn more and more about yourself, getting relief from a general feeling guilt (of who you are inside, not necessarily your subsequent behavior) is a great starting point.

I have been affected by the sight of a quicksand drama for as long as I can remember. As I matured, I thought I'd probably not go advertising the fact, through good ol' tact rather than anything else. Thing is, I'm totally comfortable with my feelings on this. My biggest surprise was coming across like minded people on the net, purely by accident. The quicksand dramas so skilfully done by Dave, Fred et al. have actually made it easier for me to be more relaxed about my feelings. I know that the models are coming to no harm and that actually makes it a bit more fun for me. Check out some of the comments by obviously non-fetishists on Youtube etc. Do they really beleive that the models are in real danger of death? Well done to you film makers! I think the perceived "difference" between US and THEM is quite simple. You either get it or you don't. Is it possible to have half a fetish?