Camping Disaster
(This story has also been posted on my DeviantArt page: http://randomimageviewer.deviantart.com ... -591522878)
"Tirah!"
uhhhhh....
"Tirah, wake up!"
Why? I'm so tired... Ok fine, I'll at least say something...
"What do you want Tessa?"
"Tirah, it's really raining outside. We're going home, before the roads in the mountains turn to absolute shit!"
Tirah sat up with a start. She wasn't a big fan of mud, and she certainly didn't want to be stranded in a ton of it.
"Ok, but I need to use the bathroom first."
"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, the ground right outside the tent is really, really muddy already. So you can't. Not right now."
"Ok."
Tirah got out of bed. Tessa seemed to be in a hurry to get out of the mountains. So, Tirah got dressed and put her rain boots on.
Within 10 minutes the girls had packed up everything and were on the move. The dirt roads were already quite soaked from the sudden rainstorm. But they were drivable. With nothing else to do, Tirah began playing video games on her phone.
Tirah had been playing games on her phone for a while and had fallen into a trance, not paying attention to anything. When she finally looked up from her phone, she saw that the rainstorm had finally gone.
"Welcome back to the real world! You've been staring at your phone for the past hour!"
"Wow, it's been that long? Apparently so." The roads were still okay, but the land that wasn't part of the road was absolutely soaked. And then Tirah remembered her previous issue.
"I still need to go to the bathroom."
"Alright, I'll find somewhere to pull over. Just be careful with all that mud out there."
A few minutes later, Tirah got out of the truck. She began walking towards a group of trees about 100 feet away. The incredibly sticky mud sucked at her rain boots, pulling them slightly deeper with each step; each step being slightly more difficult. About halfway to the trees, Tirah found herself stuck in the mud. Her boots were most of the way gone. She pulled on them, but they barely budged.
"Well that's just fucking great! I can't move!" Tirah said with a slight hint of annoyance in her voice. Then she noticed something. She looked at her left boot, and it was still slowly sinking. After two minutes it was up to the rim. I'm not going to do my bodily functions in full view of Tessa, but at the same time... I don't know if I can get to a suitable spot in time! Tirah thought.
"Need some help?" Tirah heard Tessa's voice behind her.
"Yeah, I'm thoroughly stuck."
"Ok, hang on, I'll be there in a moment!" Tirah turned around as far as she could, and saw Tessa heading towards her, her boots plunging deeper into the sucking mire with every step. Eventually, Tessa reached Tirah, whose boots had by now completely disappeared, mud now touching Tirah's jeans.
"Oh boy... You're more stuck than I thought..."
"And I still need to go to the.... the bathroom...." Tirah fell silent as the front of her jeans turned dark, and the darkness rushed downwards. Oh fuck... I just peed my pants in front of my best friend! Tirah thought with disgust. After a long moment of silence, Tessa spoke.
"Did that really just happen?"
"Yes... It did. Now you need to help me get out."
"Yeah, about that..."
At that moment, Tirah realized that they were both up to their thighs in the mud.
"Do you have cell service here, Tessa?"
"It's the middle of the mountains, but I can try. Good thing we're relatively near the town of Stanley, so maybe I'll get a signal from their cell tower... Nope! So we're both fucked."
Of course there's no service... Just our luck!
Five minutes later, the two girls were up to their waists in the mud.
"Wait, I just thought of something."
"What is it, Tirah?"
"This mud feels quite sticky... So we can't escape on our own... But we can probably dig each other out!"
"Ah, genius! That's so obvious! Why didn't I think of that?" Without a moment's hesitation, Tessa leaned forward and began to dig Tirah out of the mud.
"Oh yeah, I have a water bottle in my little shoulder bag, I'll pour that on there and loosen the mud." Tessa poured her whole water bottle into the mud around Tirah. Digging was way easier now. About 6 minutes of digging later, the mud let out a loud squelching sound, and Tirah was able to move to shallower mud.
"Thanks! But... How are we going to get you out?" As she was rescuing Tirah, Tessa had sunk to nearly her chest in the mud.
"Oh, um... I've got it! I learned this from my older sister when she got me out of the mud in our backyard a while ago! All I need to do is kick my legs in a swimming motion and I can get out!" Tirah waited while Tessa swam her way out. Tessa eventually got up into the shallower mud Tirah was in. Both girls were covered in mud.
"I'm glad I left my phone in the car, so it didn't get ruined. After all, that was supposed to just be a short bathroom break."
"Well, it kinda did turn into a bathroom break, remember?"
"Oh yeah.... Anyways, let's get back to the car and clean up."
Eventually the two were relatively clean, and they drove home. The end.
So, it's been a while since I wrote a story. I'm not sure if this is exactly a good story yet... I guess those of you reading this will be the judge of that! To be honest, the reason I don't write that much anymore is... I'm afraid of writing a bad story. And that probably sounds as silly to you as it does to me, but... Some part of my mind insists it makes sense. Thanks for reading.
Camping Disaster
- 101927700
- Posts: 482
- Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2014 8:41 am
- Location: Idaho, USA
Camping Disaster
I’m not the person I was in 2016.
Profile picture by twitter.com/bogexplorer
Profile picture by twitter.com/bogexplorer
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- Posts: 224
- Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2015 1:56 am
- Location: Stuck armpit deep in a sucking mire
Re: Camping Disaster
Other than Tirah pissing herself, it was a great story, I liked it.
- PreussLee
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Sat Jan 10, 2015 12:17 am
- Location: Germany
Re: Camping Disaster
I enjoyed it too...except for the pissing part...but at least it wasnt big then and part of the story! I like youre storys a lot besides that usually
- 101927700
- Posts: 482
- Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2014 8:41 am
- Location: Idaho, USA
Re: Camping Disaster
PreussLee wrote:I enjoyed it too...except for the pissing part...but at least it wasnt big then and part of the story! I like youre storys a lot besides that usually
Jon Smith wrote:Other than Tirah pissing herself, it was a great story, I liked it.
For me writing the story, Tirah's pee accident seemed inevitable, as she had needed to go since she woke up, which was at least a few hours before the main sink happens. But that's just my opinion. All in all, thanks for the kind words.
I’m not the person I was in 2016.
Profile picture by twitter.com/bogexplorer
Profile picture by twitter.com/bogexplorer
- PreussLee
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Sat Jan 10, 2015 12:17 am
- Location: Germany
Re: Camping Disaster
yes thats what i meant...You did good this time to make that suitable to the story and didnt give to much focus on it! Youre on a good way
- 101927700
- Posts: 482
- Joined: Sat Nov 08, 2014 8:41 am
- Location: Idaho, USA
Re: Camping Disaster
PreussLee wrote:yes thats what i meant...You did good this time to make that suitable to the story and didnt give to much focus on it! Youre on a good way
I’m not the person I was in 2016.
Profile picture by twitter.com/bogexplorer
Profile picture by twitter.com/bogexplorer
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- Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:03 am
Re: Camping Disaster
101927700 wrote:For me writing the story, Tirah's pee accident seemed inevitable, as she had needed to go since she woke up, which was at least a few hours before the main sink happens. But that's just my opinion. All in all, thanks for the kind words.
Nothing is inevitable. Everything is writer's choice. It isn't a bad thing, as long as it is something that you intended and are comfortable with sharing.
As far as it being a good story - eh, it's episodic, doesn't have a plot, and relies too much on back-and-forth dialogue rather than description. You've done okay in setting up the scenario with a purpose (in this case, a bathroom break). People might like it for its content.
Viridian @ deviantART: http://viridianqs.deviantart.com/
- fightingfish
- Posts: 159
- Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2012 4:28 pm
Re: Camping Disaster
wonderful story by a talented writer
Well done!
Well done!
Thank you quicksand actresses for the marvelous job you are doing for us fans! :)
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