Emily's Discovery (M)

[BisraSetesh]

My first quicksand tale! I hope you'll enjoy, and I would love to hear any thoughts you have.

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“Awesome,” Emily said as she discovered the marshy clearing ahead. She bounced in place with glee and looked again for onlookers. Then, content she was alone, she slung her rucksack into the roots of a nearby tree.

The girl knew she’d be an odd sight out here. Not many hikers had hair dyed bright orange or wore what was halfway to a Hot Topic poster girl’s outfit, plaid skirt et. al. She’d been looking for a place like this for years but only found one thanks to a map. It wasn’t the paper kind, though: she’d found it online on a friendly forum for other mudding enthusiasts. She couldn’t remember its name, but right now it wasn’t important.

Right now, she’d found a prime patch of wet mud to wallow around in. So she thought, at least: she had to be sure, so she stuck out a sneaker to test the proverbial waters. At first nothing happened, but she quickly regretted her decision after another three steps when a costly squelch stained her right shoe with mud.

“God dammit,” she muttered, sweeping wayward locks of amber from her eyes. “Should’ve thought of that.”

Emily looked around again in full awareness that she was about to make herself look stranger still if caught. She fingered her shoes and slipped out of them one by one onto solid, dirty ground. Reaching for her rucksack, she rummaged through a half-dozen water bottles and produced a towel, which she then sprawled out on the forest floor.

Emily sucked in air and steeled herself. She slid her hands down her skirt and shimmied ‘til it fell, stepping out one foot at a time before dropping it on the towel. Her eyes darted impatiently towards the wet marsh ahead as she pulled her top off overhead, dressing down to little more than a bikini and a spiny wristband.

“Please God don’t let anybody find me. Or please Satan. Whoever wants to help me today,” she muttered to herself, shuddering with anticipation. Of about average height and build, Emily stood at about five and a half foot. Her appearance from the neck down was unremarkable save for a visible rib, mucky soles and a shoulder mole - an unusual feature for sure. She toed the mud idly and beamed when it replied with suction. The ground oozed water as she took step after step, arms wobbling in poor imitation of balance.

The marsh sucked her feet to her ankles, prompting a laugh. She tread carefully on and imagined - eagerly - the moment it would suddenly give way and drink in her legs.

Ten minutes passed. No such thing occurred.

Tired of wading in shin-high slime, she skulked back to her towel and sat sighing. “Who marked this stupid place?” she grumbled, staring down her muddy toes. “It’s barely an inch deep.”

She reflected with a dismal look. “Eh. It’s my first time trying, so it figures things won’t go my way. Oh well, it was fun anyway. Time to clean up.” But as she rose to her feet, the ground gurgled. She blinked as bubbles popped and smacked, as the mire suddenly bled puddles galore. The noise persisted for a full minute as Emily watched in wonder, the familiar light of hope relighting her bored eyes.

“A geyser?” she mused as she tiptoed marshwards. She was already dirty, so what harm would it do to try again? She tested a foot which, as before, sunk little. But as she leaned forward a bubble popped and the ground gave way, sucking her down. She stared as the mud rose to her knees. Tiny puddlelets of cold water licked her bare skin but she took another step regardless. This time her front leg sunk further, her hind foot with it.

“Woah,” she gasped, wobbling her leg. She could feel the mire condense as she provoked its suction. Emily smiled as the gurgling mire sucked her further… further…

Perhaps minutes had passed? Emily didn’t care. She was sinking and it was a delight not only to watch, but to finally experience for the first time. As the lukewarm sludge suckled her thighs she noticed the mounting difficulty of escape. She jostled her legs and churned the muddy mixture with her hands on the bank, accidentally eliciting a familiar dampness down below. She looked at the forest conspiratorially; it would be their little secret so long as nobody came.

Fortunately - or as she thought, unfortunately - she had stopped sinking. Her legs were stuck. As she pushed her hands behind for support, the ground gave way. They sank only an inch, but that didn’t stop her imagination going wild. She determined to find a deeper spot now, but knew she had to get out and prepare first.

After five minutes of struggling she crawled out of the mire and collapsed on her towel, panting with exertion. “Holy shit, that was awesome,” she wheezed. Sitting with a grunt, she craned to watch the mud as bubbles burst along its surface. By now she could see precious few traces of her footprints save for the gaping holes where her legs had been. She bit her lip and fought. Despite her willpower, despite her common sense and despite her personal modesty...

What was the opposite-sex equivalent of thinking with one’s dick? Whatever it was, it was exactly how Emily described herself now. The girl unbuckled and discarded her bra on the towel and slid fingers down her panties’ rims. She teased them off, trying her hardest - with unsteady hands - to keep them clean from her legs. At last, fully naked, she turned to her backpack and rummaged for rope. With grubby hands she uncoiled the twelve-foot beast and stalked the treacherous ground.

Emily mumbled to herself. “Okay, where should I… I need a tree. So which one’s, uhh… okay, that’ll do.” She tiptoed around the smacking mud to a great oak branch and lassoed it. She wound the rope this way and that, fastening it in both directions. Her cautious approach to tying had cost it several feet of reach, but she couldn’t have cared less.

Emily’s heart palpitated. She paced bogwards with rope in hand, watching as it swallowed her shins. Determined, she rose her legs with a groan and inched onward, reaching the full extent of her rope - and then some - before she could move no more.

She sunk to her knees, hard of breath. The girl shimmied her hips impatiently, aching for the cool mud’s caress. Her stomach did somersaults as she considered the impossibility of extracting herself should the rope fail. She huffed and discarded it an arm’s length away - just within reach - to amplify the tension.

“This is so dumb,” she lied. “I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. Fuuuck,” she sang. “But it’s hot as hell.”

A hand snaked its way down as a blush rose to her cheeks. Staring down the twin mouths that guzzled her legs, she teased herself and moaned.

The mud, truth be told, was taking an eternity. But so great was Emily’s will to savour the moment that it rose to her groin before she could finish. “Ah!” she squeaked as her hand withdrew. As she flinched at the chill, the mire claimed more skin. The girl could do nothing but watch as her lap disappeared below, and the sight drove her wild.

Desperate now to prolong the moment, she attended her chest with both hands instead. She sighed lustily as the quivering earth drew nearer and muddier.

But suddenly, the ground gurgled. Her trance broke amidst a cacophony of angry bubbles bursting. Emily hadn’t even time for confusion before her sinking crescendoed. The quicksand churned and sucked down her waist and her hips in one go, starting to count her ribs. She screamed and lunged for the rope but swept it away by mistake. Her heart pounded in her ears as she tried again and again to grab it as she sank toward imminent demise.

But as the coppery muck kissed her breasts, the gurgling stopped.

The mud calmed again, quiet but for the popping of its usual bubbles. She sat petrified, sunk to her chest, breathless. She didn’t dare move suddenly lest the ground give way again, so she reached ropewards with painful slowness. She scratched it with her nails, failing to move it again and again. Finally, after countless tries it came close enough to take. She grasped it hard and unheld her breath.

“Oh thank god,” she panted. “That was fucking terrifying.”

Her sinking had slowed, but the mud was still swallowing her millimeters at a time. Merely the act of moving her head down to look sacrificed an inch. Emily watched and felt as the sucking mire gradually enveloped her breasts and held her tight, restricting her breathing. And right now, breathing was something she was doing plenty.

Testing the bog’s grip, she strained a leg against its suction - to no effect. Emily’s face flushed as she considered her situation. To be naked in a bog in the woods, stuck almost up to her shoulders was an indescribable thrill. And this thrill birthed a dangerous idea.

“Okay,” she breathed. “It only does that every ten, fifteen minutes? That means if I’m quick I can…” She pressed her free hand against the spongy surface, burying it in the mire. A solitary gurgle of suction made her flinch, but she stayed the course until - with effort - she finally reached her goal.

Emily moaned as her hand worked its magic. As she savoured the sensation of her fingers, she could feel the mud cradling her armpits. Even so, the girl was pent up and she knew it: she’d be damned if she was getting out before release.

“Nngh,” the girl grunted, breath heavy as the hand betwixt her thighs drove her mad. The mire crept upwards in her vision as her squirming sold centimeters of skin to the sucking morass. Emily was dizzy with lust. She tugged on her rope one last time to try its strength, and then at long last…

She dove her rope hand beneath the mud. Her heart raced with adrenaline. Between her writhing and moving, she sunk herself shoulder deep in mere seconds. Soon, the thick mud crept up her neck and held her tight, invoking thoughts of asphyxiation and further fuelling her flames.

“Mmmmnn. Ah!” she whimpered, voice trembling. “Fuck yes.” She moaned, panting and sweating. The time it took the mud to cup her chin was a blur, but even as it kissed her lips she couldn’t stop her hands.

“Mmmmph!” She screamed into the mire as she started breathing in through her nose. “Mmmmmphh!” she repeated, throwing back her head as the pleasure ballooned, her climax mere strokes of a button away. That is, until the mud gurgled again.

Loud bubbles popped in Emily’s ears, jolting her alert. The mud softened around her feet and she began to sink. She panicked. As she tried to free her arms the sudden movement mired them in the bog’s sucking grasp. She raised her head and screamed before it smothered her voice too, terrified eyes scouring the woods for rescue that never came.

Emily frenzied to free her limbs from the sucking mud but only succeeded in driving herself deeper. Up to her eyeballs she let loose a muffled scream before her vision went black and the world outside became but an echo in the bog.

...

Do you dare open the cat box to uncover and experience Emily’s fate? Or are some things best left unknown?

Choose wisely.

...

The mire smothered Emily’s head with cruel deliberation, soiling her carroty hair and filling her nostrils. She tried hard not to breathe, knowing it’d fill her throat with mucky death, but her lungs were already burning.

At last, she could hold it no more. In desperate struggle she thrashed against her muddy cocoon, fighting the inexorable suction of its dirty depths. She knew she could move no more than centimetres, and the swamp was swallowing inches. Her efforts were futile.

But today, mere centimetres sufficed.

She bumped something rough and hard ahead with her toe. Fumbling in the mire, she pushed down on it hard. Though she nearly slipped, the rock gave her ground enough to rise from her grave. She breached the surface and, long overdue, she gasped for air.

Alas, the mud that covered her head prior answered instead, globlets filling her throat and choking her. She wheezed, inhaled reflexively and gagged again as unconsciousness beckoned. Her body convulsed as she finally yanked her arms free and clawed at the suffocating death on her face.

She writhed, coughed up dirt and spluttered, wheezing for air. She vomited and, at last, simply breathed. She dipped in and out of consciousness for nearly a minute, hyperventilating.

The moment her senses returned she felt blindly for the rope and clung to it like a long lost lover. With strenuous effort she pulled herself out of the mire inch by inch, taking entire minutes of straining and groaning. First came her shoulders, then her hips and behind. Finally, her legs slid out of the swamp. She fell, lay limp on the ground and sobbed.

“Oh god,” she gasped, raking her hands through the mud on her face. “Oh god I could have--“ She coughed and retched again. “I nearly fucking died! Why did I do this? What the fuck is wrong with me?”

The smack of a nearby bubble startled her away. She scrambled for the towel and sat on it hugging her knees, staring at the slimy abyss that swallowed her whole.

She’d never come back, she thought to herself.






Not for a while, anyway.

[JSample]

A very enjoyable read, BisraSetesh, especially as your introductory effort. The "geyser" element was a creative and effective way to allow Emily to pace her exploration of the bog and to pleasure herself during what she believed would be a "safe" period before it erupted again, threatening to take her under for good. I also enjoyed her self-recriminations at the end, when she vowed that "she'd never come back... not for a while, anyway." An excellent start, and I look forward to reading more!

[BisraSetesh]

A very enjoyable read, BisraSetesh, especially as your introductory effort. The "geyser" element was a creative and effective way to allow Emily to pace her exploration of the bog and to pleasure herself during what she believed would be a "safe" period before it erupted again, threatening to take her under for good. I also enjoyed her self-recriminations at the end, when she vowed that "she'd never come back... not for a while, anyway." An excellent start, and I look forward to reading more!

Hoho my, thank you very much for saying so! I enjoyed writing this a lot, and I'm glad the twists and turns along the way worked.

[Solrex]

This was an extremely well written story. I forget the person here who writes K.I.S.S. stories, but it stands for Keep It Simple Stupid. This story was by no means fancy with lava for quicksand or any kind of magic. The geyser was the only thing that seemed possibly fantastical, and even it was in the realm of logic. Considering geysers shoot and suck water, I would not be surprised if a geyser could suck you under even against buoyancy. That's something I care about for my stories. But as you said, this is your first story. For your first story, 10/10, you couldn't have done better.

Let me give you some advice. For me personally, I wrote a fantastic first story, had a few hiccups/ writing puberty after my first and great story, but I kept going, and my writing got back to the golden era. For you personally, if you feel like your next few stories don't even compare to this one, it doesn't matter, just post it, keep writing, and get better. That's what I did. Also, maybe practice some non-erotic writing if you want to practice your writing skills. That's something I wish I could do at this point, but alas, my motivation comes from my desires, or roleplay.

So, in short, you did a great job, don't give up, and keep writing. You'll become a legend one day. I wonder how other people on this forum currently view me. Am I a legend, or am I just normal? It's kinda hard to tell, in this community.

Good job! Keep going!

[BisraSetesh]

This was an extremely well written story. I forget the person here who writes K.I.S.S. stories, but it stands for Keep It Simple Stupid. This story was by no means fancy with lava for quicksand or any kind of magic. The geyser was the only thing that seemed possibly fantastical, and even it was in the realm of logic. Considering geysers shoot and suck water, I would not be surprised if a geyser could suck you under even against buoyancy. That's something I care about for my stories. But as you said, this is your first story. For your first story, 10/10, you couldn't have done better.

Let me give you some advice. For me personally, I wrote a fantastic first story, had a few hiccups/ writing puberty after my first and great story, but I kept going, and my writing got back to the golden era. For you personally, if you feel like your next few stories don't even compare to this one, it doesn't matter, just post it, keep writing, and get better. That's what I did. Also, maybe practice some non-erotic writing if you want to practice your writing skills. That's something I wish I could do at this point, but alas, my motivation comes from my desires, or roleplay.

So, in short, you did a great job, don't give up, and keep writing. You'll become a legend one day. I wonder how other people on this forum currently view me. Am I a legend, or am I just normal? It's kinda hard to tell, in this community.

Good job! Keep going!

Pardon me for the late reply, as I have been without internet. But thank you very much for saying so!

I'm glad my approach was well received, and your praise is very high indeed.

I admit I was fully aware of the "increasing stakes" I see in a lot of quicksand fiction, and so I hoped a more grounded work might provoke some thought and hopefully inspire people. Above all, I wanted my writing to be enjoyed.

To at least some degree, it appears I succeeded! Hohohoho. Thank you again for your wonderful feedback.

[Solrex]

This was an extremely well written story. I forget the person here who writes K.I.S.S. stories, but it stands for Keep It Simple Stupid. This story was by no means fancy with lava for quicksand or any kind of magic. The geyser was the only thing that seemed possibly fantastical, and even it was in the realm of logic. Considering geysers shoot and suck water, I would not be surprised if a geyser could suck you under even against buoyancy. That's something I care about for my stories. But as you said, this is your first story. For your first story, 10/10, you couldn't have done better.

Let me give you some advice. For me personally, I wrote a fantastic first story, had a few hiccups/ writing puberty after my first and great story, but I kept going, and my writing got back to the golden era. For you personally, if you feel like your next few stories don't even compare to this one, it doesn't matter, just post it, keep writing, and get better. That's what I did. Also, maybe practice some non-erotic writing if you want to practice your writing skills. That's something I wish I could do at this point, but alas, my motivation comes from my desires, or roleplay.

So, in short, you did a great job, don't give up, and keep writing. You'll become a legend one day. I wonder how other people on this forum currently view me. Am I a legend, or am I just normal? It's kinda hard to tell, in this community.

Good job! Keep going!

Pardon me for the late reply, as I have been without internet. But thank you very much for saying so!

I'm glad my approach was well received, and your praise is very high indeed.

I admit I was fully aware of the "increasing stakes" I see in a lot of quicksand fiction, and so I hoped a more grounded work might provoke some thought and hopefully inspire people. Above all, I wanted my writing to be enjoyed.

To at least some degree, it appears I succeeded! Hohohoho. Thank you again for your wonderful feedback.

I'm glad you enjoyed my feedback, I hope you use it to craft even better stories. Good luck!