Thanks everyone for taking the time to read it through, it turned out rather longer than I had originally anticipated so kudos for sticking with it.
Mirador
A new venture for me...
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suntexi
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:57 pm
- Location: Cranham, England
Re: A new venture for me...
I've only just read your story and, as a writer, I think it's superb. Adversity, hope and finally, resignation of Jes to her fate, and this is much more realistic than the sucking down and drowning scenario - this is how quicksand really does kill you. I like the bit about how she was too busy in her ecstacy to notice she'd gone past the point of no return.
I wrote a similar story, where a man loses his wife and he, himself is terminally ill so he decides to join her, in exactly this scenario - he uses a drysuit, wades out to the quicksand, gets into it above the waist and can't get out again. The sea only reaches up the beach on very high tide; he will be dead before then; his remains will be food for the creatures. Probably hypothermia will get him first as it's set in the Wash in England.
This is a really great story with lots of realism. Are you still writing and if so, where do you post your stories, as I'd like to read more of your work?
Also, I can't remember the site where I found your story. Perhaps you, or others here could let me know and whether there are any other places like it.
Thanks in advance,
Suntexi
I wrote a similar story, where a man loses his wife and he, himself is terminally ill so he decides to join her, in exactly this scenario - he uses a drysuit, wades out to the quicksand, gets into it above the waist and can't get out again. The sea only reaches up the beach on very high tide; he will be dead before then; his remains will be food for the creatures. Probably hypothermia will get him first as it's set in the Wash in England.
This is a really great story with lots of realism. Are you still writing and if so, where do you post your stories, as I'd like to read more of your work?
Also, I can't remember the site where I found your story. Perhaps you, or others here could let me know and whether there are any other places like it.
Thanks in advance,
Suntexi
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Solrex
- Posts: 230
- Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2018 7:02 pm
Re: A new venture for me...
Wow, this is amazing. I love all the small details and realism used in this post. The length is also incredible. The ending was jarring for me though, as it seems unfinished. It would have been nice to see an escape or a death, but the ending given is one that drives me nuts! Where you’re being told a story, but then you are expected to make the rest of the story up yourself.
Keep going, I wanna see how she fairs, whether she dies or makes it out! For me personally, if I was in this situation, I would know that determination and consistency is what would get you out. If it’s less than a millimeter of progress per minute, most people would say it’s no progress, but if you keep going, even if it takes a day or two, you will get out.
Commenting so I’m alerted if you write a part two.
Keep going, I wanna see how she fairs, whether she dies or makes it out! For me personally, if I was in this situation, I would know that determination and consistency is what would get you out. If it’s less than a millimeter of progress per minute, most people would say it’s no progress, but if you keep going, even if it takes a day or two, you will get out.
Commenting so I’m alerted if you write a part two.
- CurlyJ
- Posts: 101
- Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:39 am
Re: A new venture for me...
Incredible read....just incredible. Thank you for your efforts. Totally enjoyed it.
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bogbud
- Posts: 1010
- Joined: Sat May 30, 2015 12:43 am
Re: A new venture for me...
This member has been gone for some six years...
How do you even find these old threads?
How do you even find these old threads?
- JSample
- Posts: 503
- Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 3:27 pm
- Location: Virginia
Re: A new venture for me...
It's too bad that Mirador is no longer on the forum, as Bogbud mentioned; this was a very well-written, highly detailed story of the quality and depth that I aspire to in my own stories. Personally, I would have liked to have read at least a brief continuation of Jes's final struggles after she had sunk deeper into the mud, with her eventual recognition of and resignation to the returning high tide as it inexorably approached being the true beginning of her "last great adventure," but this was not my story to write, and regardless of what I might have wanted to read Mirador still gave us an excellent, enjoyable story.
Jason Sample
- MadMax359
- Posts: 5140
- Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 11:07 pm
- Location: north carolina
Re: A new venture for me...
JSample wrote:It's too bad that Mirador is no longer on the forum, as Bogbud mentioned; this was a very well-written, highly detailed story of the quality and depth that I aspire to in my own stories. Personally, I would have liked to have read at least a brief continuation of Jes's final struggles after she had sunk deeper into the mud, with her eventual recognition of and resignation to the returning high tide as it inexorably approached being the true beginning of her "last great adventure," but this was not my story to write, and regardless of what I might have wanted to read Mirador still gave us an excellent, enjoyable story.
and his artwork was amazing
The strong do what they want, the weak do what they must
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