New Year's Resolution

[quicksanimator]

I've got this black spot in my soul that has been slowly eating me up ever since I started perusing this site and others that make women into something to jerk off over. So for one of my New Year's Resolutions for Twenty-Twelve, I'm going to quit visiting this place and other such places on the Internet in the hopes that I get better.

I now apologize to all the women on here whose pictures and videos I have worshiped as a stupid pervert. It's wrong to get jollies from watching naked women wallowing in mud or fighting the suction of quicksand. ... yech... Just typing that out arouses me, and I feel dirty for it! Anyway, continue enjoying yourselves here and in the industry, if you must, but I would rather any of you reading this consider also making a resolution of breaking the bonds this dark part of the Internet puts you in.

Enjoy the New Year, everybody! I know I will if I can beat this thing.

Quicksanimator
2011-12-31 20:24 PST

[rickyj]

This has to be the most interesting post I think I have ever read. Certainly I would be happy to address it and I am sure it will bring MANY replies. Okay, so where to begin...I personally myself completely understand your situation. I think anyone who is into any fetish knows deep inside that there is sort of a "guilty" element to it. I am a strong believer in God, and that all people have a sin nature in them that causes them to feel this guilt. You should feel a little guilty. All of us do. The question is though, is it wrong to like fetishes? On one hand, we could say, well "God put the sex drive into us, so it isnt our fault." On the other hand, we can say, "We can try to turn away from it (as you are now doing) and ask God to give us help to, well, "lose our interest" in such things. But we all know that fetishes are VERY strong and DON'T just go away so quickly. A lot of people have been born with these and are so used to them they wouldn't ever consider leaving them.
I admire your resoluton, but it's going to be tough to fight it. I think you'll admit that yourself. It's just like breaking an addiction to anything, be it a drug, or a fetish, or attachment to a person, it doesn't matter what it is. God will certainly help you if you ask him for help, and you have already repented to God and to those you "Wronged" (i.e., the women models you claim you should not have gotten sexually excited over) (atheists please ignore that whole last sentence). Conisder immersing yourself in a hobby, like taking up an instrument or writing a book, to take your mind off it. That could help too. I don't think the producers here will be hurt too badly if one person leaves the community. To be honest, I doubt anyone else on here is going to be leaving in 2012.
But I very much admire your resolution, and your bold acknowledgements of your true feelings.

[Nessie]

This is very interesting and I understand exactly what is going on here because up until 1999, I too was in complete repression mode.

Note: I could be one of the people you lusted over, but if not, I accept that...for sure, though, somebody is lusting after me because they bought clips.

I am not a professional model. I've made lots of money on some scenes and on some I make almost none. I'm paid on royalties directly related to sales. But it will probably make you feel better to know that most of the women you see here who have worked for the pros, especially if they are young, very beautiful, and experienced, have been paid A LOT OF MONEY I KID THEE NOT to do this for you. (That is why the really good stuff here isn't free.)

And the models that I have personally met, both on my only MPV shoot and on two that I worked for Fred, know exactly what you are thinking anyway and they honestly don't care.

The only model I had last summer wasn't paid a fortune and was not a pro...but she got links to this site and every question she had was answered. Her boyfriend came to her (second) shoot. No cries of "But what are those slimy guys gonna be thinking when they see MY WOMAN?" (Maybe she took him to dinner that night...with drinks!)

As a lustee: Yes, there are certain aspects to this that can be odd and uncomfortable, especially when you dig your hands right into the fetish and participate as I have. I get mail from people who ask me to do things that I can never do and don't want to do. I might be one of the very few who actually write back and say, to at least some of them, "Thanks, but no thanks, that's just not me."

I think that this ought to establish that the women who have done the scenes, at least for the quicksand producers, are fine with it. And I'm gonna bet that even Vera Miles got paid well (although she likely never knew how famous she is here). Us gals are glad that you recognize us as people too, with feelings...but really, there is no big black spot on my soul for having done scenes nor is there one from knowing that men have watched.

No regrets over here.

Now let's get to the heart of what is bothering you: Is this fetish WRONG?

Is quicksand itself bad?

Not all quicksand folk are the same. I dealt with mine by turning it in on myself. I decided that rather than watch scenes that turned me on, I would, myself, go sink in quicksand whenever I could. That way, I make all the decisions involved in my fetish and I involve no one but me.

I'm obviously not only not dead, but even quite a bit healthier than I was before I decided to be a sinker, since all that exertion does tend to keep you in shape. I burn a lot of that excess energy off in the mudpit. The desires go away for awhile. I even weather winter fairly well since I know that the pits will thaw.

I once only watched, but now I'm called a "doer". I do. I'm not normal but nobody's hurting.

So -- let's move on to #2. If you enjoy watching women die in quicksand, is that bad?

I guess it depends. Is the scene REAL?

You're probably gonna realize now that I've asked that, that most of the scenes you've enjoyed are not. They feature actresses and are staged. If the only way you can be satisfied is by observing REAL death and REAL distress, I would say that there is a problem and you should get into therapy.

If you watched Vera Miles, though, and enjoyed what you know is only a fantasy, and you need no more...you are fine.

So...when you require another person to complete your fantasy, a new issue has arisen. It's not just you any more. So whether it is right or wrong is all about what you DO concerning your need to WATCH -- and how that other person that you require to fulfill you need is drawn into the scenario.

You really and truly may not trick other people into upsetting or dangerous situations. That is what drives sex crimes and serial killers. We do not go there, period.

And you really and truly are best off not to be pushing the snot out of your girl friend/wife/any female handy to things she really doesn't like to satisfy needs that are only yours. Bad. You may not cause any serious harm but you'll lose friends or end up divorced.

But if your need is completely satisfied by watching a scene -- say, once you have watched, been aroused, and satisfied yourself, you're just ready to go on with life for awhile until the hormones rise again...

There is no harm to the other person. So go for it.

I will submit the idea that the producers here have filled a tremendous need by satisfying the need to WATCH as much as necessary in a safe manner. Serial killers, we can't address and we refuse to, and the doers are out doing and they don't need much, but the quicksand producers successfully snagged everybody who's harmlessly somewhere in the middle and the quicksand community provided a safe place where you can actually discuss these desires too.

They got that other person for you. And she's been well-taken care of too.


If the community had never produced, exactly what would all these guys be doing with their secret thoughts? Is that something I really wanna think about?

But they did produce...and as a result, some models made money. They're not hurting! The producers had fun doing it. Everybody followed safety procedures. Ever been to a shoot? The girls are always being asked, "Are you comfortable? Are you okay?" And I'll never forget hearing Norma Gee smile at Stormy Night and say, "This is a great job! You get paid to play in the mud!"

Instead of wondering if you're a serial killer inside...you can collect scenes and forget about it!

My personal religious views are atheist. As Margaret Mitchell once wrote, "I wrestle with neither angels nor devils". There isn't any such thing to me as a sexual sin that is a sin "just because God says so". So I have to leave spiritual issues to others.

I have done a lot of reading about different kinds of sexuality and the bottom line is, it's just dastardly hard to change once it's set. I figure that whatever you are, the line is only crossed when you've harmed another for your own gratification.

Maybe this helps.

Nessie

[Antares]

Good luck!

Very hard task but perhaps not impossible. The easiest bet would be to remove your web connection.

[Duncan Edwards]

Good luck!

Very hard task but perhaps not impossible. The easiest bet would be to remove your web connection.

Yeah, by cutting off your head.

Look, I thought all the "wrong" things long before Feb, 1995 when I discovered I was not alone here. There's nothing that I discovered since then that has changed who I am about my interest one bit. I was raised, and still live inside, an extremely repressive religious environment rivaled only by the Taliban.

As for thinking you have somehow wronged any of the women who are participating in this you can learn from what Nessie had to offer. I'll expand further and tell you from personal experiences that if you said something like that to Lena, Paris, Skylar, Gummi, and many others they would laugh out loud in your face. Lena would verbally chastise you for being "juvenile". I know she would for a fact. Trust me. Kym probably wouldn't stop until she made you ashamed to be a man for not wanting to do unspeakable things to her. Lena actually used the word "harmless" in a written description of us to another model. "Harmless?" I wanted to be at least slightly dangerous but "harmless?" That was disappointing. I could maybe understand if you have some sort of religious or spiritual issue with it but forget about offending the ladies involved. You make it sound as though they are somehow naive and are forced into this. They would be insulted at what they would consider to be your condescending attitude toward them. I'm as serious as I know how to be about that.

Take a break if you want. I have in the past and learned a lot from it. If you gain from it then great but don't for a moment feel bad about any part of your participation in it. I've learned that lesson over and over if nothing else.

[Mynock]

Good luck dude, you're going to need it.
My honest opinion about fetishes is that they're as hardwired into your brain as being gay or straight is. I've been getting turned on by girls in mud since puberty and I doubt it's going to change anytime soon. You can pretend not to like it and be a closet case all you want but it won't change anything.
One of us.
One of us.
Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBXyB7niEc0

[Villein]

If I have learned anything in life, it is this.
Expressing guilt about one's desires is in itself an un-natural fetish and one that leads to nonconsensual repression that does more harm than good.
Trading your desires as social commodity in exchange for social status or community is actually much more unhealthy than expressing your interests genuinely in the first place.

Naturally there are limits and so there should be.
But if you're interested in something with willing parties who are able to freely and legally give consent?
Why not enjoy what life has to offer!

My own interest in mud/sinking actually predates puberty by at least a few years and while I'd not jump to the "hardwired at birth" explanation I would however suggest that if you enjoy something and it does not harm others, you'd best enjoy it.