A new venture for me...

[Mirador]

Hi,

As promised, a story. I'm not a writer, so please be a bit gentle with any comments , but let me know what you think.

Thanks

Mirador

[quagmire_uk]

Wow, that was impressive!

[PM2K]

I agree! An excellent story for sure!

[water_bug_62208]

Wow! Very powerful and descriptive story.

Your attention to detail was most outstanding and you could feel every effort made by Jes to get free, yet being unable to do so.

What's also nice is this story provides some insight to what the gals in your artwork are experiencing when they get stuck out in the tidal mud.

Thanks for sharing!

[cnelson566]

I agree,a very powerful story. Just when you think it's over,you yank the rug right out from under us...well done sir!

[MadMax359]

really dramatic, but i'm not a fan of the ending... but i know there are two schools here, grim and not-grim!

[Mirador]

really dramatic, but i'm not a fan of the ending... but i know there are two schools here, grim and not-grim!

Thanks Max,

Your comment is very intersting, as I dliberately left it where it was so I could offer a poll as to where this would go....GRim or Not grim...

You decide.

Let me know..

Cheer

Mirador

[water_bug_62208]

This is actually an ending not too often visited... the damsel doesn't sink out of existence by story's end; however, she's left in a far worse situation than she started when she first got stuck in the mire.

Lord Muck touched on a similar theme in his story, The Long Dark Night of the Moon. To me, your story is just as suspenseful, leaving ya wondering what will happen to the damsel come the next day.

Very well done!

[Quicksand_Hex]

This was excellent, especially considering you're not a regular writer from the sounds of it. Probably one of the best stories posted here in quite awhile.

[quagmire_uk]

What was especially interesting about this story for me was that it seemed like it was going to be grim, then it seemed like she might escape, then she was stuck in a worse situation, but then it was still left open at the end without explicitly describing her grim fate.

I'm not a fan of grim so if the ending had described her demise it would have been a bit of a downer for me; instead the ending still had a bit of suspense to it so could have cake and eat it too.