Why I Don't Own a Truck

[Jon Smith]

Owning a truck has nothing to do with practicality. In fact, the most dreaded question a truck owner hears is "what are you doing this weekend?" The truck owner has to think fast, for a friend is about to move and has designs upon the truck owner's wheels.

Owning a truck is about saying "fuck you" to the the low ground clearance of compacts. About saying "fuck you" to the smug fuel efficiency of hybrids and electrics. About saying "fuck you" to the roomy passenger cabins of mini vans and SUVs. It's about having the ability to take you, your stuff, and only one other person to places other people can't go. It's about jumping over curbs to get to choice parking spaces. It's about staking a claim as a rugged individualist in a society of socialist sheep. It's about not slowing down over speed bumps or potholes. It's about sticking your face into someone else's personal space and watching them flinch.

Trucks are not for the timid.

I own a truck, a Silverado 3500, but I don't have a truck to be a jackass like that, even though a lot of people think I'm a jackass. Smug fuel efficient hybrid/electric cars like priuses, I honestly fucking hate those, unless it's a Tesla. SUV's and minivans I don't care about. I ain't jumping curbs, and I try not to hog my parking space, which is difficult because my truck is more than 20 feet long. I have a vehicle that I love a great deal more than my truck - my camaro. The size of my truck with the crew cab and the long bed might make people think I was an ass. Also, another reason why is that it's noisy, stinky, V8 Diesel, isn't good for the environment at all, probably even worse than the volkswagen crisis cars. But how I feel about that, I really don't give a shit. And of course, another reason why people would hate me, I'm usually playing loud music from my truck.
The reason why I bought the truck is so that I could go offroad, pull a trailer, camper, boat, or a trailer bed with ATV's on it, etc. Not necessarily to say fuck you to other drivers.

[Mynock]

What it comes down to is drive what you like. I spend too much time in my vehicle to not buy something that I enjoy.

[Jumpoff_Joe]

Owning a truck has nothing to do with practicality. In fact, the most dreaded question a truck owner hears is "what are you doing this weekend?" The truck owner has to think fast, for a friend is about to move and has designs upon the truck owner's wheels.

Owning a truck is about saying "fuck you" to the the low ground clearance of compacts. About saying "fuck you" to the smug fuel efficiency of hybrids and electrics. About saying "fuck you" to the roomy passenger cabins of mini vans and SUVs. It's about having the ability to take you, your stuff, and only one other person to places other people can't go. It's about jumping over curbs to get to choice parking spaces. It's about staking a claim as a rugged individualist in a society of socialist sheep. It's about not slowing down over speed bumps or potholes. It's about sticking your face into someone else's personal space and watching them flinch.

Trucks are not for the timid.

And not for the big, either. I've never been able to fit my lanky frame into one.

[Jumpoff_Joe]

Owning a truck has nothing to do with practicality. In fact, the most dreaded question a truck owner hears is "what are you doing this weekend?" The truck owner has to think fast, for a friend is about to move and has designs upon the truck owner's wheels.

...It's about not slowing down over speed bumps or potholes. It's about sticking your face into someone else's personal space and watching them flinch.

Trucks are not for the timid.

The way this is described, it sounds like trucks aren't for polite people, either. However, I am planning to try to find one when I move next year. Not to move stuff, necessarily, but to have clearance over rough roads. I certainly won't be doing it to try to intimidate people.

Edit: the only trucks that seem to fit me are the Mazda/Ford Ranger mashup king cabs of late 80s.

[Jumpoff_Joe]

As fuel prices moved toward $4.00 a gallon in 2010 I was going to buy a 40 mpg Ford Fiesta just to drive back and forth to work and my wife disapproved mightily. Basic transportation was my goal although having an automatic transmission and a new sound system would be nice too. My wife had a fit. She believed it was a kids car and very unmanly for me not to be driving at least some kind of truck. In the end we compromised and I bought a new 2010 Ford Ranger with the largest V-6 available after selling the old one to a friend. All of my trucks have seen a lot of action both off-road and for the endless trips to Home Depot that owning an older home requires. They have all been very basic and practical but the point is that my wife and a great many women around here have been sold the belief that not having a truck/SUV of some kind means you have no manhood. Not many guys are going to let that happen.

That's pretty wild. When I see a big truck and someone has elevated it up, let's just say that I have different opinions than those expressed here. People do seem a bit shocked, however, when I step out of the roomy cabin of subcompact, stand up, and tower over everyone around them. I'm not sure what is more impressive, a normal-sized man in a large truck or a giant man emerging from a capsule.

[Duncan Edwards]

As fuel prices moved toward $4.00 a gallon in 2010 I was going to buy a 40 mpg Ford Fiesta just to drive back and forth to work and my wife disapproved mightily. Basic transportation was my goal although having an automatic transmission and a new sound system would be nice too. My wife had a fit. She believed it was a kids car and very unmanly for me not to be driving at least some kind of truck. In the end we compromised and I bought a new 2010 Ford Ranger with the largest V-6 available after selling the old one to a friend. All of my trucks have seen a lot of action both off-road and for the endless trips to Home Depot that owning an older home requires. They have all been very basic and practical but the point is that my wife and a great many women around here have been sold the belief that not having a truck/SUV of some kind means you have no manhood. Not many guys are going to let that happen.

That's pretty wild. When I see a big truck and someone has elevated it up, let's just say that I have different opinions than those expressed here. People do seem a bit shocked, however, when I step out of the roomy cabin of subcompact, stand up, and tower over everyone around them. I'm not sure what is more impressive, a normal-sized man in a large truck or a giant man emerging from a capsule.

I share your feelings on that. My wife isn't overly enamored with "stuff" but she reacted to my driving a sub-compact like I told her I was going to wear a dress. The calendar says otherwise but she is much younger than me at heart. All I can figure is that if she feels I'm grown up enough not to care about the size of my rig then I might have lost interest in something else too. She will know when that happens because people will be shoveling dirt in my face.

Having shaken hands with you I do confess that I'm impressed with your ability to get yourself into a space that size. I'm "normal tall" and getting my knees under a steering wheel can be a little snug. You're "NBA tall" so it's got to be a real challenge.

[Mynock]

Once upon a time there used to be truck based SUV's because that's what people wanted, a body-on-frame 4x4 with people moving capabilities.

Then along came the envirotards who demanded higher gas milage and less emissions.......and the safetytards who demanded that it not roll over when they swerve too hard because they were too busy playing on their phone to pay attention to the road.......

Only way to do that was to switch to unibody construction and replace the heavy duty truck components with stuff that essientially turned the 'truck' into a morbidly obese station wagon with no ground clearance. Also all the safety bullshit causes a huge price increase, meaning that light duty pickups no longer make sense. Who's going to buy a Ranger when it's only 3k less than an F150?

So now instead of going out and buying a reasonably sized V6 Ford Explorer, my only option for a real truck is a 6000lb full sized F150 only slightly smaller than a city bus. Makes total sense don't it?

[Duncan Edwards]

... my only option for a real truck is a 6000lb full sized F150 only slightly smaller than a city bus. Makes total sense don't it?

That's the exact situation I know find myself in. My next rig will have to be a Toyota or Nissan small pickup. I don't really need a full grown truck but Ford's product lineup doesn't include that any longer. Of course by the time I'm ready to do that I may be able to get a small pickup from Tesla.

[Jon Smith]

... my only option for a real truck is a 6000lb full sized F150 only slightly smaller than a city bus. Makes total sense don't it?

...Like a humvee? 6000lb slightly smaller than a city bus.
One of my neighbors has a stretch humvee. But he decided to be a dickhead with it and fill it with car batteries and 5kw subwoofers. So whenever he has a party with his friends he wakes us all up and sets off all the car alarms at 2-3AM.
My truck is much like an SUV inside. It has a crew cab, so there's tons of leg room for people sitting in the back. It's plenty large and I don't see why I would need anything bigger, this is probably the largest vehicle that I'll ever own (unless my dream comes true and I get a caterpillar to dig sinking pits). I am a big fan of small vehicles like various roadsters, convertibles, beetles, porsches, fiats, etc.

[Fred588]

... my only option for a real truck is a 6000lb full sized F150 only slightly smaller than a city bus. Makes total sense don't it?

...Like a humvee? 6000lb slightly smaller than a city bus.
One of my neighbors has a stretch humvee. But he decided to be a dickhead with it and fill it with car batteries and 5kw subwoofers. So whenever he has a party with his friends he wakes us all up and sets off all the car alarms at 2-3AM.
My truck is much like an SUV inside. It has a crew cab, so there's tons of leg room for people sitting in the back. It's plenty large and I don't see why I would need anything bigger, this is probably the largest vehicle that I'll ever own (unless my dream comes true and I get a caterpillar to dig sinking pits). I am a big fan of small vehicles like various roadsters, convertibles, beetles, porsches, fiats, etc.

I know a place you can practice using that caterpillar (lol).